The Space Between

The space between moments, heart beats, sounds, events and interactions...that precious space of balance and peace like those few precious moments between day light and night or when the night time gives way to a brand new day.  I love the spaces in between because it is in those times the mind is less occupied and the thoughts are easier to scatter into the wind.  We focus too much on things and expectations and we miss what is truly precious in this dream.  Have you ever sat still, breathed in deeply and easily, let go of every last thought and just drifted in the void of nothingness and everything-ness?  There is a rare beauty there to behold if you can manage it.  When there is no thought, when there is no one and not one single emotion tugging at your attention, consciousness becomes super real in the process of just being, you can feel what it is like to be you, in your body, letting the soul stretch out in pure bliss and love.

Just before sunset, I went for a walk with my daughter.  We headed over to the neighborhood elementary school so I could hit a tennis ball against the hand ball wall and so, of course, she could go swing on the play ground.  For twenty minutes I hammered a ball against a wall until every last bit of the day's stress had left me.  One last swing and my furry little yellow spherical friend flew over the wall.  I'm a little out of practice and realized I had a little ways to go to catch up to my ball.  I decided to walk slowly and just breathe in the blue sky and let my mind stretch out far and wide.  I heard the haunting clinking sound of the tether ball chains gently tapping the tether ball poles in a beautiful sea breeze.  The place looked desolate but I could feel the traces of energy left behind by children full of energy, laughing, playing and feeling their way through their normal day without a care.  I could feel people unseen walking and talking.  I just felt for the energy of the place and it was so serene and peaceful despite the energetic traces.  I also felt the souls no longer part of this world awaiting the right moment for the right medium to speak and I thought to myself, in time, in due time.

I retrieved my little yellow friend and decided it was time to join my daughter on the swing.  While I was hitting the ball she found a toy of sorts that made unusual but amazing music when she stood on it.  It was so beautiful and so much care did she place in her perfectly timed movements to create a song for me.  I smiled in delight and gave her a standing ovation for her very creative performance.  I even had her do it one more time for a special mommy video.  I so love those.  We laughed and talked the whole way home both of us elated just to be outside where there were no screens.  The whole world went away on our walk home and I was amazed at how philosophical a nine year old could be.  I smiled so happy in that moment.  We walked back home and she had just enough time to play with friends for a few minutes while I caught my breath from a good round of exertion.  I looked up and saw the most amazing sunset and I could feel that in between time coming.  I was elated still and now it's here and I'm contemplating existence, joy, love and the rest of the happenings in this amazing dream of mine.  Its really true what the sages all say, life IS TRULY what you make of it.  If you look for sadness, terror and tragedy, you'll find it in abundance.  If you look for love, joy, beauty and laughter, you'll find it in abundance.  I'm glad I looked for and found the latter.  I shall endeavor to hold these feelings until the stars come out and then some.  I pray you find a measure of peace, purpose and love in all of your endeavors dear souls.  You will.  I know it.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo/words).

Surrender to the Is-ness of Being

After days, weeks and months of frenetic activity I woke up this morning to find something so very different.  From the moment I opened my eyes this morning, I have been struck by this amazing, loving and gentle energy that has some how wrapped around me and has seemed to permeate everything in my sphere.  Everywhere I went today, everywhere I looked and no matter what it was I was doing this loving energy wrapped around everything.  In contrast to the dark tunnel of lessons and understanding that I've trudged through for a very long time, this was pure unadulterated bliss.  Either the energy has shifted from without this day or it is something from deep within me that has shifted.  It matters not one bit to me as it is just delicious and beyond incredible to take note of and even more importantly to feel fully.

Lately, the emotions have run high from understanding, from learning and analyzing everything but I think this feeling comes with a very important message.  One that has been a very long time in coming.  It is quite simply to just be and feel and let go of thoughts and judgment of those thoughts and the fixing of those thoughts.  Analysis paralysis has had me gripped for months and suddenly I am rewarded by this beautiful and gentle reprieve.  It feels very much like carrying a very heavy load for a little while and then setting it down and feeling that overwhelming sense of pure release...the lightness.  Sometimes surrendering to whatever is IS the only course a soul can take and I've come to this conclusion of late and so this energy, I now realize is merely a continuation of what started some time ago.  I think the more you find this feeling and tune in to it, the more you experience the fullness of what it is.  And, well, what it is quite simply is love.

