Shine On

And the moon did shine

It's company a great comfort

It was there the day I arrived on this Earth

And I'm grateful for it's return 46 years to the day

It's been a long haul, this last year it seems

So many big lessons in life

So much joy and also, there was pain

Emotions do not define the whole of me though

and my emotions that rise and fall like the tides

Are as much a creation in my life as everything else

So what then will this next year hold

I don't know, I just don't know

But I'm grateful that it does not hold the past

From there I have come and gone

And now I stand here in this moment

Under the stars, gazing at my friend the moon

Oh the secrets I've told the moon

A treasured friend who won't ever tell them

It'll just shine back at me and remind me to do the same

Shine on...yeah...~sigh~

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo/words)

Explore

If I could have one wish come true, there'd be a certain soul walking simply by my side, hand in hand taking in a view somewhere we'd much appreciate.  But wishes and dreams are sometimes for naught and well, it isn't necessarily a bitter thing that leaves a soul grieving.  Some times in our lives things are so impeccably perfect and we just have not learned how to see it.  So, well, instead my birthday wish is for the happiness of someone else and I placed that wish among the stars last night where they will be willingly retrieved with the next glance up under them from a soul far away.  And, so, I go about my day today with a smile and some emptiness within that is a beautiful thing.  For it is only that which is emptied entirely that can be truly filled.  I have emptied my soul in months gone by and it was a beautiful exercise - a true labor of love.  It did not make me smile always but it did give me great hope and a much greater sense of true soul purpose that my efforts would bring about change and a new desire for growth and learning from deep within my being.  I will stand under the full moon tonight, not as a lost lonely soul but one filled with hope, reinvigorated dreams, perhaps a tiny trace of sadness but with so much love.  The universe has promised to fill my soul and all I have to do is dream.  And, so, dream I shall every day never caring a bit if my feet never touch the Earth.  The skies are my home, the stars are my friends, the light and darkness the comfort and protection I most desire and the shadows, blessed beautiful shadows, they will point me from my precious starlight to new an interesting destinations and I, I will be more than glad to explore.  And, so, off I go.  Blessings for your journey!

(Photo - random internet find)

With All the Words

Beannacht / Blessing

On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.
And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you,
may a flock of colours,
indigo, red, green,
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
in the currach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.
And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.”
― John O'Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom

***Anam Cara - now I see...<3 :=":" i="i" nbsp="nbsp">

Birthday Wishes and Constellations

Nineteen years ago, Ronald Emil Haug walked this Earth.  You wouldn't recognize the name unless you knew him and to most, he might have seemed unimportant.  But to me, he was the most important man on the face of this Earth.  Today would have been his 67th birthday.  But he left this plane of existence just short of 19 years ago on September 14, 1993.  He was a lot of things to different people but to me, he was everything - my hero, my coach, my champion and in my teenage years, my antagonist but it was all for good and everything about our relationship was absolutely perfect.

One of the things I miss most about him is the talks we used to have on hot summer nights sitting on my grandmother's porch.  Dad would point out the constellations and talk about how absolutely ridiculous it was for scientists to believe we were alone in the universe.  He thought of the universe as infinite and with infinity there are no limits to possibilities.  He used to share with me his stories of UFO's throughout his life and he was very interested in Project Blue Book (I think there was a show by this title somewhere in the 70's or 80's).  He wouldn't speak of evolution or creation.  He thought they were both ridiculous.  He believed that originally we were deposited by our friends from the stars.  He always said he thought it would just be too random for life to develop to our level of sophistication from cells brought by water from a stray asteroid and if you mentioned the bible he'd look at you with this "just don't even get me started" expression. 

He never spoke of the Sumerian texts so I don't know if he knew about them but I'm willing to bet he would have loved Zacharia Sitchen's work in interpreting them.  It would have given him the validation he sought that we are not alone and that we came from the stars.  I smile as I think about all of those conversations.  They might have seemed silly to most but to me, they inspired in me the real need to push limits in thinking and to discount what we have been taught by main stream media and schools and to really just think for myself and take no one's word for anything.  He taught me to research and study those things that interested me and that I could be and do anything that I truly wanted to be and do.  Never once did he ever try to tell me a woman's place was barefoot, pregnant and continually cleaning a home.  I wanted to be an astronomer when I was young and then it changed to an archeologist and he always supported me. 

Life took me in a different direction and he supported me when I got myself a good corporate job, married and gave birth to my oldest daughter.  He would call me at work sometimes and ask if I'd like to stop by his house for lunch and he'd make me my favorite sandwich.  I loved that man more than I loved life but our lives were so hectic I never really got the chance to tell him.  I know he knows now so I have no regrets and I feel him often when I'm out under the stars hearing him name the constellations...Orion and the way it points to Sirius was always a favorite.  I can see that constellation right outside my door right now.  That's what inspired me to write this little work of remembrance for someone so special to me and on the anniversary of his arrival here on Earth.

Our relationships here on Earth matter much.  Realize that every single one is meant to teach you about life.  My father died at age 48.  Just two years older than I am now.  He was too young to die but having raised both of his children, he considered himself done and returned home.  Although I miss him, I support his leaving just as he supported me in all of my endeavors.  The pain I feel when I think about it doesn't last long.  The moment I miss him even just a little...the moment I shed a single tear...it quickly fades and is replaced by a smile.  Imagining seeing him free elsewhere to roam and explore existence, brings me great joy.  He is safe and so loved and always will be.  Happy Birthday dad.  Much love always!

