Sunday, April 7, 2013
Choices in Human Interactions
Our emotional focus dictates the whole of our experience. It would not be fake or falsely authentic to choose not to entertain in focus the denser emotions we experience in life and instead choose to seek understanding and meaning in those things that we face. Sometimes our thoughts about certain interactions fly lightning speed through our consciousness and out of pure habit we attach emotions that result in our feeling out of sorts, sad, angry or disappointed. If we focus on the true origin of those thoughts without blame or finding others to hold accountable for how we feel, we can begin to dispel the illusions we hold as truth. It’s an impossible leap in consciousness to do this for so many, but only seemingly. We struggle at times with behavior that conflicts with our own and we naturally judge those around us by what we would or would not do but the ego forgets that it’s version of reality isn’t necessarily common understanding. Every life is shaped by the path a soul has taken and no two paths are exactly the same and so the assumption of common understanding may not always bear out as you think it should. In truth, you can come to common understanding only if or when you endeavor to validate another’s understanding first hand by direct communication. In the absence of that, we may be foolishly and pointlessly driving ourselves mad with frustration, sadness and a whole host of other feelings we do not find pleasurable.
Sometimes we take inadvertent things as premeditated insult or other emotional injury. We may be lying to ourselves about the truth and the bigger question is why. Why would we do this? Most simply put, it’s easier and we know no other way. Once we learn another way we may be able to understand the wisdom but something in us wants to see only the insult and injury and fight to have someone else recognize our station or place as important or to be respected with care. But I wonder, if we already knew that we were in good stead in our own minds, we understood our significance on Earth and we respected ourselves, would we even care so much if no one acknowledged us? Do we really understand the potential emotional danger of placing the power for creating our own happiness so easily in someone else’s hands? If we only ever depend on others to create feeling in us, not only do we give our power away entirely but we continually set ourselves up for disappointment not to mention the heavy burden we unwittingly place on others to carry emotion for us. We don’t do it intentionally I think but just out of habit again, because it is easier and we don’t know any better.
What would happen if we became accountable citizens of planet Earth charged with loving and forgiving or appreciating ourselves and feeling good about that without acknowledgement? What if from that frame of reference we sought to understand first if someone intended insult or emotional injury to us before we reacted? If we understood why something occurred in the complete absence of assumption and confirmed the truth, how differently might we be able to act in a situation as opposed to reacting? Again, I know this is a huge leap for most to make but I think if you asked yourselves whether or not you were happy with continual conflict born of assumption related to human interactions with others, you may at some point desire to find a different way to interact... A way that doesn’t let people exhibiting bad behavior off the hook but instead teaches you how to discern the truth before you choose to engage your emotions definitively in line with an insult or injury taken. Often times, insults and injuries are inadvertent and most reasonable citizens of planet Earth would apologize for a slight if it was brought to their attention. In the act of communication we free ourselves from illusion whether positive or negative and learn how to deal with facts and respond to them consciously as opposed to reacting to them negatively. Some conversations are difficult to have and may cause a fair amount of anxiety in advance. However, the same anxiety and even worse may come from not communicating, making assumptions and lining up emotions with what you perceive which may not be the truth in any way, shape or form. Until you become very aware of your body and energy systems, you cannot begin to know the truth of a thing by feeling alone. You must learn how and it takes time…sometimes, lifetimes. So, I suggest always that you don’t give away your power by making others responsible for how you feel and that you refrain from automatically engaging in negative thoughts born of assumption or perception alone if you do not prefer those aftereffects. It takes time to break habits and natural tendencies but they can be broken and you can begin to watch your own mind for the assumptions that you make about everything. As Byron Katie suggests in her book, “I Need Your Love. Is That True?” begin to question your own thoughts if you don’t like the continual conflict ridden outcomes of your human relations.
I’ve written about this topic so many times because I have watched helplessly as so many suffer needlessly from this pain. But even that is a judgment in my own mind. Perhaps some souls need to hit rock bottom and become so frustrated with this repeating theme in their lives that they seek a way out and try to learn different ways for relating to resolve conflict at its source rather than relying only on assumption or perception. When we can remove illusions from our field of vision or experience, we can begin working with the truth and learn how to find and then stand within our own light. When we can do this, our existence is improved, our human interactions are improved and the rippling waves of energy from this is ultimately positive for you, those around you and even the rest of the world, believe it or not. This is just some food for thought tonight. I pray that your human relations are filled with truthful communication, heartfelt and honest exchanges in order that they uplift you, bring you joy and help you heal always. So much is truly up to you and you truly are infinitely empowered to seek understanding, peace and positive interactions. When we take accountability for understanding our interactions with others through our own motivations, it is quite an enlightening experience. Blessings of love and light dearest souls.
(c) 2013 Jaie Hart (photo from google images, source: http://www.businesschicks.com.au)