There is an energy that we emanate when we stop our thoughts and relax into the is-ness of the universe and surrender to our lives consciously.  Wow, I really wanted to write about this but I find this feeling makes it more difficult as it increases as I now go into that precious "in between" part of the day where the day surrenders to the coming night.  How perfect.  This is a moment to be further enjoyed.  Dearest souls, I pray that you all find this feeling and realize the enormity of it, the totality of it and the completeness of it.  In this moment I want for nothing...I need nothing...I strive for nothing but being.  With these thoughts, I am more than content.  Blessings of love and light sweetest souls.




(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo and words)

Time Warps

Summer skies fade from cerulean to indigo and then slowly to black. I'm sitting in the quiet and dark again, recounting my thoughts of the day again.  I'm tired tonight after an outing with the kids and a walk to a local establishment for dinner.  Nothing but smiles and laughter all night.  It has been a very simple and yet incredibly pleasant day.  A chill sets in for reasons unknown.  It is not a warning but something altogether different.  I welcome "different" in my life about now.  So much has seemingly become rote.  I'm told this is a time I should relax, rest and breathe in the peace of this moment as things are surely about to change major.  Again, I welcome the change but at the same time, I am grateful for this peace and quiet that has made it's way into my life.  In years past, I might be bored out of my skull.  Thoughts aren't so easy to weave together just now and a poem, well, the emotion has left me and I have nothing but this pure pristine peace and solitude to contend with.  I love this life so much and the gratitude that washes over me for this moment in time to take notice of what is before me, look at it more deeply and then truly begin to see what is unfolding is beyond measure and beyond my ability to fully articulate.

There are moments in time like this where time itself becomes an interesting and intriguing stranger.  A day or night will go by in a minute and then the next one will take years, it seems.  Its funny why I should observe this at all but I think my senses to most everything have suddenly grown so very acute.  On one hand I'd like to think I didn't understand what is happening but on the other hand, I know better and I do understand.  When we learn fully what it means to create, there is a shift in our perceptions and the very things we counted on, or - well, took for granted seem to change.  Change feels very strange but when you realize the change you may be experiencing is the result of the very specific road you chose to walk down and that these are the things you have worked so hard to learn, you can relax a little bit and just enjoy the show.  I'm refining my thoughts more and more as the minutes tic into hours and the hours into days and days into years.  It feels like I've been on this Earth forever and yet, at the same time it feels I've only just arrived.  Life for me will be all that I intend it to be...but only because I've finally figured out that I truly do create it and I provide the impetus for motion, messages and all sorts of wonderful learning.  I smile as I lean my head back in my chair and gaze up at a beautiful sea of stars.  I feel them as if they are a part of me as I have every single night that I have done the very same thing.  I sent my wishes up and out and pray they reach their intended destinations.  I relax a little more into my own skin letting my soul stretch out far and wide.  It has been a beautiful day and a beautiful life.  I am among those truly blessed to find the things that I have found, to live the life that I get to live and to know how to find love in everything.  Thank You I whisper still gazing upwards into the heavens. 

The peace has settled in overmuch now and I relish the thought of retiring to a very comfortable space to dream.  I'll make a tiny stop first for some treasured meditation time, flip on Discovery Science on the TV (because I am that much of a nerd) and I shall drift peacefully and pleasantly, elsewhere...