(c) August 30, 2012, Jaie Hart (Photo, very fortunate google images find)

Hope

I watched familiar constellations rise this morning shortly before the sun.  Jupiter was high in the sky and Venus soon followed.  It was so quiet and still, the coolness of the night bringing a wonderful contrast to yesterday's heat.  My thoughts went out to friends in the Southern U.S. and the challenges they will face today.  I've been praying for days Isaac spends his strength out over the gulf rather than upon making land-fall.  I know many others were working right along side of me.  I pray our efforts pay off and that our friends in the south are safe and bear through this storm with minimal effect.

There are always storms on multiple fronts in life but one of the beautiful things we do most definitely have the pleasure to enjoy is those who will stand beside us helping us even in thought to weather the storms we encounter.  At some level, there is nothing more important than throwing all of your heart and wishes into the strength of others in the hopes they make it through life's challenges.  We can't always help directly, nor can we interfere but we can hope the blows are not as painful and we can be there to help pick up the pieces if need be.

This world is filled with many a good soul and I see them fight every day to dispel the negativity, fight the adversity and manage the daily challenges of life.  I'm proud to stand with those who strive to make a beautiful difference in this world in thought, with prayers and in action.  We are truly all in this together.

It isn't only the most recent storm that weighs on my mind but the tragedies that strike all over the world.  At times our existence here on this planet is quite tenuous.  I think of our friends down south of the border here in California and the shaking ground they've had to contend with for quite a long time now.  How can one find a sense of comfort and security with the ground continually shaking under your feet?  My heart goes out to them.

The reality we often forget or take for granted is that we are on a giant rock, spinning on it's axis in orbit around the sun.   The core of our rock is molten and continuously churning and moving and the motion reaches the surface and conditions on the surface can create all manner of natural activity that can threaten life.  Then there is the wholly damaging man-made activity for one stupid reason or another and I just can't abide by that.  I don't believe in war, in greed or causing harm in this world.  In fact, I wish more that we find a way to bring comfort to those suffering at the very least if we cannot control Mother Nature, Shaking Ground, Volcanic Eruptions and ridiculous War and Violence. 

It's a challenging world that we live in and while we will not always see it's beauty nor appreciate our purpose and place in this space-time-existence, we can at least take comfort in knowing that there are those out there standing in thought or in spirit - there are those out there taking action to bring about change - and there are those who wish to soothe the pain.  Sometimes it may not seem to be enough but I'm grateful for hopeful and healing hearts!  ~Blessings of comfort, safety and strength to all of those facing challenges real or imagined.  May your God or Goddess watch over and protect you.  If it suits you, please join me in prayer and positive thought for those facing life and death situations today.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart, (photo, via google images)

Slowly Sunday

A strange occurrence this morning when I opened my eyes was daylight streaming in through my bedroom window.  It's a strange occurrence because normally when I wake up, it's dark out still.  A little disappointed that I missed seeing the stars, I laid there a few moments and let it go.  My mind begins to kick into full swing upon awakening and I feel this expansion of thought not long after opening my eyes.  Perhaps it is no sudden expansion at all but rather a continuation of thoughtful things I brought back with me from the land of dreams.  Regardless, its peaceful, serene and hopeful as always.  I arose slowly still feeling the blissful comfort of repose and I sat up making sure I was really awake.  A familiar thought beckons my attention...coffee...yes and I went about making some.  The morning is a gorgeous one I noticed as I looked outside.  A pale blue sky in morning's light with gentle coastal clouds crawling gently across it.  Their motion seeming so smooth and gentle resonated a similar feeling deep within my soul.

The simple things in life bring me great pleasure.  An easy Sunday morning moving slowly with no plans or places to rush off to, nothing that absolutely has to be done and I am appreciative immeasurably as these facts begin to dawn on my waking mind.  Have you ever walked through a dark night of the soul and been through the stages of once again finding the light, walking all the way into it and feeling that overwhelming sense of joy for having made it through?  That is the feeling that I have this morning.  There was no protracted sense of dark night for me at any time lately but I do recall such a place from far back in my memory and I do recall that feeling of pure joy for having made it through.  Perhaps it is an unwillingness to forget the contrasting emotions that brings me such peace.  Finding the light in darkness always feels like a miracle to me and when you hold onto the light every day, that same sense of joy remains.  I'm really grateful for that.

The soul needs time, sometimes, to feel its way through life.  The typical reactionary thoughts assigning emotion just doesn't go deep enough for me.  I push my thoughts deeper and farther often in order that I might understand this dream or play that I have created.  It's been such a wonderful life and the lessons no less than absolute perfection.  As I come to a close of yet another year completed on this Earth, I cannot help but wonder what the next year will hold.  Birthdays are often a time of joy for many.  I've never really seen it that way.  I enjoyed them as a child but as an adult, not so much.  I think as every year ticks by I'm most concerned with whether or not I have achieved  those things I most wished to in my life.  I can say, absolutely yes for the most part but there are some things yet I still hold in focus and wish to beautifully create.  I'm certain it will be as I have dreamed.

