There is a final part to this and this is perhaps the most important. If you’re getting the message and still the bad behavior continues and you really don’t want to participate, that’s where you have to choose your own side and set a boundary to protect yourself. The best way to do that is to step off the battlefield or seek the appropriate assistance with processing what is happening and making the best choices for you. Healthy detachment is when you arrive at a place where you know what “stuff” in an interaction is your “stuff” and what “stuff” in an interaction belongs to another. Set boundaries. Participate only in what you wish to participate in and do so gladly whether that means stepping further into discussion or stepping off the battlefield entirely. Know that you were put here to be no one’s door mat. Sometimes some people behave so poorly that the only way you can hear your own inner messages on whatever it is they brought up for you is to get away and spend as little time as possible with that person. Set a boundary around what you will or won’t participate in.
In closing, truly for your own sake and benefit, you must let go of the idea that you have the power to change another’s behavior. Healthy detachment means that you truly understand that you have power only to understand and control your own behavior, make your own choices for your own ideals. No other can be accurately judged by your standards, perceive exactly the way you do or contain within the exact same messages for life lessons that need learning like you do. Healthy detachment means that you allow yourself the authenticity to feel how you feel, think before you act or react and that you choose then what you will or will not participate in. It is work and hard work sometimes. The malware that runs rampant within our sense of self-needs to be right, validated and vindicated and thinks it can control others. This is an illusion.
If you like this post, you might enjoy some of the concepts in my books. You can visit my website at: