Life is Like a Project

Summary:
Let's face it, we all make bad decisions sometimes. And when I say "bad" I mean that we had a specific outcome in mind and the actions we took were only remotely close to helping us achieve that outcome. So, when we find ourselves here, disheartened and disappointed, it is no time for blaming self or others or even your Maker. It doesn't matter what you or others did that may have seemed to go wrong. What matters now is what you do. Own your decisions, own the resulting consequences, forgive yourselves for the pain and suffering you are experiencing...take a moment to recenter and get peaceful and then take action to right your choices in a way that will support your growth and healing. I know it isn't easy but its worth it to stand in your own light and own your seeming mistakes and then spend time trying to understand the real lesson behind what is being presented to you. It is so often not as simple and superficial as it seems. Trust you to ultimately know how to do what is good for you and then do it. It doesn't matter how many times you seem to fail. Don't judge you in that way. Reconsider that it is what you do now that shows your true greatness.  So, step back a moment and consider that what you want in life can be managed like a project and your mistakes can be managed and your successes can be realized.

Nitty-Gritty (Inputs and Outputs):
Life and the tasks we engage in are like managing a project.  For those of you not exposed to project management, let me explain.  To manage a project, you first must establish with stakeholders the scope and the specific outcome of a project.  Once you have negotiated and clarified the scope and outcome, you have to spend time considering the resources, time and processes needed to achieve the outcome.  Once the resources are realistically established, the amount of time is estimated with a realistic approach to the processes and tasks that must be conducted, you must order the processes by what must be done first and then begin to complete the prioritized tasks to achieve the goal.  If your resources fall short, your processes are flawed and you don't have enough time or your scope isn't clearly articulated and agreed upon with stakeholders, you will most likely NOT achieve the desired outcome.

Life is like a project.  All of your goals, dreams and desires can be considered mini projects.  When you get down to it, your successes in life depend on your ability to create a vision of what it is you want and go through the process of obtaining the clarity and cooperation or agreement of others involved, the resources, carrying out the processes within the time you commit to making things happen and then enjoying the process of your labors when it all comes together as planned.  If you are short on any inputs, you will change your outcome.  So, what if you don't know what you want an all you've got to work with are the things you do not want?  Well, simply put you need to analyze the inputs into the process and then you will understand how you arrived at an outcome.  When you understand the inputs and outputs in your lives, you can begin to change inputs and get different outcomes.

We're so funny sometimes in that we go through life doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome.  I believe Einstein is even quoted as saying this kind of approach is the very act that defines insanity.  So, we go through life not understanding the process of how we create in this life.  Hmmm.It's more than just wishing for things and hoping they happen.  You have to actually do something in order to manifest those things you want and need.  For example, if you are homeless and you want a home, you won't get one by wishing for one, demanding people give you one or attempting to manipulate people to get one for you.  If you really want a home you have to set the goal and determine what resources you need to get a home.  You then have to figure out what tasks and processes you need to engage in and in what priority will get you a home.  You may have to find resources or work for them, build it or buy it, etc.  You get the picture.  The same is true for those who want peace and serenity but who find themselves mired in chaos.  What are the inputs into the process that resulted in chaos and what does it take to achieve peace and serenity and are the resources (e.g., people) you are surrounded with in agreement that peace and serenity is the goal?  Sometimes we find we are working on a goal assuming the parties around us are in agreement but they aren't in agreement and they are working contrary to our true goal and so we fight to get them to move towards our goal.  Such a pointless endeavor.  If you find yourself in that situation, you need to replace your resources or see if the folks you are working with are willing to participate in the achievement of your goal.

Emotion makes the process difficult and I would advise that you carefully consider the inputs into your own emotions.  Where are your emotions coming from?  Did someone force those emotions into your body and mind or are you reacting to your own assumptions?  This one is hard, I know but go back to project thinking.  If your goal is happiness and cooperation but you are working with others who do not share your goal but you assume you are, all of your work will be for naught and you will be in pain, angry or frustrated.  In such a case, are others really responsible for your frustration or are you really responsible because of your assumptions - or maybe you're frustrated because someone said they'd be working with you towards your goals but their actions are contrary to their words?  Is that person still responsible for your frustration or is it your beliefs that are driving your crazy?  I'm not judging and I'm not saying one way or another.  What I'm trying to do is to get you to question your inputs and challenge you, if you are not happy with outcomes, to think of ways you can achieve your goals and to get out there and achieve them.

Nothing is more frustrating than getting into a project where you think you have clarified the scope and the outcome but then it changes and you assume you are still working from the original premise!  So, when you find that, you must go back to the stakeholders (people around you) and re-validate that the goal is really still the goal because the tasks and resources being applied are not going to achieve the stated outcome.  Either they agree or they disagree and you can re-establish your resources, processes and tasks accordingly.

Conclusion of Sorts:
So, the process of creation in our lives is not haphazard and random.  Sometimes the resources are involuntarily changed but the goal IS still the same which requires a different set of thoughts and creativity to get to the goal or maybe the goal really does have to change.  Only you can judge that and you are the master manager of the project that is your life.  In this sense, your decisions and actions are all about you.  Just be conscious of what you do and what an outcome will be and you won't be surprised by outcomes or if you are surprised, you can adjust and continue to achieve your goals or modify them to suit you.

If nothing else, I hope you find a measure of wonder in your lives and how you have created the things that you have.  You don't often realize how powerful you are until you see the results of your work.  Creation has a process...A concept, Resources to Manifest, Desire to Manifest, Working towards manifestation, and then Enjoying what manifests or Engaging in Refinement of what you have Manifested.  Its really amazing how creation works.  May you be blessed always with the creativity, positive energy and impetus to continue the beautiful creations in your life.  Live, love, learn and grow.  That's what we came for.  ~Blessings

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo is a random internet find)

Memories

I felt the Pacific calling from within my soul the moment I opened my eyes this morning so, I made about my routine in haste and hopped in the Highlander (no more truck) and headed out the door.  I usually pass by a Starbuck's drive through on my way for coffee but this morning the Starbuck's across the street from my house kept popping into my head and so I decided to stop there instead.  I walked in and noticed it was not crowded at all and then realized it wouldn't be on a week day at just after 9:00 am and made my way to the very short line to order.  I walked up to the counter when it was my turn and before I could speak, the nice young man looked me in the eyes and said, "You have three kids don't you."  I was puzzled and gave him a funny look and said "Well, 4 now and smiled."  He smiled back and said, "I'm Nick*, I used to live right below you.  Remember me and my brother Brian*?  You raised me."  My mind reeled back through the years and found the space, that place in time and a blond haired boy of about 13 or 14 and his younger brother - brown hair and big smile came to mind.  I remembered him and his younger brother along with many other kids I some how managed to have "adopted" at that time in my life. 

It struck me funny for a few moments, that time in particular because it just so happened to be during my 3 year hiatus from participating in much of life.  I had decided to just focus on what was and wasn't working in my life and hold it together for my kid's sake along with their many friends who practically lived at our house all of the time.  Snapping back to the present I said, "Oh my gosh, Nick, I didn't even recognize you all grown up.  I remember all of you kids practically living at my house.  I can't believe it.  Look at you all grown up."  Smiling from a place I had nearly forgotten, I went to pay for my mocha and Nick said, "Nope, it's all taken care of."  "Awh, thank you so much, " I said and put a tip in the container at the register.  I so wanted to catch up with him and hear about how life has treated him and his brother and dad too but he was working and busy so I let him know we lived right across the street and I would definitely be by with the kids to say hello.  Before I left I asked if he was on FB and he said he was so I let him know I would find him.