So, well, I've got a few things I do want to do today and probably should get to them but I'll do so with a great sense of peace, serenity and joy in my heart.  I'm really glad to be here in this world and do my part to make a difference within it where I can.  It is something I love and I truly feel I live for.  I hope each of you reading this knows some measure of certainty about why it is that you came.  If you don't, look towards those feelings inside you that compel you into states of emotion for good or ill and you will soon begin to understand why you're here.  Seeking that understanding is a worthy endeavor.  Live, love and enjoy every step you place upon this Earth and every breath you take in harmony with all that you have come to know.  Realize that soon you will trade any illusions you hold for truth and when you do you'll realize that you gently become more authentically you.  Its beautiful how life works in this regard.  ~Blessings of love and deeper understanding.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart, (photo, fortunate internet find)

Fall

I can feel it in the air, that slight shift and change that brings us ever closer to the equinox.  I love that feeling of balance, the coolness that tinges the night air and that beautiful cerulean blue sky that becomes enhanced by big white puffy clouds.  The Summer is always fun and entertaining but I much prefer the Fall.  I relax a little more for some reason and the sleep in the cooler temps?  Well, it's just delicious to say the least.  When I look around and see the leaves on the trees turning, changing and beginning to fall away, I'm always mindful of those things I have finally learned and can now let go of having grown a little wiser for my efforts.  Maybe that is the real source behind that relaxing sense of completion.

The seasons are markers to me.  Much like in business, when we review the quarter's progress, so too do I engage in the same activities concerning my life.  I review my challenges and goals and consider my accomplishments--those planned as well as those unanticipated.  Life to me is no longer about filling my home with things that do not benefit the wisdom of lessons learned.  I am by far more interested in learning to understand and hold compassion for others as I make my way through this life.  That is the bigger challenge and it is infinitely more rewarding.  We cannot take with us the things we've collected while we've squandered our days and hours in pursuit of a feeling.  We can, however, take with us all of the love and understanding we have gained in our lifetimes.  When our bodies give up our souls, we remain very conscious and in that consciousness we are quite curious about what we've done - did we make it - did we do all the things we intended to do for the sake of the experience and learning?  We quickly then turn to love, did we give it enough, did we forgive and understand enough and did we leave a wake of love and serenity behind us?

When we know these things it gives us great pause to consider how we will live as we are, in fact, living and breathing.  Life is so very beautiful when you have your focus gently placed on those things that truly matter.  To deviate only causes you to lose your place and forgo your own progress but you can always find another way to learn because your consciousness never dies.  This place provides a great opportunity for experiencing from a very limited set of facets but there are more dimensions to our existence that we can reach into at any time. 

So, I've gone a bit of track.  But that's okay, I love letting my mind and heart roam where ever it wishes.  I appreciate every single day in every season I am alive.  Don't get me wrong.  But I'm happiest when I see representative change in the seasons.  It inspires in me hope.  It inspires in me the desire to enrich my own experience and to live in a way that I might leave some measure of peace behind me when the winter of my life finally comes.  I don't fear the hereafter.  I fear living lost in a world of superficiality and materialism.  I don't begrudge having nice things or making light connections - I just want the rich depths of meaning in life to continue to grow exponentially.  I will not fail in seeking that which I most desire.  I don't have it in me to fail.  Blessings of love, acceptance and understanding dear ones.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo and words)

We Hold This World

I dream of a world that sees more love and harmony than difference, fear and hate. I dream of a world where more cooperation and understanding between the cultures, religions and countries exist. I dream of a world where healing removes the pain that obscures love from the hearts of all mankind. I dream of a world where life matters more to most than winning, gaining control or money.   Somehow though, we have all dreamed this world we find ourselves in and for now it is the only world we hold. We can each make a difference and hold it with more grace and each other with much more love.

 ~Blessings of love and infinite light!

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, fortunate internet find)

Create a Moment

I was awakened in the darkness by the sound of gentle rain drops falling.  I was smiling before I even opened my eyes.  I laid there for the longest time just listening, feeling the cool breeze through a wide open window.  The curtains seemed to be dancing in the breeze and it set the mood for an easy morning.  After long moments I sat up - again, not wanting to move too fast.  I really wanted to soak in the energy of the morning.  Such a journey have I had of late and I truly wished to enjoy this simple pleasure of morning.  I wanted most to just feel the simple beauty of this moment and let it carry me into the day.

The coffee, part of my morning ritual, smelled amazing while brewing and I stood near my kitchen door with my hand out in the rain.  I stepped out into it letting the child within take control and I smiled for no reason at all - in a moment, truly happy just to be.  It's been a while since I felt pure and simple joy such as this and again, I wanted to really feel it and maybe somehow commit it to my physical memory.  Life holds such gentle and simple beauty sometimes.  If you blink or become overly preoccupied with what you do not have in life, you will miss life's amazing treasures.  A rainy morning is a favorite for me and in the middle of summer too.  I have prayed for a summer storm hoping it would come and wash away from my being the painful sensations of hard lessons learned.  I'm happy to report it did just that and I stand here refreshed, eager and hopeful for the day ahead.

A moment is what you make of it.  I choose to fill mine with thoughts of love, appreciation and a child-like wonder for all that is.  My path is the perfect path - the road I walk, the perfect road and the lessons I have and will learn are the perfect lessons for me now I see.  I pray you find a measure of joy in a moment of freedom...allow it to manifest and it will beautifully consume you. Much love and light!

