I see this world around me and I wonder at all the intricacies and messages and so many levels and the way it gives my life dimension in the various planes of existence. The ethereal side to my visions have subsided but the disappointment was very thin as I soon discovered my dreams were becoming more vivid and easily remembered upon awakening. It's so interesting how the mind works and shifts gears in very important ways to help ensure a soul has balance. I go through my days as if I'm an auditor, looking for certain trends in performance and measuring against some random standard that's been set in the back of my mind and no, not for the sake of judgment. Rather, the measuring phase is about understanding what drives the spikes and what the spikes in themes and experience mean.
No more do I wander through the world taking comfort in the obvious, material and superficial. I slowly turn away from the world knowing full well that it will run just fine without my constant participation in the happenings out there. I turn deeper within to feel and experience everything at a different level for no other reason than the auditing and measuring I've done indicates I've not spent enough time developing certain intangible aspects of my being and my living. The ego tries so hard to take the reigns from time to time but it can't successfully do so because it doesn't have a firm enough basis in reality...the ego is not real but is an imagined challenge we created to keep ourselves in check. How boring would life be if we didn't sometimes have a dichotomy inside our own heads to sift and sort through?
Spirituality leads you to some interesting places. I've noticed the path moves ahead in leaps and bounds only to double back, twist and turn to revisit places I've already seen or thought I had. When the path turns back there is this feeling of loss and like, "what didn't I get" or "what did I do wrong that I must go back and see this same stretch of road again?" But then my ego forgets about dimension. It is one thing to see with the eyes and quite another to see the same stretch with the heart or the energy body. Understanding occurs once we've experienced something with all of our senses and sometimes going back in memory alone is insufficient and so, we seem to call to us similar situations with little changes and refinements to experience something yet again but at a deeper level. I finally get that, I think and am no longer in a state of blaming myself for missing something. I didn't miss anything at all but an opportunity to see something with different senses and from varying perspectives. This realization alone is so liberating because I begin to fill like a much less stupid student on the path of life and instead feel as if I'm one beginning to get the lessons.
So, I find a time comes where I detach from the path itself. The path and forward moving progress was something only my ego needed in order to feel good about itself. The reality is, I've always felt good at heart, always positive, curious and willing to remain open despite the things I've encountered and then contemplated shutting down as a result. I'm stronger than that and the lessons grow more difficult in this dream and I find that fascinating and with this fascination I look again at the lessons and I see that strangely, they are not so difficult at all and in fact are really growing easier in the scheme of things. It just strikes my funny bone today for some reason.
Now I look around and ahead and I see the path stretched out again and I smile from inside knowing the path isn't really there at all. I am the path, I am every twist and turn, I am the creator of impetus, motion and velocity. I am the strangers I meet, the sun that shines and the rain that falls and cleanses everything. My search comes to an end at the point the emptiness took hold of my consciousness and for a few brief moments, I felt I was grieving and then shortly thereafter, this stream of infinite thought, data, feeling, existence filled the emptiness like a down pour of rain in beautiful energy and light. I'd be lying if I said I consciously understood because I don't but the soul of me knows this is the way, this is the path that leads home and if I'd never engaged in the path at all, I'd still have found the destination because it was within me all along. We are both the journey and the destination...we are an integral part of the All of Everything seeking to shatter the illusion of our separateness. Hmmm, well, I'm going to let these thoughts trail off and fade to the background music that plays continually inside of my head. The new direction is nowhere. I can't stop laughing. It's beautiful. ~Blessings for your journeys dear ones. May you find the joy, peace and happiness of your own existence in this amazing dream.
(Forgive the typos and grammatical challenges. I don't usually type stream of consciousness into my blog but have today and plan to leave it as is. (c) 6/12 Jaie Hart - Photo/Random internet find).