As I left the store and made my way to my car smiling.  I thanked the Universe for prompting me to take an alternate approach to my normal routine.  I was rewarded with connecting with one of many children that have come into my life and who I had the honor and pleasure to get to know and care for.  Especially one that was actually really special to me.  He was special because I knew the heart of that him and I felt his struggles.  The reason I knew this one was special was that he might have been rough and tough with the other kids but at the time I knew him, I was a single mom of three, one of which was a baby..as my youngest started to grow, I watched how he was with her.  He was so sweet and kind to her and played with her sometimes.  I would watch and I could feel the energy and love inside of him.  He may not appreciate my saying this so I might just change his name in this post (I did) for the sake of his privacy.  But he's special and I don't know if anyone ever told him but you can see it in him now full grown into a young man.  Not to forget his brother - he too was a good kid at heart and he was so funny he always made me laugh.  Today, the light shines in Nick's eyes and I was so proud.  I could see his mom in the background beaming pure joy at the child she brought into this world.  She left us about 11 or 12 years ago and with tears I remember that day and the moment his father told him and his brother that mom wouldn't be coming back.  I was there looking out my window, feeling their sorrow right along with them and trying with all of my might to send as much loving and healing energy as I could.  Oh gosh, that memory tears at my heart just now.  But she went home and is at peace now.  I've seen her from time to time over the years in a way I can't readily explain but she's proud of her boys and well she should be.

As I pulled out of Starbuck's and headed for the coast, I thought about that time once again.  There was another neighborhood child  around us then too.  Mahlee, I'll call her as so often I did (not her name though - protecting her privacy). She too had lost her mother not long before then.  So during that time of my life I was so overwhelmed being a single mother of three and these three additional beautiful souls were around me too and I grew to love them all. Mahlee entered an essay contest and the topic was about mom's for Mother's Day.  She wrote something wonderful about me and she received an award, a garnet.  She gave it to me in a beautiful box she painted.  She knew I always made those painted boxes for others but never got to keep one for me.  Now I do.  I still have that box and the garnet she gave me.  I remember the day she graduated Junior High School and she invited me to participate.  She gave me a rose reserved for the moms and I cried as I watched her...I could see her mom smiling there right beside her too and my tears were of pure joy - not just mine but from Mahlee's mom too.   There truly is nothing more precious than being honored to be a positive influence in the life of a child (okay - tears of epic proportion now remembering this time).  I need to shift topics a bit so I can wrap this up without running for a box of tissues.  :) 

When I finally got to the shore of the Pacific, I made my way to tower 24 at Dog Beach in Huntington.  It's my thinking spot.  I sat down and immediately noticed two grommets (also known as very young surfers) in the surf.  They were paddling out to catch the waves.  They caught my attention because of the contrast between them.  They were both caught in a very strong part of the tide.  One boy struggled to move and was just stuck.  He'd paddle and kick just to not move an inch.  But he kept trying to paddle to the shore.  He did this until he was so tired he just sat there unmoving letting the tide carry him until he rested enough to try again.  The other one turned and went with the flow of the current and headed back out to the waves, caught one and then came back in.  Finally, a surf coach tromped through the surf to help the other little grom get to his feet.  She helped him get into a better position and then he swam back out and successfully surfed his way in past the section of strong current.  I was reminded of so many things it would take a novel to fully articulate.  In summary, as I watched the scene before me I realized that there will be times in life we can flow with the current.  When we struggle against the current, we just won't get anywhere.  If you don't give up and you keep on trying, help will eventually come along and if you accept that help and allow it to be, you'll make your way out of what keeps you held back and struggling.  Then too, I came back to the fact that these were children out in the water.  We're all like children out at sea trying to find the perfect wave or current that will carry us where we think we want to go.  Sometimes the current will change and if we find ourselves opposing the flow, we'll struggle until we find a way to go around it or use it to our advantage.  So many more thoughts blow through my mind like this sea breeze as I sat there watching and then it came, yet again - the voice of the sea and echoes of Elsewhere and I thought, "Could this day or this moment be any more perfect than it is."  It was a perfect moment.  I was feeling so much love running through memories and letting my thoughts find purchase in curiosity and hope.  Those two things, curiosity and hope...they are the tools of transformation and joy. 

I didn't stay at the beach long today.  I was eager to head back home and find Nick and his brother on FB.  I found them and well, I hope I get the chance to catch up with them and that reminds me it's time to check in on Mahlee.  I've not heard from her in a while and would like to know how she is.  Easy to remedy thanks to Social Networking!  Life is good.  No, not just good but REALLY good.  I'm grateful in this moment for every single moment I have had to breathe here on Earth.  I just really am.  I hope you look back on your life from time to time to see just how perfect certain events unfolded with pure purpose even if you couldn't see it at the time.  If you can see this, just one event, no doubt it'll have you smiling knowing the Universe is amazing, this life is a Treasure!  Be blessed!

(c) 2012 photo/words Jaie Hart *Names changed to protect privacy. :)

Outcome Modification Process Explained

Physics teaches us that what we focus on, we create. Until we become aware and more awakened, we unconsciously create from a place of fear, anxiety and pain. As we learn, grow and begin to heal from the wounds within (and we find them by seeing the product of our thoughts manifesting without) we learn that we can consciously create from place of love, hope and joy. Like attracts like and our thoughts magnetize the energy about us so that we draw to us what our thoughts command. Think positive, heal the source of the negative thoughts and then begin to consciously create. Unconscious creations are good for learning but when you get tired of those kinds of lessons and can stop blaming the outside world for them, you can change the outcome by what you put into your world. Positive thoughts and conscious creation will change the outcomes in your lives. Know that there is no right or wrong way to learn...there is no judgment...and we have free will to hold either negative or positive thoughts. We will attract to us what we most need to learn and in that, the creating is perfect for each either way.

To some, the above concept is a gross over simplification and nothing but new age BS.  I used to be one of those so, I completely understand.  Until the moment I realized my life was falling apart and I took a courageous look at what the common thread was in all of my life's happenings (e.g., me and decisions made that were not well thought out to say the very least), I could not complete the shift in thinking necessary to move from a negative state of results I didn't want to a positive state achieving results I did want.  I've had conversations with naysayers and again I'll say that I completely understand.  Words such as, "What do you mean I'm to blame - all of this s$%! just happens to me...everything I touch turns bad or goes wrong and nothing I do will change it...I'm sick of being hurt all of the time, I'm sick of being taken advantage of and left with nothing but pain," are not lost on me at all.  I so get it.  I remember those feelings because I once held them but there isn't some magical belief you hold that transforms you.  You really have to look with a keen eye towards the major things you were involved in in your life that went wrong and understand how you had the hand in your own undoing.  Maybe it's something simple as putting too much trust in others that had not sufficiently earned that trust.  Maybe its that you had too high of hopes out of sync with the reality of a situation and who you were dealing with and you exposed yourself.  Maybe the gamble was just too big or you were seeking a quick way out and took it without much thought to what all of the risks were.  Maybe it was really you making not well thought out decisions all along that lead to your down fall time and time again.  Believe me, I know how this feels. I've been there, done that and gotten many messy T-Shirts.

I spent 3 years in near complete solitude at one point in my life because everything had gone wrong, everything I touched lead to my pain, everything I did backfired and it got so bad all I could do was cry myself to sleep at night from the pain of it.  But one sleepless night, something happened.  I kept asking myself, "What is it?  What is it that I am doing wrong?  This victim thinking is putting my power in everyone else's hands leaving me a perpetual victim to float forever in a stream of nothing but terror and misery emotionally.  And then, I saw someone else making the same mistakes as I had made and I realized, with chills, that there was no mistake about what I was seeing.  I was going to have to spend some time trying to separate the themes and sets of assumptions I always made and based my decisions on.  I found a good number of things as I began to go deeper within.  First of all, I routinely expected those around me to behave like me - honest, high integrity and responsible - they'll do what they say they are going to do no matter what.  One of the first things I learned was that THAT was a terrible assumption and expectation on my part and quite unrealistic.  I realized quickly too that I needed to have much greater experience with people before I put forth any kind of trust.  It is not that I refused to trust, it's just that I had to learn to be more cautiously optimistic with how I expended my resources with people who talked a good talk but I had not yet experienced enough time with them to see if they could walk the walk before I trusted them with my resources or goals, plans and dreams.  I began to take accountability.  I began to become more self-reliant emotionally, physically and financially.  I wasn't making enough money for my obligations and so I took a second job rather than relying on others who said they'd help me and then didn't, wouldn't or couldn't.  I cut out all extra expenses.  I realized the assumption that I needed to hold was that I was in fact surrounded by people who could not be there for me the way I was there for them.  I had to understand that also was a theme.  Why did I feel responsible for stopping or mitigating the pain of others when there was no reciprocation - there was only taking from me in those around me and no giving.  That wasn't their bad - that was mine. I blamed them but I realized that I needed to blame me for my own assumptions and expectations. The Serenity Prayer lead me out of that one - God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdome to know the difference.  These words a genius to me!