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo random and beautiful internet find)

Cleverness

We have created everything under the sun -- the love we hold, the fear we hold...it is all a product of our own imaginings. If you do not understand how this is so and want to learn, know this - you hold all of the answers right there inside of you. Tune in with great focus to your perceptions and assumptions. Do you automatically assume negative intent or positive intent in others? Do you automatically assume the posture of the villain or victim? Why? Why do you think that might be?  It's not a simple answer and it undoubtedly will take time to truly find the truth.  However, when you can learn why you think the way you think about all of the experiences and encounters within your life, you will understand better how it is that you create your emotion from your thoughts related to the experiences you hold in this life. Set yourself free to roam the beautiful realms of your souls, seek solace in love and compassion, embrace the unique beauty that is you and you will be better able to see that in the world and in others thus changing your perspectives as well as your experiences. You are whole, complete, powerful and divine. Hold those thoughts first and foremost and watch your truest beautiful dreams come true.

I know it is no easy thing and there are so many who would laugh at your efforts and even deter them.  Pay them no mind understanding that you created them also in the scheme and framework of your existence at this time to prompt you to dig deep, be certain and learn!  There are no accidents in the encounters you participate in within this world.  Each one is intended either to impart to you understanding or to get you to stand up confidently for once in your own light - the light of love.  There are oh so many distractions, detours and seeming road blocks but those are all illusions to get you to climb outside of the themes that make you most comfortable - the ones that are rote and easy and make you strive harder to understand because the pain of complacency has grown too powerful.  It's a beautiful framework you have perfectly created for that which you most wish to learn.  Stand back in awe of your creations and then seek to better understand why you may have thought and felt them into reality.  New understanding will dawn and you will at some point grow to appreciate your own cleverness in outsmarting yourselves into learning.

 ~Blessings.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo - random internet find)

What Love Sees

There is this connected flow feeling that has weaved itself throughout the energy of today.  I felt it the moment I opened my eyes and as surely as I am here breathing, it is welcome.  So very welcome.  When the stream of love is permitted to freely flow throughout our thoughts, feelings and the whole of our existence, something changes and the sharp and harsh edges of this world seem to fade into insignificance.  I'm grateful for that.  I wonder often about the change in perspective, how it arrived and what fostered it.  Now that I give it some focused thought, I realize that I am aware of its source and it stems from love and a love expressed so purely that it makes my soul want to dance.  The love of angels is no small thing and they walk among you every day.  You may not see them disguised as a friend, a sister or brother who has been journeying through life beside you for all of your life or maybe they've just recently joined you - a stranger transformed through love into a friend.  It matters not one bit.  What matters is that you see and begin to realize that it is you who creates the loving or hateful feelings in this world.  We are so powerful and we just don't realize it.  Everything around you is part of that which you most wished to create for no other purpose than the experience and experiencing for the sake of growth within your own soul.  It's easy to dismiss this thought and even rail against it.  Denial or lack of understanding of something does not make it not so.

I am aware of so much in this moment.  I feel as though I have one foot gently placed in two worlds...the one most might consider the real reality and then... Elsewhere - a place as real to me as Earth is to you.  Both of these places have a few things in common - energy, love and beauty.  In a way, one exists because of the other.  I would think myself crazy hearing this tale if I had not had the experience of hearing similar tales recited by others who have found themselves in this place I now stand metaphorically speaking.  The mechanics just don't matter to me any more I guess but the feelings do.  When I am disconnected, I feel lost, lonely and alone.  When I am fully connected, I feel whole, complete and in the company of the brightest most loving angels. Delusion?  Maybe.  I don't really care.  This feeling is beyond intoxicating and I'm creating it.  It's a welcome shift from long days of contemplating complex connections, dreams and lessons.  Learning is hard but loving is easy.  Both can be used in harmony I realize.  I guess I just haven't consistently figured out how to get there.  So, the place to start is being what I want to see most around me - Loving, Accepting, Understanding, Tolerant, Compassionate, Gentle and Kind.  These things over time, have begun to matter so much to me. They emanate, when practiced, a certain loving frequency of energy that can be felt by all those around it if, they are willing to open to the frequency.  There is so much love in this world and we can decide every day and within each moment whether we will tune into it and allow it to resonate deeply within our cores.  Love heals pain.  Love heals fear.  Love heals uncertainty.  There is only love in my focus today.

I hope this feeling remains with me as it is the very thread that holds me together in this moment.  It's a beautiful thing and I hope that all of you reading these words know what this feeling is like.  It's beautiful beyond belief.  If you don't quite understand it yet, be patient and be tolerant.  If you set your intent to be open to it, it will happen.  You have the power to create the feelings you choose to create.  Well, it's the middle of the week and I'm just happy to be...I hope that you are too and that you consider shifting your view as you go about your day to one of love, compassion and understanding - not just for others but for yourselves too. ~Blessings of love, dearest souls.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

By Design:

By design, I love you
By desire, I ethereally hold you
By day, I radiate light for you

By night, I silently watch over you
Through life, I live for you
Beyond existence, I am here for you

Reach very deep within you and you may come to understand these words.  ♥

(c) 2011, Jaie Hart, Ethereal Reflections (photo is a fortunate random internet find I do not own).

A Beautiful Life

Standing under the stars feeling my way through my soul.  Pulling in the energy of the universe to soothe it.  Sometimes in the quiet and stillness a soul may come to know a great yearning from deep within and that yearning is simply for love.  But love, we never lose it or our connection to it.  We just seem to when some of life's tougher lessons come along to seemingly shake up our serenity.  I don't know...the only thought I can seem to think is that  I didn't come so far to throw it all away in a moment of weakness and nostalgia and I know that I must stop being so self-indulgent over a lesson of late.  It's time to breathe and deep.  Its time to think and deep.  Its time to feel and deep.  So I pause in the darkness and look up at the twinkling lights and each one flickers in time with my beating heart.  Each carrying a message and I can hear them - don't give up, don't give in, turn with in little one and find your wings, there is more to this than what you thought and time will tell...there are dreams to make and life plans to live.  Think not for one moment that you are not a part of us and that we are not part of you there always for an eternity, shining the light in the darkness.