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (words and photo)

A Day Spent in Minutes

I woke up before my alarm this morning.  I laid there in the quiet and dark for many long seeming moments.  I listened to the cars speeding down the road and noticed that if I added a little imagination to my senses, the pace and cadence of the cars sounded a bit like ocean waves softly crashing onto my imaginary shoreline.  I didn't want to move in that moment as the fog had not yet quite cleared from an amazing dream.  I was afraid I might lose the memory of it and so, before I moved I recalled every precious scene of it, a face, the sunlight and the Meadow.  Always it seems I dream of the Meadow.  Its a very precious place to me.  It's a place I often go whenever I have a few moments to let my mind and vision wander.  So many amazing experiences have I had in this one very sacred and special place.  The time is ticking away hours in minutes and I know I must move and get my day started.  This wrestling that occurs within my soul just now I find so amusing...fighting to move away from one dream right into another.  Life, itself, is an amazing dream with realism so perfect and messengers great!  I love life and I love love and all the messages that stem there from. Sigh.  I still did not wish to move so I glanced at the clock to see if I had any ability to negotiate a few more minutes.  In all this thinking and feeling a strange reality strikes.  Only one single minute has passed in a hour's worth of thought.  Hmmm, my ability to create is moving quite successfully this morning, I thought to myself.

The entire day seemed to occur at a step out of time and I wondered about that as I moved from scene to scene.  The entire day seemed ethereal, unreal and surreal all at once and I just observed as if I were standing five feet outside of this body that was moving through some routine sequence of motions.  Robotic it seemed or I seemed and I didn't care for it much but stayed just close enough to be connected.  I completed an enormous task at the salt mines today which is some what puzzling since it felt like I was not there at all.  I am barely conscious of how I spent my day today and at times I wondered whether I was losing touch with reality.  Interchangeably, I wondered if the truth was that I was regaining touch with definitive reality.  I smiled leaving my office for a break. The light inside felt so bleak and dampening and walking felt strange and yet in my soul I was elated.  Each step I took along the corridors I could feel in this very disconnected and yet super-connected way that I cannot well articulate. Walking down three flights of stairs, I'd pause at each landing and gaze out of the long thin windows of the stairwell.  Soft rolling green hills gave way to the ocean in the distance.  No, I couldn't see it, I just know where it is.  Finally out the door, I watched a plane leave John Wayne Airport and I wondered where it was headed and I wished more than anything I could sprout wings and fly.  In the span of a heart beat I could see the view from that plane now flying over the ocean, we bank to the left and head back towards the foot hills and there - there is the place where in this moment I stand.  A solitary figure in a sparsely populated parking lot surround by, of all things, seven dragon flies and a humming bird.

I was back in my body the moment I heard the humming bird's wings.  I watched him for hours that transpired in only minutes.  What in the heck is going on with time today anyway, I wondered as I flipped on my phone to check the time.  I noticed the sky, the clouds and the breeze and it carried me comfortably on this unseen cloud I seemed to still be floating on.  I returned to my desk and the day disappeared.  Many things to do and some promises to keep.  I cannot say I remember having many days like today but I realize how interesting it was as I sit here at home now in the dark of my patio staring up at a half moon glistening in an indigo sky.  The air is cool as it was when I began this day minutes ago.  Every day is such a delicious treat, especially when the routine becomes something more transformational.  I look forward to re-exploring that wonderful dream.  As I recall, I had a conversation to finish and one I look forward very much to engaging in with my soul's full attention.  Sweet dreams beautiful dreamers.  Enjoy every scene, every encounter and experience in the dream you have created here that is your lives.  Much love and light.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo is a beautiful random internet find)

Diving into the Fears Within You

If you want a life changing experience, dive into the core of fearful emotions.  I assure you this not for the faint hearted.  However, once you dive in, look around, take a good long swim in the sea of emotions that you created, you may come to understand quite a bit about the world and even more about you and the reasons you are here and living like you do. Sometimes, the things that make us fearful can become our greatest teachers in life.  We need only to be present in the moment and be ready and willing to see things from an alternate vantage point.  When we can see fearful or painful things from another perspective, it can change what we have come to know as fear-producing.  We make many assumptions about everything in our lives.  If this happens, it means this.  If that happens, it means that.  We judge and label everything around us in the negative according to one thing...what we fear most within us.  If we label someone as hurtful, they are a mirror of us...where have we been hurtful with self?  If we label someone as loving, we are in touch with the good and loving aspects that exist within us.

