Friday, December 25, 2015
Oh this season of change never ceases to amaze me. Every day a new surprise to contend with whether a lesson in greater love or something on my path that challenges my ego to the point where I am unsure whether I’m laughing at myself or crying. Ultimately, my senses come to me and I laugh out loud sometimes at how my own ego becomes insulted over this thing or that thing. But I noticed something else. Today more than ever I am curious to my very core. I am curious about every single reaction I have to what I face and I am absolutely fearless to look at the darkness within me that keeps me attached to things that bring more challenge. My spiritual ego towards self-understanding life lessons is very big. I understand this. I'm okay with this.
These experiences I have chosen to have in this life are stunning. You would not believe it if I told you about all of the things in my life that I have unconsciously created and no doubt there will be a bit of that continuing. However, I now have the tools that will give me pause to consider all of that which I feel I must react to. That core level reaction becomes the trigger not just for some half-baked ignorant action and its resulting emotion these days. There is that but there is also this trigger to delve much deeper into self reflection which I know must follow. It has become as strong in me as the need to react because now I know these reactions come from my own attachment to things, situations or themes.
I do not beat myself up any longer for attachment to themes because they represent my path which is only those experiences I created for learning. Only now, consciously, I realize I wish to create differently because I wish to learn differently but caution is needed because even that is an attachment. If I really give it thought from a much deeper place, a place of no thought, I know, I see and I understand that its time to simply just be, to allow and to accept relinquishing all of my illusions of control. There is no controlling anything. There is action in this world and reaction, cause and effect. But if you change the cause; you change the effect.
To my very cells and bones do I reset yet again my intent to allow all that came before me to be and to heal as I breathe deeply into this moment simply following the breath in the present where I now dwell. This is the place I have longed to be regardless of the pull my ego has on me and the pulls I heed for some experience or another. I just notice them, seek understanding and reflect with more of a peaceful allowance than ever before.
These tools I speak of are not simple and yet they are not difficult either. Complex in nature and multi-layered they are and I’m talking about yoga and mindfulness. Two simple things. Yoga means union. Mindfulness as I use it means awareness of thought and action without judgement. Practicing these things I learn to see differently, to feel differently and to love more gently - self and others as I experience life. Do I stumble and fall still? Do I fail still? Do I screw things up at times? Sure I do. Every single day and it makes me laugh all the harder. It doesn’t matter that we fall or fail. What matters is what we choose to do next. The revelations wait for your readiness to receive. When you open your heart fully to the Universe and its infinite wisdom, the amazing things that pour into your consciousness is just delicious and beautiful…that precious peace between sounds and that wonderful stillness between action and steps is so full with a vast expanse of everything-ness of which we are all part.
© 2015 Jaie Hart (photo/words)