I know it must sound silly but well, it's my quiet moment and I may take solace under the stars in which ever way I can to get the healing peace flowing within.  I'm incredibly grateful this morning.  For the past 18 months I have been in an accelerated set of life lessons that were intense beyond belief, beautiful immeasurably and filled my heart with wonder and joy for life in ways I never thought possible.  But after months of rapid learning to suddenly face the silence and stillness with maybe too much time to wander and let my mind meander through the many thoughts, visions and emotions vibrant and real beneath my skin, I'm at a loss for...well, I'll just leave it at that.  I have a few weeks to pull it together as a new path opens up for me and then, it's off racing in another direction with hopefully, greater understanding of life as a reward for my efforts.

I'm grateful this morning for angels incarnate.  I thought all of mine had gone and the words of one of them echoed through my mind, "you are never alone dearest."  Misty-eyed upon recall it's hard to type - but well, he was right. We are never alone and when the need is real and great, there are angels here to guide us and get us through the rough spots.  Thanks to my angels as I was surely in need of rescue and now here this morning under the stars, searching for strength and finding some, I see that I can do this - I can get through the wrapping up of the lessons learned.  I'm proud of my progress and grateful for every single soul who brought more definition to my thoughts, who shaped my love and my experience here.  It's been a beautiful journey and so, it shall continue - a beautiful life.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (Photo, beautiful random internet find)

IF

An Angel Takes Flight

The sky looks like a stained glass window to me tonight.  If you were standing in my shoes just now in this moment, you might understand just what it is that I mean.  Perhaps you already know in which case you understand that some times in life a breaking heart must be broken all the way...self-inflicted in fact.  There is no sooner way one can find their way to crawl back into their own light.  There are tough moments in life that need a great amount of tenderness, love and care to over come and I shall see to it that I give myself that and so much more.  The only thing I think that I am most certain of in this life is that every single person that we meet, we meet for one specific purpose.  That purpose is to learn about the true love inside of us for every other kind of love on this Earth fails and utterly, maddeningly and painfully so.  There is a reason for this, it forces you to grow, to reach far beyond your limited thinking, your self-limiting expectations and attachments and to reach out as well as in for the one thing that has been there for every step and every breath...Source and the love from Source.

I have always known great pain to be a great teacher.  Over the years I seem to understand just how this is so even more.  But through the pain, if we pay attention, we ultimately find love...true unadulterated pure and pristine love.  And love, wow, sometimes you have to love things and people enough to let them go...and go with your blessings, all of your hopes for them and all of your dreams for them.  Sometimes there is just no other way.  It is by far easier to love unconditionally like Source loves us than to ever attempt to possess someone and try to pass that off as love.  I think that I shall always love with all of my heart and all of my soul but I refuse to condition that love as I know that Source has never once conditioned that love for me.  I think I'm finished writing for a while.  I think this life has much more to teach me than I have been paying enough attention to truly recognize.  And, so, I may decide to go quieter while I figure a few things out the rest of the way.

Much love and light dearest souls.  Never fear the pain you encounter...realize its just another lesson to learn and you can love yourselves through it.  Be blessed.

P.S.  For a certain angel who has brought me so much, angel, you were always free to fly...go with my love and reach for the stars. Just don't look back...don't ever look back...be free and love with all of your heart.   May the Universe bring you all of the stuff your deepest wishes and dreams are made of...Eternally.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, fortunate internet find)

Coming Back to Self

Life Changing Journey

~ sigh ~ :)

Life Path - Plotted Courses

Sometime between 7 and 8:00 p.m. last night, I was sitting on my patio cooling off in a nice sea breeze.  I happened to look up and see big white puffy clouds sailing gently across a darkening blue sky. Although the sun had set some time before and it was dark out, I could see pale orange lighting up the bottom of the clouds.  I almost laughed out loud because it was just that beautiful and amazing.  My whole day has been like this, filled with the surprises of nature.  I recalled earlier in the day how I had driven by the beach and in the morning, a bank of clouds had rolled in just big enough to cover the sun but not the whole of the sky.  I happened to look over at our wetlands from Pacific Coast Highway and was stunned again by visible streams of light spilling brightly to the ground from behind the clouds.  It was absolutely gorgeous and it just filled me with such joy.  As I sit here writing this morning, I realize just how much I'm grateful for.  We sometimes think this is a big cruel world.  The world is not cruel, it's only our emotions and the challenges that we face that make it seem so.  If we wanted to find a measure of peace, we could take an alternate vantage point from the one our ego most wants us to hold.  That primarily seems to be that people, pets and things are taken from us.  There is this long string of villains out there who victimize us and wreck our bliss.  What if there were no villains and their were no victims?  What if certain things occur just as planned and right on queue?

Unexpected things seem to happen in life all around us and we'd never truly know the path of another so how could we know that their leaving was planned, that it was about them and not you?  I don't mean to seem unfeeling or emotionless, I am far from that but what if all living things come here with a specifically plotted course and once the part of that course that includes interaction with you is completed, they move on whether that is to another part of this world or another part of existence, makes no difference.  We get angry when we cannot keep the people we think we need in our lives.  But, let's look at need for a moment.  Do you really need someone in your life?  What makes you think that you were not whole and complete when you came here with your own plotted course to complete?  Think you that you are so weak and powerless that you cannot make your own way in this world?  Think again.  You are powerful and you are amazing standing their on your own in the sunlight looking out at this world wondering how in the world you might handle it some days.  But, you will figure it out.  So many things lead us to think we are weak and powerless but that is only an illusion. The truth does not have to be so illusive.  We do not have to give our consent through fear, worry or anything else.  Stand in your own light knowing that you can.  It might be a little hard to learn how at first but once you find your light and then find your voice, you will find your purpose and you will learn to live.  When you learn to live, you'll realize that you don't need people the way you did before but you'll want them to be happy standing in their own light and using their own voice in whatever way pleases them.  You'll learn to love people and things enough to let them go, be and do the things away from you they must.  As people leave us, it creates the space for others to enter or even time for ourselves and we are worthy enough of our own focus during silent times and quiet times.

Somehow we have learned to mistakenly believe that we are made better or more whole by the presence of another in our physical worlds.  While its true that resonating light brings us joy, we can tap into that resonating light from many amazing and beautiful sources.  Respect for self and love for self teaches you that your own light is enough and resonance can be sought in a walk under the stars, a moment in the sun or imagining the people you love right inside of your heart.  We can create in ways we are not routinely taught.  You just sometimes need to open your mind and heart so the way to invite that love and light in becomes clear.  Believe me, it has nothing to do with holding people to you just so that you might not feel lonely or afraid.  We are all afraid sometimes but going deeper into the well of the amazing being that you are and finding the love inside of you will most definitely at some point dispel the fear.  Fear and love cannot co-habitate within your being at the same moment.  So, open up to love on a higher plane of existence and you will know peace.  And one more thing, at the level of the spirit, you are never for one second ever alone.  We are ALL here with you lending love and support ethereally.  Think you that does not matter or have a positive influence?  It does!  Trust me!  I think I'll go back outside and finish my coffee under the stars.  Its perfectly temperate outside just now and I love that moment when the light changes from dark of night to the light of morning.  It brings me great peace and it is that which I seek most in this moment.  ~Blessings of higher love and understanding dear ones.  You are amazing.  Don't ever forget how much you are loved.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart, (photo, random internet find)

Pushing the Boundaries

What do you do when there is so much to say and yet all of the feeling that exists within you rises to the surface all at once fighting for conscious cognition? You do nothing but breathe, be silent and still.  And so tonight I write out underneath my beloved stars.  Apparently some words I can still chain together semi-coherently.  Its an amazing thing to be human and even more so to have a heart...senses...sight.  A very welcome cool sea breeze blows and the stars are there but not quite yet visible.  Any moment now they'll flick on all at once as they do every night at about this time.  This is truly a beautiful world.  Oh if only I could tell you of all of the things I have seen.  You may not believe me even if you heard the words and saw my lips moving in person.  You might think me quite insane unless you could feel the sensations in your own body of a soul speaking the truth from their heart.  Sometimes there is nothing more beautiful nor tragic in life than the truth.

I've been on an interesting journey that shifted its focus in January of 2011.  Things I thought impossible have expanded before me and become reality and illusions, well, many of those had to be traded for the truth and I don't regret a single moment of that exploration.  If you are very lucky or at least aware in life, you will come to know all of the ways in which we each are guided as we place our feet in sequence on the Earth and we dream this dream.  We can reach straight through the vision of reality that we hold and grab onto what's real but we touch it and have no way in which to measure what we hold...no words to define...no pictures...just feeling.  Its beautiful if even very difficult to understand.  So, at such times a soul may grow very quiet trying to wonder if what they see is real or what they feel is real and which is more real any way.  And eventually you come to a place where you realize it doesn't matter...the journey doesn't matter, the questing for truth doesn't matter and the only thing these things ever really bring you is right back to the threshold of your own door.  Standing in disbelief you open the door to your soul and you're home...a place you never left and only seemed to.  Without the fabric of understanding to realize what you have done, it feels a little as if you've lost your mind but the truth is, you've finally found it.

This life holds not one ounce of separation from Source.  We were never cast out of the kingdom from sin.  We closed our eyes and went to sleep is all we did and in a dream we forgot our starting point and what we are always surrounded by...pure, sweet and beautiful love and enough power and energy to keep creating any way we wanted to in the dreams we dream.  We forget the dream is a dream even and we get lost along the way it seems but the reality is its only a mind trick we play on ourselves just for fun.  And it is fun when you begin to understand there isn't much to understand other than what and who you really are...where you came from, what you've done and not in any sort of judgmental way.  This life is meant to be lived for as long as you should choose to live it.  There is no turning back once the journey begins, you must see it through or suffer your own admonishment somewhere down the line.  The Kingdom has always been within you and never once has your connection to it and its Source ever been severed.  Its a beautiful realization.