So often we think it is the people around us who make us feel.  What we fail to realize is that no other can create an emotion in us.  Our emotion can form only by our own thoughts...the ones that we have determined are the truth.  But our "truth" is shaped by the assumptions we make about our experience.  Take one simple example, you see another individual get promoted at work.  You feel you have worked long and hard to be promoted and yet it is this other soul promoted before you.  You may react angrily and feel hurt that this undeserving person was promoted and you were not. Your experience in life is not in the power of others to control.  It is you choosing to think you are unworthy that truly creates your pain.  It is you who thinks you are overlooked and unrecognized that makes you feel bad.  So, what other thoughts are you allowing to think that support this position?  What drama are you playing out in your mind over and over again to reinforce this feeling of "less than" everyone else?  Where in your life were you invalidated and looked over?  It could be someone important to you who originally planted these kinds of thoughts in your head or reinforced it either purposely or unwittingly when you were young.  Without realizing it, you have continued to play these tapes in your head over and over and your anger in this moment at not being promoted is actually the real you from way back when fighting to be seen for who you really are.  But you already are who you really are and you are not the labels others have placed on you and so, the success or failure of another does not have the power in and of itself to make you lesser or greater.  Only you have that power.  It's all you baby!

You already truly are amazing.  When you can learn to untangle the webs weaved by those around you who are or maybe were unaware of what souls really need to grow and live a healthy and normal life, you can free yourself from their misguided words and thoughtless seeming actions.  You may then begin to allow into your conscious mind your own gentle and loving thoughts about who you truly are.  You are a beautiful soul who tries so hard and who is amazing and so very deserving of love.  So, love you and show that love by never allowing comparing thoughts to give you a sense of greater than or lesser than someone else.  You cannot compare yourself to another soul and have a truly long lasting and rewarding experience.  Sometimes the actions of others are not directly derogatory to us at all but we just perceive that for some reason.  Even that can plant the seed of a wound that may lead you into a life of comparing and contrasting yourself to others to judge your success or failure.  It's a no win framework.

The one example above of diving into a fear is an obvious one.  There are similar ones that exist in the realm of your experiences.  You can find these learning and transformational opportunities by diving into the core of those things that seemingly hurt you the most.  In those spaces are tomes of information that you, with time, love and patience, can unravel and begin to see the definitive truths of from the provisional ones you have held with the unwitting creation of your assumptions.  You can release the fear through love and understanding allowing yourself to receive the beauty and light in this world.  Its really all up to you to stand in your own light of pure love or to remain seated forever in the shadows created by misunderstanding in your own minds.  Rise, I say.  Rise and feel the light of love.  It is already within you.  You may just need to allow yourself to see and feel it. Blessings of love and light dear souls!

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo is a random but beautiful internet find that just spoke to me)

Love in a Moment

In life, there will always be those precious moments you wish with all your might you could some how freeze in time and hold close to your heart forever.  Sadly, at times, life just isn't like that.  Everything is in constant motion...always everything is changing and growing.  The seasons come and go, the sun seems to rise and eventually set day in and day out.  Its easy to become disheartened sometimes by the seemingly unwelcome changes in life.  We cannot hold onto a moment in time forever but we can collect within us beautiful memories we can always hold in our hearts.  I'm so blessed to say that I have a long string of memories I keep close to my heart like a treasured string of pearls.  Beautiful words have I had the pleasure to exchange in my life with some truly amazing and wonderful souls.  It's always bitter sweet when its time for souls to fly - off into their lives or even into the wild and beautiful cerulean blue.  And we, we sometimes are left behind to wonder about our time together.  Every single moment is treasured bliss with the people we love the most in life.  The drudgery we face can sometimes seem to tarnish that fact but the love inside can always chase that away.  If I could count the times I've had to say goodbye, I'd be lost.  Not even a dollar for each one could make me richer than the deep gratitude and appreciation I hold for the experience of those who have meant so much to me...and those still near, I love them so.  Treasured friends abound in this world and I am so very grateful.  My family is just the best and I realized how truly blessed I have been.