The deeper I went into my assumptions and expectations about situations and people I had experienced, the more I began to ask, why?  Why did I do that?  What was I really after?  What was I hoping to gain from an action that lead to pain? Was I trying to change things beyond my control?  What was within the realm of my control? As I tore apart the themes, I saw what lay hidden underneath.  That is where things got very interesting.  I found a lot of pain that had laid dormant, unhealed but affecting my thoughts in the negative.  I wondered what would happen if I changed the premises of my thoughts and assumptions, maybe ditch all assumptions and seek validation and clarity in advance, if that might change the outcomes.  It did but not enough.  The trust thing came in again - even though I would validate with crystal clarity verbally in advance I still could not guarantee with certainty an outcome and began to realize that I couldn't control an outcome at all.  The only thing I could really do was set my intent, be solid in what I hoped to achieve (e.g., have a good goal that had nothing to do with anything but honest input and healthy focus for result) and then do my part to get there actively and not passively.  When I took accountability for doing my part, everything changed.  I began to see clearly that the only power I truly had was the power I exercised to control my own thoughts and actions and that the actions of others were far beyond my control.  I started to see things differently and started having better outcomes as a result.

This isn't a one-time process and you're healed though.  It takes effort every day and now today when I see an unpleasant outcome, I can quickly diagnose where I went wrong in my thought process.  I then can take the steps to focus on healing what caused me to overlook something obvious and plan to do things differently the next time. What is so funny is that the universe, in it's infinite wisdom, will give you plenty of tests to make sure your creation process is operating the way you intended based on the time and effort put into it.  I'll give you an example I see so much:  Dating - take someone who is lonely who just wants a date or a relationship but they are so fearful that what happened in the past that hurt them will happen again in the future.  I'll stop right there - this - this is a bad way to start...fear of pain from what has happened before is never a place to start.  Heal the pain first - set clear intent - and then take action so that you create from a place of curiosity rather than fear...that you create from a place of hope rather than contempt and then, then you will change your experience going further. First of all, behaviors in others that triggered past pain for you will be more visible and you won't invest time in those kinds of folks.  This will clear the path for those to date that will be more rewarding for you.  The process works just like that.  Find out where you are holding negativity and fear and clear that before you engage in a similar interaction where those emotions will rise to the surface.  If you step way back, you begin to see how it is the planning, the intent, the focus and your beliefs that create your outcomes.  Test it.  Try different things and see what happens. When lessons repeat, there is something you missed.  Don't feel bad!  Just go over the inputs again and see what you can refine or modify and then reset your intent and try it again.

Life is really amazing when you begin to understand just exactly how you create in this world.  I hope I've done a little better job on expanding the concepts in the first paragraph.  I love this lesson and test it often and it is a recipe that works...what I put into something, I will get out of something.  If I go into something with pain, I'm going to attract something that will bring me more of the same.  If I go into something with curiosity, balance and focus, I'm not going to accept what doesn't measure up to the outcome I seek and so will modify or change the resources that come at me to help me create...the outcomes will manifest if I do my homework correctly.  I love how this works now that I understand but I hated it when I didn't know what was going on.  We live, we love, we learn and hopefully grow.  I hope I've given you some food for thought at least!  When you hear that our thoughts are so powerful, well - this is just one of those ways.  If you want delicious chocolate chip cookies, you can't go into the process fearful that they are going to taste terrible!  You need to make sure you have the right ingredients, tools and process to make them come out right.  If you get a bad result, note what went into the batch, the process or timing and modify accordingly.  I'm hungry now!  I hope you get out there and create a beautiful lives for yourselves.  The tools seem to always shift and change but hey, you ARE powerful and can create new tools, look for better resources and pull everything together in a beautifully rewarding process.  You can.  Just believe it and half the battle is already won.  ~Blessings.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (Photo - this beautiful painting is not mine but I loved it - the focus is peace and serenity - smiles).

A Kiss I'll Remember

I was feeling poetic and waltzing through memories and this one came out.  ;)

I remember that night
Somewhere lost in time
Tendrils of moonlight
Traced the lines of your face
And I watched your lips
As you spoke to me
And I was hungry to taste them
Just once more
This game we've played for an eternity
Hiding in time
In the starlight and shadows
Wondering when we might find
One another again
It makes me smile from deep within
This love that you send me
Wraps around me every moment
And glad am I to know where you are
Safe and sound within the construct of your dream
And me in mine, a fascinating time
But none will compare to that moment
That precious moment we return home again
Into your arms and our love reignites
And lights the skies on fire in earnest
Oh my love, my soul and my heart
I am so very content in this frame
To know what awaits us Elsewhere...
To know the love of eternity
Rests within us, within our hearts
I go back to that night
Standing with you under the stars
And I whispered I loved you more
Than there were stars up in our skies
And sensing my longing and sentiment deep
You inched ever closer
And your love found my soul
In a kiss I'll always remember

(c) Jaie Hart 2012 (photo was a random internet find)

Participation Agreements

Craving the sea and feeling quite goddess-like, I donned a long flowing skirt with a bright turquoise camisole and headed for the coast.  The morning was misty and gray but quite comfortable.  I could taste the brine the closer I got to Pacific Coast Highway and the gorgeous and powerful Pacific Ocean.  The beach was empty except for the local surfers communing with the sea.  It was easy to find parking on a Thursday before 8:00 am.  I pulled in and could feel a rush of excitement.  I always get excited at an opportunity to come to these shores. Every time I see the shore it takes me immediately to Elsewhere and another beach somewhere in this space-time dimension construct that I walk near every night in my meditative visions and dreams.  That shore is a bit different than the one here at the Pacific.  For one thing, the sky is almost always near pink and pale but so beautiful and there are two suns instead of one and the beach is short coming down from cliffs of varying heights.  My beach is empty always. A place I go to feel the peace and stillness of solitude.  It is there that I commune with Source, the Angels and a dear loved one.

As I sit here now on this beach, long white sands ending in deep green blue water, scattered with lifeguard towers and surfers and an occasional visitor walking a dog, I wish I was Elsewhere and I guess, well, maybe a part of me is always Elsewhere.  How can something exist so strongly in my mind and heart always were I not there always, at least in part?  It must be real and parts of my mind questions this.  Regardless, I'm here and there and enjoying the peace, the breeze, the gulls, the sand, the coolness, the sound and the power of the rush of the waves.  Here and Elsewhere coalesce within me in this indescribable way and it feels as if my spirit rises up and out of my body and expands into everything in sight.  I can feel this place and it speaks to me in ways I just cannot define.  To try would cheapen it in some way.

I let my thoughts carry me off with the waves and the mist as they fall, spray and swirl in the Earth's gravity and motion.  I feel so solid in my skin and it feels so amazing.  Have you ever taken just a moment to stop your thoughts and feel what it feels like to be in your body beyond the aches and pains of Earthly life?  Have you ever felt or heard your own soul's energy as it exists in your body?  It's a beautiful sound and the most loving and gentle feeling ever.  When you put your focus there in such moments...on the sensations from within rather than without, there is this warm and pulsing energy, this finely vibrating source that provides an uplifting sensation from within the core.  Its more than amazing to experience and the really beautiful part is that it is those feelings that are there all the time no matter where you are or what you think or do.  If you only but still your mind and thoughts just one moment, you can feel what it feels like to truly be alive and it is so very alive that I feel just now.  I have no worries or cares that will not take care of themselves in time and I, well, I do have all of the patience in the world now knowing and understanding that I do not command this Earth nor its happenings on my time.  I relinquished those thoughts a long time ago and I no longer yearn to make things happen in a controlling or manipulative way in this world.  This world is rich with experiences and its our own thoughts that create our discomfort.  I cannot wish my life away and to do so would be such a waste.  I would rather sit and be still with my thoughts, create my dreams and patiently trust they will unfold exactly as they are meant to and until they do I have this amazing process of creation to thoroughly experience and enjoy.

