Saturday, May 5, 2012
There are just those times in life that you command the ability to tune in very clearly to your own soul. Most of the time we are unaware and don’t care to think of such things but sometimes it can be as important as breathing air. Sometimes that “tuning in to the authentic self” can be quite revealing and show you things that you just couldn’t see. Things and plans and even people can change in terms of how you perceive them and so can your own actions. At times the things that seem most important turn out to be the tools for learning and when the lesson is learned, there comes a time for solitude, separation and quiet time for the sole (soul) purpose of pure and unadulterated contemplation. I’ve run across such times periodically throughout my life and find myself in such a situation now.
There are things I thought I wanted and then once I achieved them, an empty aching took over my soul. I paid attention to those inner feelings and I was lead to greater understanding of some things, at least in terms of me, my own life and my own purpose. I am a gentle and very sensitive soul and sometimes find that I tune out way too many things that I really should be paying greater attention to. But, I just didn’t know what was happening in my own being. I know now but that doesn’t help much in terms of the things I had previously created and because of those creations pain has ensued. It’s not a bad thing, pain underscores our lessons sometimes in order that we might really remember them. It’s okay in the end even when it truly doesn’t feel okay. Time and patience, more gentleness and understanding will bring the lesson home. Sometimes that means letting some things go that might stand in the way of true understanding such as limited thoughts and beating one’s self up for not seeing things.
I stand quietly in morning’s first light giving thanks to the All of Everything – the Source, the impetus of thought that created me into being in this hologram and framework called life. I am nothing more than a thought experiencing its own reality for the sheer purpose of the experience itself. The colors, the images and the emotion all have purpose regardless of which form they take in terms of manifestation in my awareness. But, I can dream and have learned that I can create within this dream. Nothing is lost and everything matters even still if actions desire consequences. Sometimes things are as they are so other things can come to be as they were meant to be. Soul searching I gaze up at patchy clouds letting in a blue and pink tinged sky. The sun makes her seeming ascent (it’s really only the world turning) and I stand here feeling the dichotomy of very small and insignificant along with incredibly vast and very powerful. It’s interesting to feel both at once but everything has purpose – every inkling in our souls, every tinge of sensation in our bodies and every thought in our minds.
I breathe in the cool morning air and feel a solemn sensation – a seriousness of life but when I dig a little deeper, I scratch the surface of bliss for the beautiful energies in this life I have experienced. Bliss, a connected moment yet again – I find I am feeling beyond all measure of gratitude for every soul, every word and every experience in all of my lives and not just this one. The ones to come, I’ve had a sense of as well. An interesting sensation and visuals, I must say. But, enough of such thoughts for now. I would really enjoy another cup of creamer with a little coffee in it (smiles) and I need to get a lot of things done today to find time to play. I’ve got two little girls much in need of a picnic in the park and I so wish more than anything to give them the most joyful visit they’ve had so far. It will be beautiful and I can’t wait. I embrace this day. I embrace every action I have ever taken. I embrace every thought that has ever crossed my mind. I embrace every emotion I have ever called into existence for me. I am truly blessed.