To know that you have held love deeply and that you have shared love with others is by far more important than anything in this world or the next that you could claim as yours.  The intangible things sometimes have greater value than the superficial and material things we come across.  Sparkly things that shine are wonderful but none so wonderful as the shiny and sparkling souls I see, have met and have had the honor and pleasure to have loved and who have loved me.  Thank God, this Universe and all of existence for this one blessed state - emotion - beingness...love.  It is a treasure great and one that can never be replaced.  The beauty of love is that it never ever dies.  If it was love it will live on in your soul forever.  How amazing and beautiful is that?  I've gone and blissed myself to tears for a moment but that's just how grateful I am.  To every soul I have ever met, thank you for allowing our paths to cross - to learn, to share and best of all, to love.  Blessings of sweet gratitude and love to you all.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo is a very fortunate internet find).

The Day Unfolding

Life, there is much more to it than rolling out of bed and getting through the day. Each day holds a collection of experiences, thoughts and emotions that bring us a unique and amazing opportunity to lift the veil between ignorance and understanding. If, whatever it is you do this day, you can attempt to see the situation and people through the eyes of love, you will catch a glimpse of the bigger picture and the greater importance of those things that truly matter in this world and in your lives. There is always much more than what you think meets your eyes. There is a vast and beautiful sea of meaning that you must reach for to grasp and be open and welcoming to in order to understand. Open your hearts and minds and watch this day's beauty as it gently unfolds before you. Enjoy your every moment, your every emotion and all of your experiences this day and every day in great love and infinite light. ~Blessings.

 

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, very fortunate random internet find)

You Have the Tools

This life, the one that you lead...the one that you are living right now in this moment matters. You contribute to this beautiful dream. Your every step, breath, thought and heart beat brings the whole together ever more perfectly. Be brave and courageous in your dreaming. Dare to paint your lives in the most rich and beautiful colors that you can possibly imagine. The good stuff you think is just "out there," well - it is within you. If it were not, you would not be able to see it. Let your light shine in your every action. You deserve that much and so does this world. ~You are so loved!

It is all to easy to become mired in negativity.  In some ways, its almost easier to allow the self to sink into the lower vibratory energies of existence.  We don't have to reach for those.  We just let go and we sink into them.  Did you know it is your thoughts that make that decision for you?  You don't wake up one day and find yourself mired in the sludge and drudgery of emotion.  Your thoughts set the path and your unfortunate but temporary lack of awareness steers you down that road if even seemingly... unwittingly.  This may sound terrible and awful but it's actually not.  To know that you have the power to change your thoughts, change your emotion and dig deep within to find the energy, the love and the strength to reach up and pull yourself out is simply amazing.

I once had someone come at me quite angrily to tell me off in that I had obviously never had a bad day, never suffered depression, nor insomnia, death in my family members and friends and always had everything go perfectly right for me to spout off such unconscionable things as we have the power to change our experience.  I could understand the frustration immediately.  I could understand because I lived that world once where all my days seemed bad, like every decision lead to disaster, the depressive and oppressive emotions had me thinking only of escape. I've lost a parent, I've had friends die, I have lost jobs, I have had to file bankruptcy and I felt very much like it was the world and everyone else around me who caused my misery.  If these people and institutions would only do what I wanted them to do, I could dig myself out and be free.  I spent three years once in my own self-created and very miserable victimized hell and no one could touch me there.  But something happened.  I took a cold hard and very courageous look at the themes in every "bad" seeming situation in my life.  Having a natural aptitude for analysis and pattern awareness I looked for the common thread in every bad situation I seemingly encountered.  In shock, awe, much denial for a long time and disbelief at first, I realized the common theme was me and my own thoughts, my assumptions I made about life, people, situations and even institutions.  It wasn't personal the things that I went through. There were decisions I made and there most definitely were consequences.  I spent a long tim beating myself up for those decisions in the absense of understanding as to why I should make them.  Then, I thought about that for a while.  There were things I wanted to experience, I was creating my life from a place of fear in general and fear of pain.  But I realized something, I was already in pain so why would I spend another moment fearing it?  I realized pain wasn't so bad or something to run from but something to embrace, understand and grow through.

I spent a lot of time considering, thinking and understanding why I would make the deicisions I did and why I might want, from a soul level, to experience the things I did and suddenly the darkness and heaviness went away.  Understanding brings in love and light.  One loving thought for self and one open thought towards understanding lets in a little pin prick of light and even that tiny little pin prick of light can be quite illuminating when one is in sheer darkness.  I realized that we all have our dark nights of the soul and if our expectation is that pain is to be avoided or that pain is something to run or escape from, perhaps it is our expectations that need adjusting.  Our own thoughts and assumptions need to be reset with the understanding that everything we do and think matters.  Everything has purpose.  Our mistakes create learning for us.  Our assumptions are a beautiful messenger to tell us where we need healing.  If we continually feel that others are out to hurt us and we have so little trust - what within us feels we deserve that - what is it that WE are reinforcing with such thoughts?  We have to go back to the beginning sometimes and begin again.  Find the positive things in life that bring us joy and start over.  Re-knit together the chains of our thoughts with validated facts and then understand those facts.  From there we can try to see a theme, story or situation from 360 degrees instead of a limited one or two degrees with assumption.

There are so many ways we lead ourselves down darkened alleyways where villains loom in the dark shadows with every step.  Well, what are you trying to teach yourself?  If you want to continue, free will dictates you absolutely can.  But if you don't want to, you can go back to the start, re-engage in your journey with different goals, considering actions and the most likely consequences (grounded in fact and not assumption) and start down another road.  When you find some roads that unfortunately seem to have a gaping abyss blocking your progress, find a way around them, over them or under them or back track and find yourselves a different road to travel.  You have so much more power than you know and everything you do teaches others around you.  Your lives are never worthless and they always have meaning.  You are a bright and beautiful soul with love to give, love to receive, dreams to create and dreams to live.  You empower yourself when you refuse to don the garment of the victim and wrap it around you close.  Throw it off and stand there expecting the light to come and show you a better way.  It will come and should you happen to run into one of those rare villains out there - realize you face a soul mired in darkness.  Don't let them pull you into their hell.  Understand, heal yourselves, allow the light of love in and live this life like you mean it.  There are so many beautiful tools at your disposal but none more great than the love and wisdom from within your own soul. Count your blessings knowing that what you focus on most is what you will create to experience.  Look for darkness, you will find it.  Look for the light and you will find it and once you find the light, you will better understand the darkness if it should come and will be better able to deal with it in your world.  Thinking positive doesn't mean you won't ever have a bad day again.  But it does mean that when life's challenges happen, you will be better equipped to find the love, light, wisdom and understanding of the "bad" things that happen.  Sometimes those "bad" things can turn out to be blessings in disguise.

Blessings of love, healing and light dear ones.  Make it a great life...start now!

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

Heart

What do you do when the words won't come to say those things you most wish to say? I think the resistance and silence speak for themselves and perhaps it is time to rest and be still.  When the pull of the moon on the tides rests, the water can flow more smoothly, calmly and steadily unprovoked through unseen magnetized motion.  Perhaps a thought may be easy to choose from within the mists and swirl and commit to the land of the two dimensional as the force behind them, the impetus pushing settles to calm, peaceful repose.  I wonder now as I sit here with these thoughts of mine what a funny thing it is at all to attempt to commit 3, 4 and 5 dimensional feeling and vibration into two dimensional black and white in order to be understood.  The problem is more than half of the meaning and is lost.  At such realization, I abandon the beginnings and endings and begin again and again.  So, I sit and wait, hope and pray the right words materialize or maybe start a little closer to source and focus more on the feelings themselves that desperately seem to be begging for prompt release.  They must be complete and resolved or else they will stay mired in the foggy mist of a restless mind.

So, what then is this resistance at all I wonder deep within my core.  I'd like to say I haven't any idea but I'd be lying to myself.  I know the core, well familiar with the source and yet I am puzzled at the direction of resolve.  Is it that there is no resolution at all to be had from the many particles in this equation struggling so hard to resolve itself to the right answer.  Maybe there is no answer but that doesn't work because the equation still strives to resolve itself and therein lies the heart of the resistance. You cannot solve a puzzle, a riddle or an equation without all of its parts in one place from which you can engage the mind to arrange and rearrange.  Yes, that's it, the missing piece.  So what then is a soul to do who seeks resolution but parts are missing?  It leaves a soul stuck for an eternity and then, things remain unfinished and forever unresolved.  To what do I owe the presence of this wonder, hmmm, I wonder.  What did I do or what have I not done...there is no way to an end from this part of the page and there is no bridge from which to return to where it formed and began.  Stasis...I hold with great contempt even thought I know I understand stasis is required as all the puzzle pieces are formed.  Impatience grows to epic proportions and yet, there is a strange peace in the silence and in the letting of everything swirl.  Perhaps the solution is there is no solution and I've invited this turmoil for the sheer hunger for it.  But that, doesn't make sense to a rational mind and maybe my premise is off altogether.  I have wandered back to the beginning so many times.  I've gone over every single and beautiful line and although I'm all-the-wiser for my effort, a labor of love, I am no closer to solving than I was in the beginning.

I rest my weary aching mind and drift on a memory that floats on a cool morning breeze.  The clouds have obscured my view - a metaphor in a way that which solidifies a new and emerging assumption - that it is emotion that obscures this truth but this truth is the heart of emotion...the heart, I pause and breathe...and think and know.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo is a random internet find).

What Pain Needs

Pain does not need a villain.  Although, those in pain readily seek one and there truly is no shortage of options in choosing one.  But, in that choice we have unwittingly relegated ourselves, with permission, to the land of the victims.  The most tragic thing about this is we mire ourselves in the lower vibrations and if we resonate there and take it in a little too much, we trap ourselves in a very dark prison that is hard to break free from.  Others come along when they find people in such prisons and they throw the door open wide with love and light and the victim thinking he is still trapped within will claw and grab at those bending light in their direction and pull them into the mix and then the light bringer becomes a villain too.  Often times a heartless unfeeling villain in the eyes of the victim who just wants sympathy without realizing that such conditioning the exhibition of love in such a way serves only to generate and energy that can only reinforce their weakened state.  Its a very thick and tangled web that can strangulate and cut off all feeds of love.  That is where choices come in and I highly recommend that the light bringers and light benders of this world become acutely aware of their roles...stand always in the light of love...understand and see definitive truth before you.

A soul must choose darkness or light even in the face of very real and damaging seeming villains.  The villains can usurp free will in a heart beat but what happens next can give them even more power.  If we succumb to a victim mentality, we continue to feed the villains.  Realize at some point the villains have themselves become victims and unwittingly changed their behavior in defense, often.  When we cut ourselves off from love, we can more easily succumb to the darker sides of human nature but this is not necessary and this is what the internal battle over dark and light each soul must face is really about.  When our emotions lead us down dark roads and alleyways it is so difficult to find our way out.  It requires time, space and finding some way to reconnect to a positive and uplifting feed - nature, friends, family, etc. - until we can begin to feed ourselves once again. When we can find opportunity in even the challenging things in life, we grow.  When we let life knock us down and keep us down and add further insult to injury by cutting ourselves down with our own victimizing thoughts, we feed the darkness within us and we suffer greatly for it.  We can just as easily feed the light within us by seeking the truth of each situation, striving to understand the lesson and realizing pain does not need a villain...pain does not need someone to blame...pain does not need sympathy or rescue...Pain needs one thing...love and lots of it.