I feel myself letting go a little more and a little more all of those things I once thought were important and begin reaching deeper within to embrace, as they unfold, those things that have much greater and long-lasting value to my soul.  These intangible things are hard to understand and even harder to properly define with the limited words so full of multi-level meanings that its pointless to define.  You have to feel it to know it and it's worth it to try.  To fade from the "I-ness" in this world from an egotistical perspective and embrace the "I Am-ness" that is broader, more connected to everything approach and then just, well, fade into that and become apart of it is an amazing process.  The truth is, we are never apart from that we just think we are and refuse to see the connections and strings we create to attach to people, places and things.  Those strings mean nothing but pain and anguish.  Letting go and fading into the all of everything brings peace, serenity and this sense of infinite possibilities in terms of creation.  But, you cannot take my word for this.  My words so inadequately define the meaning I'm trying to convey.  Just getting real quiet and opening up to something bigger than yourselves is what I'm trying to articulate a bit ineptly.  There is beauty in this world beyond what the physical eyes can see, beyond what the hands can touch and beyond what the ears can hear.   There is a silent reality that exists beyond, above, below, within and outside of these mere physical senses that you can only get to by opening this sacred place within you - this sacred place of pure receptivity and love.  If we could tap into this more often our lives would be so much more peaceful.

I realize as I write this that not everyone's path is designed to find and maintain peace.  The path of some are intended purely to disrupt and destroy it and thereby learning how to create within their realities.  If this doesn't resonate with you it may be time to update your participation agreement.  We can choose to participate in what we wish and choose not to participate in those things we do not wish.  It is a thought, a directive of focus that makes this so and an inoculation against the hooks of ego-gratification that pulls you seemingly unwittingly into the full force and effect of your participation agreements.  Disengaging any personal accountability for other's thoughts and feelings is an immunization against emotional tyranny, manipulation and control.  We are all accountable for our own experiences here and when we learn this, we will modify our participation accordingly.  And so it is this that has been a very long lesson learned with much struggle, resistance and ignorance on my part.  But now the truth has been revealed in the silence and stillness of my own core.  I don't have to participate any more in anything other than that I most wish to create in this world.  For me, it's peace, serenity, pleasure and love...promote healing and set out a lamp on the path for others who may be so inclined to follow the light into the depths of their own hearts.  It's a beautiful world and it's a beautiful life.  Thanks be to the Gods for my beach Elsewhere and here for on those sparkling tides within and without I have come to find truth - the truth I sought far beyond those termed universal, relative or provisional.  ~sigh~  May you find a measure of peace and truth as you make your way along the paths of your lives.  There are many lights to guide you...focus on those that resonate deepest within your soul and you will not be disappointed in your progress.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo is not mine but a random internet find).

I Want to Understand

When considering life in the global sense, what if we were to step back, way back, out of the construct of this frame work and view the schema that is this world with an omnipotent view? Suppose for a moment, that this place was designated as a place to experience any aspect of reality a soul wanted for no other reason than to learn from the experience. Suppose for a moment one could choose exactly the kind of experience one wanted in the complete absence of judgment. Suppose further that a soul selects other souls via learning agreements to carry out at specific places and times for the sole purpose of enriching other's souls. Suppose also that the only true law that existed was that honoring free will had pleasant consequences and disregarding free will had unpleasant consequences for a soul. 

Consider for a moment that there is no good or bad, light or evil but just a frame work a collective of souls agreed to create for the purpose of learning, improving themselves and understanding the contrast between what is considered dark and light but with the understanding that everything is a facet of a whole. It makes nothing okay that is not okay with a soul but say in order to fully immerse in the framework, one had to forget there was a framework. In this way and in this light, one could go fully under cover and live out the creation and experience as planned and say that when all is said and done, the souls who agreed to experience things together in a certain way for a period of time in space come back then to Elsewhere and determine their learnings and how it refined the essence of the perpetual soul. What if conflict and war, cooperation and peace were all part of the same whole and just facets of varying manners in which the whole could be experienced by souls? What would that mean and how might that change the way we judge and react to the things in this world? I ask these questions and have been asked these questions by trusted advisors and guides whenever I find myself in a judgmental place. I do not have any answers, just my own experience and many more questions and I will keep asking them and I will continue to go deeper and deeper until I understand. I want to understand. 

To me, there has to be more than this simplistic view we so readily hold day in and day out...over and over until the day we day.  Well, as a fact, I know it even if I cannot articulate specifically why...it is something in the soul that permeates every single thought that runs through my mind.  I am a natural observer of life and of souls who exist here now in this frame and those who I can feel just beyond it. There is so much more to life that we routinely allow ourselves to consider and for those who wish to know, the knowledge will be shared and continue to be available until a soul understands.  I no longer wish to remain asleep at the wheel...I want to understand.  I want to articulate what I feel in my soul and our judgment of this world and the paths of others is not needed...our understanding is if we wish to transcend the mundane aspects of this framework that we created.  Roll up your sleeves and let us get to the good stuff.  There is more, so much more to life and our existence and nothing else I say beyond this point will come across sane or cohesive and so I shall stop but only for now.  Blessings of higher love and infinite light shining souls. 

A Heartfelt Thank You

Thank you to those of you who have stopped by my blog off and on over these past many years.  Whether you landed here by accident and checked it out or you came purposely to have a look at my mental meanderings and sometimes crazy rants, I thank you.  One of the things I am most grateful for in this world is kindred spirits, those who share their thoughts and learnings and impart the wisdom hard fought and won!  I was inspired by many others to jump on the share band wagon just in case there was someone out there like me who loves to learn about the world through the eyes of the souls who inhabit this place.  So, this thank you is specifically for you...just for stopping by. ~Beautiful blessings of love and light to you and yours!  Pssst...pass it on...the blessings.  Yeah. :) <3  Oh and, Happy Friday!

Painting a Life Anew

I opened my eyes in the darkness and saw a few unexpected characters staring back at me:  4:00 am.  My mind scrambled to remember what day it was to quickly determine if I could nestle back into cool soft sheets and drift back into my dreams or if I had to rise and get ready for a busy day.  I quickly remembered it was the latter and not the former but I laid there in the dark gazing up at the ceiling for a few moments longer anyway.  I wished in that moment I could see the stars and so decided to get up and start moving, get myself downstairs to make coffee and step out side to see what I could see.  Moments later, with coffee in hand, the back patio door slid open and into the cool and darkness of early morning I went.  There was an electric anticipation about me, so palpable and well, I could actually hear the energy this morning (a strange and new sense that has developed over the past few months).  I sat down in my chair placed next to my beautiful purple daisies that glow even in the darkness and I looked up at the sky.  Saddened for a moment was I to discover a coastal blanket of clouds had obscured the view of my twinkling friends.  No matter, I thought to myself as I took a sip of warm bitter sweet coffee.  I collected my bearings a few moments longer and my thoughts of the events of late kicked in.

So many levels of understanding descends upon my consciousness and I see how my own mind betrays me at times by fighting to stick with old paradigms that I ultimately know are useless.  I stand firm in my own light in this moment and set my intent to let go of old thoughts that no longer serve me.  I relax again and think back over the emotions of the past few days.  There have been no significant events to speak of but rather memories that surfaced bringing with them strange emotions.  Sadness tried to rise to my consciousness and I realized again that was the old paradigm trying one last time to retain a stronger hold in my experience and I smiled there in the dark knowing that provisional truth ultimately holds no sway over me any longer.  I understand things in a different way today than ever before.  We create much in this world, so much and we don't question things enough.  We should question our own thoughts and emotions, test them for universal versus provisional truth much more often than we do.  I recalled the painting I began working on late last night.  I picked the deepest blue I had in my supply that I find is so beautiful, reminiscent of lapis lazuli.  Not knowing what I intended to paint, I filled the page with just that.  The color was so soothing and the tactile effort of each stroke sent joy through me for the simple act of creating.