I'm off to appreciate the stars in this beautiful sky I have dreamed and I shall relish it, feel the pure joy of it, breathe in the blessed bliss of it and then I shall embark on another dream and who knows what else then.  Tomorrow the Earth will still be turning and we'll see the sun in the sky and we'll do what we do every day over again and again until we're ready to go home.  There is so much to do in between and so much to create and understand.  Please don't misunderstand my words or their seemingly obscure meaning.  There is a purpose to my rambling meandering thoughts and that is to show you that our linear progression of thoughts think things are just so but life gets infinitely more rewarding when you push the accepted boundaries of what reality is and do some exploring on your own.  Immeasurable beauty will you find and come to know.  Infinite wells of love and light will be there at your finger tips.  You will come to know who and what you are.  And for the first time in as long as you can remember, you will be more than satisfied. ~Blessings.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random but quite fortunate internet find)

Iris

Contemplation Under the Sky

So much am I feeling that my head is spinning.  Every now and then I catch a single thought and I try to focus but I cannot hold it just now.  So, I take myself out of this dwelling and I stand under a beautiful indigo sea filled with stars and I let that amazing view soothe my soul.  My mind wanders over the prior day, sweeping through words and visions and the things that I was called to participate in.  Revelations on so many accounts and I wonder when they'll slow and I can catch my breath again.  I stood for long moments under the sky again to compose myself from a sense of pure joy, love and bliss and what did I see but a sky filled as far as I could see with angel wing clouds.  They were so beautiful I stood there smiling and must have been quite a sight.  No matter, I create what I wish and in pure joy and love did I create a beautiful view of opalescent clouds crawling across cerulean blue.  Back to this day, I'm standing out under the stars, I see the angel wing clouds are still with me.  I see their silhouettes traveling across the stars in my field of vision.  In the spaces between the clouds, Jupiter rises slightly north east and I know soon Venus will follow and our glorious sun.  I shall relish her pure golden beauty this morning I know as sure as I stand here breathing.

There are times in life that you really must take stock in the beauty around you...see it and I mean really see it and look for the inspirational beauty in it.  There are some days that might be all you have to motivate yourself into a state of joy or bliss.  It's not easy some days but these were the states we were meant to create from...we cannot create beautifully from a place of boredom, complacency nor fear.  It's funny how we do not believe that we create at all.  We contend with limited words with multiple meanings implied, conveyed, twisted and thrown.  It's a strange world to learn to communicate within.  But, if you can learn to listen to your body's sensing system, coupled with what you see and hear, then there is no mistaking a message.  Our own challenge is that the ego circumvents our senses sometimes.  Finding time to let it gently fall away helps a great deal and is necessary for your ability to dispel even the smallest of illusions in life.  Illusion keeps you trapped in prisons you created from nothing but fear and pain from the seeming separation of Source.  But, the truth of that is you were never separated - you are always connected and all of us - these thoughts we are existing in the world designed to experience and further create - we are all one at the level of the spirit.  It's just at the physical level that we seem to be separate.

So, I ramble much this morning and must take leave.  My day begins in earnest and I have much to contemplate.  Well, actually, the thoughts are done being created, it's the making sense part that lays straight ahead on my path.  I shall take a day off for greater understanding tomorrow I think and feel the joy of pure existence because that is what I wish to create.  Have a beautiful day dear souls.  Enjoy the journey, appreciate the understanding it wishes to impart to you when you begin to awaken and become aware of so many messages out there waiting for you.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, beautiful random internet find)

Other Common Illusions

When emotion strikes, as often it does in us humans, it is difficult - so very difficult to exercise restraint in action or reaction. However, that is exactly what is needed. You see, when you are emotional, you are not centered and will be wholly unable to use all of your faculties to understand a situation before you and respond to it rather than react to it. If you are unable to refrain from action or reaction, you may do something you will later regret or worse, make a situation into something it simply isn't. When emotion strikes, no matter the reason, disconnect from the seeming external source and feel your way through the emotion first without using one single assumption, then respond to the situation instead of reacting to it. 

We mistakenly think our emotions are born from a source out side of us and that our emotions represent pure fact. But you see, that simply is not true. Only we can ever be the creators of our emotion and unless we create emotion based on hard evidence and empirical facts, we are wasting time and precious energy. It's a hard life lesson to understand but it is truth. One of the biggest illusions we collectively hold is that something outside of us can make us sad, angry, happy, frustrated or whatever other feeling comes to us.   

 

Let me give you an example.  If someone called you a three-eyed monster, you likely wouldn't care because you don't have 3 eyes and are not a monster.  This comment doesn't resonate with any part of your being and so you may respond by saying, "Um, okay" while rolling your eyes thinking the other person crazy.  They have exposed nothing in you close to your core or wounds and so you respond from your center and there is no emotion evoked in you.  However, if someone called you a needy, clingy manipulative jerk and this comment resonates with any wound you hold, you may feel exposed and become angry.  You become angry only to the extent you think someone has exposed a wound and sees you for who you really are inside or maybe someone else has accused you of the same thing and you are sensitive.  You think someone has just made you angry but it is only you who creates the anger.  What if the other person had no clue about you and was just randomly looking for an insult that might hurt you?  If you did not believe the insult, it would roll off of you.  If a part of you believes the insult, you will create emotion to protect the wound and then if you act or react while angry, you might retaliate creating more conflict and adrenaline that ultimately will make you feel horrible...and then the insults escalate and continue until you stop speaking or you go away from the person who seemingly hurt you.

