Wednesday, December 9, 2009
So, serenity was in fact a fleeting illusion for a couple of days but I really did enjoy it. The stress of the day had my blood pressure up as I stared out the window wishing, plotting and planning an escape…yeah, just get in the truck and drive as far as the ATM card will take me! Nah, just playin. There is no escape from the things that are inside of you and I noticed the very thing I noticed the day before—resistance. I was in an uncomfortable place and I was resisting where I was at. Why? Well, that’s easy, deadlines and more work than one soul can do in an 8 hour day and in the absence of lots of over-time, no way to catch up any time soon. What that further means is that I will get no sense of accomplishment for awhile…treading water in a sea of paper and emails. But, I chose this path and there are just days like these so what then? Well, time to get back to that feeling I had with the rain pouring down—acceptance. Ever heard of the Serenity Prayer? In summary – Accept the things you cannot change, change the things you can and have the wisdom to know the difference.
I love that line. It’s on my refrigerator in the form of a magnet that sits right underneath a mirrored one that says, “dream.” Things I like to remind myself of every morning when I go to grab some delicious creamer to pour with a heavy hand into my first cup of coffee. I stand there for a few minutes every day and read both magnets and realize why I bought them…to put more positive thoughts into a very busy life that can tend to feel a little oppressing with responsibility at times. But, there are the weekends and those days are filled with creativity—picture taking, writing volumes of poetry and working on my new book, “Star Gazers.” Someday I will write full time and focus more attention on giving more to the world but for right now, I’m focused on my job and doing it well. That means something to me. It doesn’t matter what I do as long as I give it my all and find some way to gain a sense of accomplishment. Some days that sense of accomplishment can only be tied to successfully treading water for a day. I have a snorkel in my office to remind me that even if my head goes under, I’ll still be able to breathe! LOL
Oh well, what would life mean without all of the challenges we face? I don’t think perfect serenity day in and day out would be appreciated as much without days of turmoil and chaos to contend with. Like we appreciate light more when we also notice the dark that defines it. We’re like that, we notice our bad points or our good points more on some days but the thing is, our light and dark sides give us perspective, character and lots of fodder for really big thoughts on life if you’d like to let your mind go there. Some days I focus on the good, others on the bad and when I focus on the bad I shift my perspective to one of understanding. When we understand instead of resist what we have before us and we cannot change those things we’re trying to resist…understanding and accepting is the only place to go to keep from driving yourself mad.
So, well, rambling thoughts tonight. I’m grateful I can still string a semi-coherent sentence together so there is THAT for accomplishment. I’m tired now…one more day this week and that’s it…3 days off…Nice. I hope you all have a wonderful evening.