Then I pulled out some more paints and before me a sundown sky scene began to materialize and while my paintings do not contain the expert realism that others do, the essence of my vision unfolds and will most definitely be felt.  I realized my work is my view, my expression and my creation.  It may never be understood or appreciated fully by others but this painting is not for anyone else but me...just like my life...I do not live it here for the pleasure of others.  I am here for the experiences I wish most to create and I have enjoyed every single experience I have created in this life so far.  I look back seeing the paintings of old, the stories and scenes that were my life.  I see the pictures from boredom I created.  I see the ones from fear I created.  I also see the ones from love that I created.  All the experiences are worthy experiences with not one scene ever truly wasted.  It is the collective of our experience we are after and we unwittingly seek most often to refine certain aspects of our creation and so we create the scenes again and again with new actors and tools and we experience the same things and wondering if we might have a different result.  It's funny, I think to realize how many times I've used the same colors, the same techniques and attempted to end up with a different painting.

So, this quiet time of morning finds me in good cheer.  Yeah, I did wake up way too early on my day off and I could still be sleeping but I'm grateful as I sit here watching the clouds turn from a dark gray directly above me to a slightly tinged pink in the East.  The sun, she comes and will brighten my day and my twinkling friends, oh, I'll see them tonight and toast them with a delicious glass of red, some classical music with deep and heavy notes on the violin and I will breathe in the lessons of the day and enjoy the things that I have learned.

Blessings of great love, rich experience and joy to fill your day with something exciting dear souls.  Your lives are so beautiful and painted so amazingly.  Find an aspect of them you most enjoy creating and create them again from a different perspective just for the fun of it, just for the joy of it and just for the opportunity to gain mastery over the tools at your disposal.  Heck, be really crazy for just a moment and create some new tools out of the old and watch in amazement at the new scenes you can create.  Much love and light!

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

Bloom

The summer solstice comes again and the longest day of the year shall unfold minute by minute before me.  Although this day shall be beautiful and filled with light on every level and dimension, I will secretly wish for the night and my dreams of Elsewhere.  So much have I learned of late...things that most in this world would simply misconstrue and misunderstand and I contend with the isolation those very thoughts bring.  I am resolved as I stand here in morning's first light knowing finally the reason an aspect of this journey is as it is.  There are times in life and even beyond, a soul should wish to know fully what they are capable of.  In the absence of assistance the soul strikes out seeking experience after experience to refine it's very essence.  And so it has gone in the energy of the dream that has been my life.  I look back a moment at all of my creations and I smile.  Even though I feel the joy and even when the recollections make me wince a bit, I am satisfied with all that I have created.  I didn't understand so many things along the way but now I see.  Its funny to me now all of the places I have looked for answers and not seen an ounce of truth that stared me in the face.  Even given tools to assist from my angelic family, I questioned and held tightly to the deeper parts of my sleeping journey.

So, here I am in this moment feeling so very grateful for the cool of the morning, for the diffused light cast across the sky by beautiful summer sunlight and coastal clouds.  I can feel the power of the energy from all of my lives coursing through my veins and extending so far beyond this vessel I now inhabit.  I recall this feeling from memories of all of the other lives I've held when I finally came to this level of understanding.  I am filled with joy and bliss as if I've found the greatest treasure in all of the world.  I've come back to my senses - not those this life has taught me to manufacturer but those that are of universal truth and not disputable on any plane that truly matters.  I came into this world for many reasons...one of which, to remember the strength in the endless well of all that I am...another, to find love in the most unlikely of places...and then simply to remember I was dreaming while deep in slumber for the sheer beauty of the realization and continual creation.

I will endeavor to taste every single moment of this day as if it were a rare and tantalizing delicacy.  Every moment we exist in consciousness is just that - rare and beyond words.  With my mind pulled out and expanded beyond this reality and into the next, and next, and next I am ultimately and completely at peace with me.  A rare treat for one who has expended so much energy to ensure everyone else was at peace with me -- I laugh now, so not my job.  When we find the core of ourselves and come to a place of full acceptance of every single thing we've done, and questioned, and attempted and we see the truth, not as others would have us believe but from the space of universal reality - something changes deep within and life takes on new meaning.  The reveal I've written about of late is to me what every moment of living is about.  I think we are all like beautiful roses.  The span of our lives stretches out over the time span of a rosebud becoming a full fledged bloom. When we are unfolding, it is so easy to become lost and wonder about the soil, are we pretty and is our fragrance amazing, or where are we and are we in the right place, or look at those roses, they are so much prettier.  When engaged in such thoughts we miss the powerful beauty of the energy of our own unfolding - our awakening to the reality of the existence that is rather than the existence we perceive.  There is a vast difference between the two.

I believe I am done with my crazy rambling for today.  I am filled with too much joy, love and wonder to continue.  I pray that you each find a measure of this joy and bliss as your lives so beautifully and perfectly unfolds.  Every aspect of your experience has merit and beauty.  Find a measure of wonder in your own existence, decisions and perceptions today...reach farther than the thoughts that limit you and embrace the ever expanding and infinite beauty of life and consciousness.  You are beautiful so go be beautiful. ~Blessings

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart, (Photo, random internet find)

The Impending Reveal

I love the clean slate of a brand new day.  One can forget all that has transpired for good or ill, reap the benefits of the lessons learned from days past and apply them as the world has made one more revolution on it's axis.  I find it interesting sometimes how things seem to stand still, exceptionally still, maybe way too still.  And that concept of stillness is actually ludicrous considering that our planet revolves fairly quickly as it spins and moves around the sun.  Everything evolves through its designated process, sheds what no longer belongs and emerges new and changed afterward.  There is this cocoon phase to everything it seems and our lives are really no different.  The problem is that I've always struggled with this part, just like how I struggle with winter each year.  Many love that time of death/rebirth but I never have.  While I can appreciate the season and it's time for rest and regeneration, it always seems to me to be the longest season there is.  That makes me laugh because it is all a matter of perception and perspective and those that I hold are not the truth.  So, as I sit here writing I realize as the seasons change from spring to near summer, there is this freezing, death and regeneration cycle happening for me on another plane of existence.  I am not quite sure what its for even though I know what created it. 

There is this sense of connection to everything and yet, at the same time, a complete disconnection from everything.  The dichotomy is a bit crazy making or, well, at least a bit confusing.  There are times in our lives where things just seem to stay the same no matter how many changes we attempt to make.  But again, the "seem" word conveys a perception.  There is nothing about this time in this incarnation for me that is staying the same.  Everything is in motion, everything is in upheaval and everything is coming to that very thin moment of ending-beginning.  I can feel it.  I hate the waiting part and would just like to get on with it whatever "it" is that is emerging but I know its futile to think such thoughts and so I laugh again at myself for thinking these things. I guess I have just so many questions at so many levels of existence and I'm eager to get this whatever it is behind me so I can reconnect and begin my queries and journey again.  I don't care for this feeling and I do not know why.  Perhaps it reminds me of the void - this place where my consciousness existed but nothing else seemed to for a few moments.  I do know and realize however, that the void had no true absence of light or motion. The Hermetic Principal on that one resonates deeply with me in that all is in motion, everything changes.  This is a fact in this frame as well as others.  As long as consciousness exists, everything changes and moves.  To me that means the whole of the universe, every thought, all the energy in this plane and others also moves and changes.  We can stand still in this frame and think we are really standing still but we cannot be...our minds/consciousness do not cease their movement, nor does the stop Earth spinning on it's axis orbiting around the sun.  The only thing that freezes is liquid in forms that when exposed to cold environmental temperatures changes its form but it never stops moving.