Another example, someone pays us a compliment and we like how that feels and so we create a sense of happiness and think it is this person that makes us happy.  But, they go away from us for one of many reasons and we then are unhappy because they did not stay like we wanted them too.  Are people really never allowed to leave you and live their own lives just because you need someone outside of you to create a feeling of happiness within you?  Really?  That is a huge contract to bind someone in and wholly selfish.  Really!  When you do this, you hand over responsibility for yourself - you give away your power.  The other person has nothing to do with the emotion you create within you.  You are a valid and wonderful human being whether or not anyone ever pays you a compliment.  It is you that creates the emotion based on what you think about the compliment paid to you.  The emotion is yours, generated by you and not the outside world.  So, a person who does not stay with you does not take away your happiness if they should leave you.  You created your happiness.  You will create your happiness again and the other person is really not relevant.  Now that is not to say that you won't miss the person who went away.  The point is that the other person does not hold your happiness.  That is too big a burden to place on someone else.  Only you can create the emotion of happiness.

The illusions in life separate us from the one true emotion we always have at hand -- love. Until we begin to understand how and why we create emotion, we will mistakenly believe that other people create our joy or our pain.  People can seem to create our emotions but honestly, no one on Earth has that much power over you.  Only you hold that power ultimately and completely.  Once you understand, you set a path of freedom for you.  You are no longer dependent on the outside world to create your pleasure, serenity or joy.  Likewise, you do not have to create pain in you by the words or actions of others.  We are not taught to strip away the superficial layers of our normal and natural reactions to external stimuli in this world.  If we were, we'd all be much healthier as we walk this journey.  We often go through life oblivious of the creation of our emotions and the triggers as well as the source of those triggers.  We spill our power out in every direction thinking others control our joy and pain.  It is an illusion and when you get tired of the consequences - I mean SO sick and tired of the consequences that you cannot stand them another moment, perhaps then you will go within and understand what within you needed healing.  See, people interact with us often to expose our weaknesses so that we can become aware of them and try to understand why they exist.  Conflict and the resulting emotion can actually be your best friend - if, and only if, you are willing to try to understand your reactions and transcend the prisons they place you in - that you place you in.  When you can respond to a situation from a place of love and understanding, you wield your power in the strongest light.  Anything else hands your power away to another that doesn't really deserve that much power. ~blessings of love, balance, equanimity and centeredness in your thinking dear ones. Have a beautiful day.

 

(c) 2012, Jaie Hart (photo is a fortunate internet find)

Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You...

Before the Fall Comes...

Sometimes the silence can be deafening and the stillness stifling but that doesn't mean that these things do not have great purpose.  For me, in particular, I have had many long years of some very important life lessons to contend with and when such a long period of learning strikes, you forget how to be still and quiet and take the time to really understand the lessons.  Cognition comes only in the silence and stillness and I take great solace in such times even if in some moments, I do not seem to appreciate such things.  When the chaos stops its swirling and the commotion begins to calm, we are presented with a beautiful opportunity to just feel.  The body speaks in such times, the soul reaches into consciousness during these times and the peace does eventually come and wrap around you like a comforting blanket.  I have had such comfort for quite a while now and I'm really happy, very happy and although understanding the impetus behind lessons has been hard to strive for, finding them is ultimately a relief. 

Sometimes when we begin to see the things we could not see before, a strange sensation takes place.  There are moments of connectedness and flow but there are also great moments of separation when you look out into a sea of illusions and watch them slowly dissipate.  Surreal moments descend upon consciousness and one begins to wonder what comes next.  How do you live in a world of illusion, including all those that were once self-created?  What comes then of desires and dreams when the premise from which these things were created disintegrates?  I really don't know but it is such a place I now find myself.  Freed from many illusions that kept me going and fighting for understanding for so long have kept me focused, driving me to move and go and seek.  But now, now that's all gone.  At my core, I am happier than I have ever been.  In the center of my soul there is a peace I have never known.  In the heart of my spirit is a feeling of bliss.  So why am I ill at ease?  I think it is that in all of my searching and fanning the flames of my illusions, my mind was occupied, it knew what to do - dive into sorting and figuring and analyzing and now, now that is not necessary.

I do not know what comes next.  There is a strong urge to take all of those things I collected and dump them.  I have the strongest urge within me to take every single thing I own not in use and give it away or throw it away.  I do not wish to collect "things" any more.  They seem to have lost their luster, significance and importance in my consciousness.  The only thing that seems to drive me now are the intangible things like true love, unconditional love both the giving and receiving, the understanding, the reaching farther and higher for even greater understanding.  This place, it is such a strange and yet wholly wonderful place.  It's freedom from the foggy thinking that had me mired for so long in a state of frenzy and unhappiness. This feeling, I know, is ultimately good but it definitely takes some getting used to.  I think I like this very much but I just don't know what to do with it, what to do within it and where in my mind I now most wish to go.

I hate to say it or think it but it is very much like getting the summer off between grades.  You have the motion and commotion of lessons and learning with other students right beside you and then summer comes and everyone goes away and you are left in the sunshine quietly contemplating the view, knowing as the clock ticks, fall comes and a whole set of new classes, with new lessons and new fellow students.  I sigh in my realization and in mere seconds have decided to just enjoy the peace, this break to rest and recuperate.  The lesson plan has been so very hard and difficult to master.  I cannot rest much on my laurels thinking, "I made it."  I wish I could.  My mind is naturally inclined to wonder what comes next and how I shall prepare to give it my very best.  I can at least trust that from me.  Enough of these thoughts for now.  I will put them away and face this day with cheerful optimism.  The sun will shine and the clouds will slowly crawl across beautiful cerulean blue and I'll take notice and feel them and then tonight, under the stars I shall meditate and send up my gratitude, my sheer appreciation and all of my love.

(c) Jaie Hart (photo, fortunate random internet find)