Funny about that very thought right there...exposure to environment and changing form.  Hmmm, now that thought will have me comparing, contrasting, researching and understanding for a little while to come.  Everything I have experienced in my environment up to this point in my life has been about changing my form.  I think a little about the subtle changes that occur to us humans the longer we traverse planet Earth.  We begin to fade, it seems from this dimension and we transform and change into something else.  The signs appear in our hair and our skin, our vision in this world changes as we begin to embrace another dimension...in this world we fade away...but we emerge Elsewhere...hmmmm, what a beautiful thought and now I am really smiling...so an adjustment in my own trajectory I now perceive and am suddenly released from this feeling of stasis...the gears begin to turn again in a new direction...and that direction emerges as I take steps...a little more revealed every day.  I feel like a kid the night before school starts in the fall (okay, I have freely admitted that I was a nerd).  I loved that first day so much.  I never knew what it would hold for me...good times or bad times, maybe in between times.  But it would be ultimately good and nearly almost always was.  So, off with me then into this beautiful day of life of love and of learning.  Blessings to you as your travel through your day today.  What new thought or thing will reveal itself magically to you today?  Get to it and go find out! :)

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

You're the Hero

How is it that we always seem to revert to the victim and villain mentality in which the only way out is the rescue by some selfless hero we can worship and adore?  Why do we humans resort to this impossible concept time and time again?  We look out at the world and we think, "Oh God, save us."  But the reality is that we created all of this through so many unaware actions, thoughts and fears we allow to run rampant within our own psyches.  There are no victims and there are no villains when you step back from the frame work you look at but clearly do not see.  We are taught the frame work exists as we see it but there is a backstory at play humming along in the background that we either resist with much fear or we contribute to with love. Sounds a bit simple doesn't it?

Life is sometimes like one of those illusion pictures.  You look at it one way and you see one thing but if you adjust your vision, relax and open your mind a bit the other picture begins to emerge at the very same sight you have beheld. So, those pictures are like a huge metaphor of life.  We look at things day in and day out and yet we fail repeatedly to see what is really there.  I can see easily how that can be with so many factions out there distracting our minds and hearts with ridiculous nonsense to keep us mired in the illusion and no, I am not a conspiracy theorist.  My line of thinking, while similar, couldnt be farther from that.  Conspiracy theories hold the truth at heart that there is something heinous going on and we must get very angry and upset, revolt and destroy those engaged in the illusion.  The funny thing is that to take such action, we merely engage in destroying ourselves.  You see, we are one.  We came into this world with a mass collective of agreements in which we wished to participate in to learn from, to try to transcend the small-mindedness of and to grow from.  Yet, when we manifest ourselves here in a body, we have hints of the collective agreements but agreed to forget so that we could lend realism to the play before us.  Just like putting on 3D glasses to make what we know is a movie appear more real.  We agreed to this and so we are here participating. 

Some of us who have been around the block a few times, so-to-speak, regarding experience with lives realize that in order to grow, we must find ways to push past the small-mindedness that we lean toward out of pure convenience.  We take the low road for expedience to get through a scene we find we don't like so much and we reach for things at the expense of others for myriad reasons.  We get lost in the realism when we engage in such tactics.  But, even that is part of our own life plans.  We create the dreams we find ourselves in.  We cannot hold "them" responsible and pray for the hero on the white horse to arrive right on time and just expect it to happen while in the meantime we hold fear, blame and loathing in our hearts.  When we create from fear, we produce more fear inducing scenes.  That's the unwritten law...well, one of many.  So, chalk this all up to spiritual mumbo jumbo but there is no one coming to save us or rescue us from ourselves.  The only way out, around or through is to stand up and take accountability for your own fearful and nightmarish creations.  Heal the fearful parts within you and push them from your sphere of reality.  Then, when you can hold love, logic and clearer vision in your hearts, you can create an energy within this framework that causes it to shift into higher vibratory existence.

The ascended masters have ascended and are not coming back to this plane to save you.  I'm sorry to tell you this but it is true.  But, that said, don't be disheartened.  These amazing souls who transcended the commonly understood frame work have left you wisdom and truth so that you can do as they did and rise above what you look at but do not see.  They left you the clues to unwrap yourself from the illusions of this framework and embrace the truth of an even greater framework.  They left you the tools of empowerment, they showed you the way and they left the light on for you so you could step up, embrace the relative truths instead of the provisional ones you were taught to hold.  The truth is out there...transcendence is not some flakey windchime people unattainable state - it's real and you can touch it, taste it and feel it if only you would work on eradicating the fear inside you knowing that the fear of death is silly because your consciousness goes on.  Who cares if they poison the water and the food - the way we allow ourselves to become addicted to things to make us feel better, we'll take ourselves out any way and then what?  We don't go to oblivion.  We live.  Immortality is absolutely real but just not in the way we think or we've been taught to think.  The clues that lead us out of the matrix are often purported to lead you into the lap of satan or worse, eternal damnation.  Oh goodness...if you were to open your minds and hearts and question what you see - look to the works and the words of the ascended masters and see the similarities in the themes - Look at the words left behind by Krishna, Buddha and Jesus alone and you'll see the same themes and if you open your mind and heart and look through the eyes of love, the truth has been staring you in the face all along.  "You can do as I do" are words they all shared in one way or another and yet we fall silly and all worshipy and believe ourselves unworthy.  You  see, that is part of the problem.  You're all heros made of the same stuff as those amazing souls that you worship and you can learn as they did if you would but open your minds, your hearts and your souls and embrace the truth of Source and find the love instilled within you to this end.  Do not discount yourselves so readily by thinking you are in need of rescue.  You are the hero you are waiting for so stand up and be heroic...stand up and be empowered by the light of love and contribute in nonviolent ways to support yourself, your brothers and sisters in this world and make changes for the better.  You can help heal the world but you have to start with you.

Throw off complacency and localized unaware thoughts.  Get rid of fear in your hearts.  Get rid of animosity, greed, selfishness and anger and open your minds to what you want most.  Step out of the darkness of blame and woe and find the light shining in your own sphere of existence.  Make changes.  Do something positive.  Believe in yourselves as the spark of divinity that you are.  Then you'll see changes.  Then you'll learn how to consciously create in the light of love.  Then you can rescue yourselves and save this world. There are additional laws that you will need to be aware of for your own good.  One big one is free will.  If you wish to avoid adverse events, emotion and energy for yourself, you must be impeccably honorable in terms of free will.  This means you cannot force a single soul to do what you think they should or stop doing what you think they shouldn't.  You are in domain control only of your own free will and your free will always ends where another's free will begins.  Shine the light for others and give your opinion if asked but do not force others to go down the roads you think are the right and only true roads.  This will mire you in darkness and confusion because your soul knows this law.  Live and let live.  Let people hold thier own beliefs, shine the light, hold a space of compassion and love and then let go.  We make great changes in this world by shifting the energy and aligning with the vibrations that support it.  When you cross the lines of free will you cannot maintain harmony and align with the positive energies in this world.  Disengage from manipulation and creating fear in others.  Disengage from victim and villain thinking.  Disengage from judgment.  Disengage from assuming only you know the way and the path.  Engage in empowering action first for yourself and then learn how to engage in this concerning others.  Be mindful of the present moment, your thoughts and their origins.  Test what is real versus which is fear inducing negativity for you.  Take time to focus on the state of your own path instead of focusing on the paths of others.  It was your desire for you to learn and grow here and not stand in judgment of others.  Although you contain a spark of divinity and you are learning to weild that you cannot hold the knowledge enough while mired in this framework to judge others and usurp their free will without grave consequences for you.  Get in touch with nature.  Get in touch with your soul.  Get in touch with this beautiful and amazing universe we exist in.  Feel it!  Once you realize just what it is you are connected to every day of your life, your thinking will shift naturally as long as you allow it.  You have free will and you can leave behind the victim/villain illusion and find the truth within you.  Until then, blessings for your journey and I hope you find the light so many others have left on for you to brighten the darkest parts of your paths.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

So it's Over, Now What?

So, it's over
Now what?
That thing you thought was everything
Whatever it was and whatever you thought it would be
It's over
So now what?
Will you lie there defeated, deflated and wounded?
Will you hate, seek revenge, sink to the depths of despair?
Will you calculate, seek to commiserate and drive the wounds in deep?
Are you the victim of a villain?
Are you a victim of circumstance?
What are you in this? 
Have you given it thought?
You look back at the days and weeks
But do you see what happened?
Do you truly comprehend the purpose of the experience?
You didn't want change did you?
You wanted to take this one thing and possess it, hold it there for eternity unchanged
Did you think that was reasonable or realistic to hold a thing static to appease your fears?
Really?  Was that a reasonable expectation to towards your serenity
In a world where everything is always in continual motion?
So, it's over
Now what?
Will you sort through the facts or hold to your provisional truths
So carefully created with environmental psychology?
Will you stand in the darkness?
If so, how long?
What will it take to propel you toward transcendence?
What will it take to reveal your own hand in your seeming undoing?
Think about it.
Things in this world do not happen to you randomly while you try to have a good time.
Things in this world you experience are created by you, for you
Either consciously or unconsciously
So, it's over
Now what?
Is it time yet to look again
And see what was really there in the absence of hate and fear or rejection?
Is it time yet to embrace the lesson you  just couldn't see?
Is it time yet to wake from your deep and dark slumber?
It can be if you want it to be
So, it's over
Now what?
Can you take the steps towards the light on your own two feet?
Can you realize you created the scene so perfectly?
Can you comprehend the bad thing can be a good thing in terms of your soul's growth?
You can but free will dictates that concept, that pure and beautiful action
Is entirely up to a matter of your choosing
You can remain mired in the darkness and like a black whole suck all the life out of
Everyone and everything around you to validate you, vindicate you from responsibility
Or, you can seek the deeper meaning, gain understanding and embrace the change
That was inevitable to bring alignment with your soul's truest desire?
So, its over
Now what?
Stand up, live, love and breathe...you are that powerful and nothing can take you down but you.

(c) 2009 Jaie Hart - photo is a random internet find...

Note:  From a new book in the works by Jaie Hart. :)

Indescribably Amazing

Life, with it's blazing array of colors, textures, scents and complexities is a whole lot more than we consider on most days.  It is no accident that we are here although some theories would like to postulate in prolific fashion otherwise.  If a soul were to sit very still and quiet for any length of time and let its energies expand outward into the proximity it finds itself and connect energetically to everything near it, it would have this resonating knowing deep within it that there is purpose to its existence.  There is nothing random about life at all.  Consider the sacred geometry that exists in plant life alone.  Can that really be an accident?  It's too pure and beautiful to be so in my mind but who am I to put such thoughts out there?  I am not college educated, I am not steeped in scientific knowledge nor do I profess to know the meaning of life.  What I am is comfortable in my own being and trusting of the knowing that comes from within my own soul.  If I forget completely about everything I've ever read, watched or learned...If I forget about the creation myths of religion and the various cultures around the world...If I forget all the counter-arguments about everything, my resonating knowing from deep within me remains steadfast and unchanged by anything ever written or told.  I'm satisfied with that.

When I step way back into the observer position and consider life, it is miraculously beautiful and perfectly designed.  Yes, I did say designed.  I do not believe with anything in me that we were an accidental coincidence of perfectly timed cells randomly introduced to extra terrestrial or terrestrial matter that some how evolved into what I see before me.  What I see before me when I look out into this world, backwards in time and even before me, I see a massive collaboration of cooperative agreements of and creation.  The cells within us self-create, our thoughts seem to self-perpetuate and well, there is us too and our ability to procreate.  Can this really be a random accident or convenient coincidence?  It's just to perfect and I just can't buy that.  You can show me all the scientific proof in the world, you can spell out for me all of the scientific facts, theories and postulations and you can even lay down at my feet all the religious texts in existence that are proof positive of creation and still, still I will not be swayed.  What I would see is nothing but provisional truth that cannot define nor change the real truth.

I may be completely crazy in my thoughts but one of the most important things I've learned in life is that I must immediately discount anything conveyed through man with an ego.  I don't mean to pick on gender.  I refer to both male and female of the species.  We are ill equipped to speak of anything without ego involved...even me so don't take my word for anything either.  I have come to trust my soul in my existence and its urgings and sensations more than any thought inside my head or any word that can be created.  My soul knows what my mind cannot.  There is a greater mind beyond the simple one we use to banter about ideas and egotistical notions.  This greater mind is the Source of all creation and yes, I do believe there was a Source that generated everything.  I find even the statement of "I believe" to be so limited in expression.  There is more to the sentiment behind those limited and simple words...there is this resonating knowing deep within my soul that goes beyond thought and my limited ability to reason with an ego that has been tainted by environmental psychology.  You can even analyze and consider that it must be some deep psychological need in me to believe in something bigger than myself and that I'm ignorant or misinformed for not buying into all of the things others have laid out before me.  It won't change the core of my soul's knowing.

I learned a while back that the conscious mind is a rather interesting thing.  When consciousness exists beyond the body's ability to hold it through normal functioning, one is left with this expansive feeling that cannot be shaken.  To know that when the body breathes its last breath and slowly fades from life and yet the greater connected mind holding pure consciousness continues on creating well, that is enough evidence for me.  First hand experience can be a beautiful thing if it is not judged.  Those that indicate the near death experience is not real and can be purely explained by science need to be reminded that their statements are mere conjecture based on a limited understanding of what we truly are.  But I don't need to prove that to anyone who has had a near death experience and returned to this world conscious and forever changed.  Those who have gone beyond the veil of illusion know the truth within their souls too.  So, life, well - it does have purpose and our experiences here are the real gold...the real treasures of this world.  The love that we learn to find and feel and send outward, yet another precious gem of existence worth by far more than all of the theories and rhetoric of right.  I can content myself with that and I do.  I love this life and I love this amazing opportunity to experience it with the views I allow myself to take in.  I love that we posses the ability to create in this world.  I love that we posses the indescribable ability to connect and deeply with other souls on this planet.  I love that we posses the ability to experience and then transcend conflict and energetic emotions that most definitely ensue.  Life is amazing.  We are amazing. The Source that thought us into existence by beautiful design is purely amazing.  I need more coffee and to get my day started.  I shall create a beautiful day with the four most amazing and special souls in my world, my beautiful children.  I pray your day is filled with all of the real treasures in this world and of this existence.  Be blessed!

(c) 6/12 Jaie Hart (Photo, random internet find)

Visions and Dreams

For those of you who do not put stock in visions and dreams, you may want to change your mind.  I want to tell you a little story.  One that isn't quite finished but is proof enough for me, a positive skeptic, that there is very good reason to hold onto your visions and dreams and to love the very idea and concept of them every single moment of your existence until they come to pass.  So, the story goes...

I'm a single mother of four kids with a cat, living a very normal existence (for the most part)  day in and day out from paycheck to paycheck.  It has been my reality for the better part of the last twenty or so years.  I met a wonderful friend very randomly a while back and we had many conversations about the law of attraction and how in order to make dreams and visions a reality, you had to come to a point where you are willing to surrender your disbelief, forget about the hows and technical aspects and just get into a very creative mode to establish what it is you most want.  The idea was to just put it out there, even if it's seemingly impossible and then do what you can to be open to the dream and vision and take the steps within your power to bring them into fruition.  If you can do these things, the universe will meet you and bring you the rest of the way.

My dream was a very simple one along the lines of one of life's basic necessities.  I just wanted something simple, a three bedroom home in Southern California where I and my family could live.  So, I created a vision board and just put my need/desire out there.  Money was so tight for me when I put this out there because of the expenses of living in Southern California.  It is near impossible to get ahead out here without very careful planning.  Unfortunately, planning ahead was something I had never been able to do.  A little over three years ago, I created my dream and wrote down the specifics of it.  Even as I wrote it, I struggled so hard to remove the doubts.  The only barrier for me was coming up with a down payment.  Unfortunately, I had accumulated so much debt living paycheck to paycheck that coming up with a down payment was a huge barrier that I could see no way to overcome.  I had to make some sacrifices, big ones in order to set myself up in a position to where I could actually start working toward the goal.  I established a five year plan to get out of debt and I'm 3 years in with just under two years to go and I'm seeing beautiful results and am now starting to get excited. Some of the things I had to do was sacrifice living in a big beautiful home I was renting and squeeze us into a very tiny, no room for anything, town home that was very reasonably priced in comparison to where we were.  I also had to commit to cutting most unnecessary spending and creating a budget that we held to no matter what.  These things coupled with some additional tough decisions and financial planning helped us ready ourselves for the ultimate dream.

Now, the housing economy has just gone bonkers these past many years and the super high prices that were also cost-prohibitive for us have tumbled way down to where the actual costs of the homes were becoming a bit more reasonable.  I got excited when this happened because it started to reinforce the fact that there was a way for my dream to become a reality.  I started to be able to pay off a few of the debts a little more quickly than planned which allowed me to start saving a little money but I hadn't given any serious thought to taking any further actions to making the dream come true.  I've taken some steps and lined up the right people to help me with technical things when I got ready and would check in with them from time to time.  I happened to be checking home prices over the weekend and realized from somewhere deep within me, now is the time...the dream is at hand.  So, I checked into a few things that might help me with a down payment.  Thank God for 401K loans!!!!  So, it turns out that between savings and a loan, I will have my down payment within ten days from today.  I also have my wonderful friend in the mortgage industry who tells me he thinks I can do it now too and as soon as my loan goes through, I'll be able to put through the pre-approval for a loan.  Then another friend, an agent, has given me some advice that will help put some money back into my savings so I won't be without a little reserve when everything is said and done.

I'm sitting here this morning elated realizing the dream, the one I wasn't entirely convinced would happen but the one I remained open to and took steps towards is at the brink of arrival into my reality.  I'm so happy about this.  In just a few short weeks I'll be out looking for homes and I know that as far as I've come, there is no stopping me now.  The right home, in the right area at the right price will reveal itself to me when the time is right.  Me, all I have to do is show up now and do the work I need to do to wrap this up.  Since I'm still a couple years into my five year plan, I've got a few thin years to go but then after that period is done, I will be in a much better place and the beauty is, in five years from now, the big chunk I've borrowed from myself gets paid back and I've set it up so that I can make extra payments on it on the side so I can pay it off even quicker!

For me, this is just amazing.  I just never realized before the power of positive thinking in action with a very simple dream.  I don't need anything extravagant, just something simple that meets my requirements and it looks like I'm almost there.  I have the patience of a saint with these things and am well aware of the market conditions so know that patience is needed.  For me, I fully understand this particular journey and that a relaxed and positive approach is needed here on out.  Now, I did have other visions and dreams on that vision board and I'm going to resurrect each one with vigor.  My disbelief had me disregard all but this one dream and now it is about to manifest and now I know the rest will too.  I shall dust them all of and pull them back into the light where they belong and do the very same things with those dreams and visions I did with this one that comes to fruition a little more each day.  I'm more than half way through the tunnel of planning I set in motion three years ago and am seeing the light at the end shinning so much more brightly than ever before.

I share my story because I want you to know that visions and dreams and the process of making them reality is not some metaphysical new age hocus pocus.  Our thoughts, feelings and words do in fact have incredible power and the more energy we put behind them, the more powerful we make them.   A suggestion also is to surround yourself with people who will help you make your dreams a reality and be one of those souls who help lend the positive energy for others to realize their dreams.  I find it is a wholly rewarding experience at so many levels.  Create the concept of what you most want in this world, think of it positively every day, design the steps that you can take to help you get there, take those steps and don't believe for one moment you will not have your dream.  You will if you want it and put enough passionate and positive energy behind it as you can.  I was a skeptic but I always knew the power of thoughts and the energy behind words.  I just never really took the time to put these concepts into practice for the things that I most needed.  Now I know.  I hope you do too.  Blessings for your journey dear souls and lots of positive energy and wishes for your hopes and dreams!  May they all come true in every regard.

(photo/random internet find)

Path to Know-Where

Oh sometimes the routine of life can feel a bit futile and vexing!  But, those are only superficial emotions generated by an ego that feels it has not been given enough attention.  So, I'm grateful as my ego needs to learn to sit back quietly, with less chatter and watch as my soul drives through this part of life.  The scenery is quite interesting, I must say.  Roads I think I've seen before have taken on different meanings.  The things once so important now are less so as I go.  The things I never noticed before seem to come more sharply into view.  The blaming has all but left me as any impetus for thought and instead full realization of the ultimate self-accountability for the creation of all of the situations in my life takes hold.  This feels neither good nor bad, but it just is what it is.  The soul in charge is more of an observer than a driver however it does kick into pole position when the ego is off-track.  I love that and I also love that I have some how gained the ability to listen.

I see this world around me and I wonder at all the intricacies and messages and so many levels and the way it gives my life dimension in the various planes of existence.  The ethereal side to my visions have subsided but the disappointment was very thin as I soon discovered my dreams were becoming more vivid and easily remembered upon awakening.  It's so interesting how the mind works and shifts gears in very important ways to help ensure a soul has balance.  I  go through my days as if I'm an auditor, looking for certain trends in performance and measuring against some random standard that's been set in the back of my mind and no, not for the sake of judgment.  Rather, the measuring phase is about understanding what drives the spikes and what the spikes in themes and experience mean.

No more do I wander through the world taking comfort in the obvious, material and superficial.  I slowly turn away from the world knowing full well that it will run just fine without my constant participation in the happenings out there.  I turn deeper within to feel and experience everything at a different level for no other reason than the auditing and measuring I've done indicates I've not spent enough time developing certain intangible aspects of my being and my living.  The ego tries so hard to take the reigns from time to time but it can't successfully do so because it doesn't have a firm enough basis in reality...the ego is not real but is an imagined challenge we created to keep ourselves in check.  How boring would life be if we didn't sometimes have a dichotomy inside our own heads to sift and sort through?

Spirituality leads you to some interesting places.  I've noticed the path moves ahead in leaps and bounds only to double back, twist and turn to revisit places I've already seen or thought I had.  When the path turns back there is this feeling of loss and like, "what didn't I get" or "what did I do wrong that I must go back and see this same stretch of road again?"  But then my ego forgets about dimension.   It is one thing to see with the eyes and quite another to see the same stretch with the heart or the energy body.  Understanding occurs once we've experienced something with all of our senses and sometimes going back in memory alone is insufficient and so, we seem to call to us similar situations with little changes and refinements to experience something yet again but at a deeper level.  I finally get that, I think and am no longer in a state of blaming myself for missing something.  I didn't miss anything at all but an opportunity to see something with different senses and from varying perspectives.  This realization alone is so liberating because I begin to fill like a much less stupid student on the path of life and instead feel as if I'm one beginning to get the lessons.

So, I find a time comes where I detach from the path itself.  The path and forward moving progress was something only my ego needed in order to feel good about itself.  The reality is, I've always felt good at heart, always positive, curious and willing to remain open despite the things I've encountered and then contemplated shutting down as a result.  I'm stronger than that and the lessons grow more difficult in this dream and I find that fascinating and with this fascination I look again at the lessons and I see that strangely, they are not so difficult at all and in fact are really growing easier in the scheme of things.  It just strikes my funny bone today for some reason.

Now I look around and ahead and I see the path stretched out again and I smile from inside knowing the path isn't really there at all.  I am the path, I am every twist and turn, I am the creator of impetus, motion and velocity.  I am the strangers I meet, the sun that shines and the rain that falls and cleanses everything.  My search comes to an end at the point the emptiness took hold of my consciousness and for a few brief moments, I felt I was grieving and then shortly thereafter, this stream of infinite thought, data, feeling, existence filled the emptiness like a down pour of rain in beautiful energy and light.  I'd be lying if I said I consciously understood because I don't but the soul of me knows this is the way, this is the path that leads home and if I'd never engaged in the path at all, I'd still have found the destination because it was within me all along.  We are both the journey and the destination...we are an integral part of the All of Everything seeking to shatter the illusion of our separateness.  Hmmm, well, I'm going to let these thoughts trail off and fade to the background music that plays continually inside of my head.  The new direction is nowhere.  I can't stop laughing.  It's beautiful.  ~Blessings for your journeys dear ones.  May you find the joy, peace and happiness of your own existence in this amazing dream.

(Forgive the typos and grammatical challenges.  I don't usually type stream of consciousness into my blog but have today and plan to leave it as is.  (c) 6/12 Jaie Hart - Photo/Random internet find).