Just some food for thought for those who wish to entertain this concept.  I pray you find the light of love...if you have any trouble, just let me know - I've got an abundance and will send it your way at any time.  Much love, light and understanding on your journey dear ones.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo is a random but beautiful internet find)

Bloom

I woke up with the sun this morning.  I was lost in meditation last night for 30 minutes and the peaceful calm that came was still with me when I opened my eyes.  I laid there for a few moments just listening to my surroundings...sparrows and crows, cars humming along the busy street and an occasional dog barking.  There are those who detest city life.  It's chaotic and there is a continual hum often perceived as just too much for the truly peace-loving.  I suppose city life isn't for the fainthearted.  I, however, find great comfort in my surroundings.  Surrounded by people one hardly has a chance to feel lonely and isolated.  You do have to look a little harder to find nature's beauty but it is still there in smaller patches of perfectly trimmed green grass and meticulously manicured trees and flowers but it's there.  There are a bunch of purple flowers right outside my front door.  The humming birds love them.  As I sit in my living room typing away, I can hear their wings and it reminds me of tiny little heart beats.  I get so excited when I hear them and I usually am very quick to set down my computer just to go and catch a glimpse of them.  They are a favorite along with the little blue birds and blue jays.  Their color so striking in a place where they are so very rare.  I can hear a little humming bird clicking and chirping just now.  There is a cadence to their chirping that one can count.  It's consistent and each one chirps to a different count.  1-2-3-4 pause 1-2-3 pause 1-2-3-4-5-6.  It's amazing.  I wonder what it is the collection of their tiny little chirps mean.

But there is language in sound and the trick first is to pick it out among the other sounds.  Then as you listen you learn to feel the difference in cadence or projection.  There are otherworldly communications out there too along the lines of the angelic.  It's hard to understand the language at first but once you pick up on the cadence that is almost always connected to a physical representation of some sort and then emotional sensation, you realize you are hearing a distinct language.  Over time you begin to understand what the words and sentiments mean.  It takes time and practice but its a rewarding experience to expend the time and effort to become aware when it strikes.  Trees can speak to you as well along with the ocean, flowers and plants.  Call me crazy if you'd like but these experiences are so peaceful, loving and beautiful. If I must be crazy to be able to understand and feel the beautiful feelings these communications bring then label me nutzo and be done with it.  I will not change because communicating with nature and all things in existence is simply amazing.  In fact, lately I find that communicating with nature is much easier than with people.  I love all things but the most painful communications I've ever had is with people.  But even the painful exchanges can be so very beautiful.  If you can step back from the emotion of it and seek to understand where another soul is coming from, there is almost always a beautiful lesson in store for you.  When we counter a painful exchange with our best listening skills followed by an earnest effort to understand, you may soon see the seemingly painful exchange is in actuality a beautiful lesson of life and love in progress.

It's funny how we go through life not understanding so much that is really happening all around us.  The colors, the vibrations, the physical sensations and energetic exchanges - all intangible seeming but so very meaningful to the acutely aware.  While we live our lives in a dream of all of those things we are taught here on Earth, we forget the truth, we forget how open we truly are to seeking love, light and deep meaning in everything.  Idle chit chat is fine upon first meeting and greeting but if you can't dive into the deep end of the pool from time to time, how on Earth are you ever going to be able to truly live your life with your full faculties of present focus, present awareness and see the beauty of it all?  You can miss so much unwittingly if you are not looking.  What motivates you?  There is even a message of deep understanding in that for you whatever it is.  If we could exit our fear of judgment and stop our own judging of self and others, we immediately throw open wide the doors of the foggy mists of misunderstanding and learn so much about our existence.  Superficial is for neophytes!  Neophytes have an important role to play but they are learning in baby steps.  Take huge leaps of awareness by opening up to life and love and you will be rewarded by so much.  Or, keep yourself closed off like a flower not permitted to bloom...the choice is yours...but have you ever tried to stop a flower from blooming?  Can you imagine how it might whither on it's strong and beautiful stem?  It would be like trying to hold back nature herself.  Much more difficult than just allowing nature to run it's course.  Bloom beautiful dreamers!  Open up your hearts and souls and learn to see, feel, hear and experience life from new perspectives.  Allow the growth your own soul dictates and you will know bliss and you will understand true joy. ~Simply put, have a beautiful day etched finely in great love and light!

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo/words)

In Between

 Pearl Jam - Release, a glass of white and a slowly sinking sun to end this day.  I am at peace in this moment...lost in thought and the words..."release me...release me" play on in the background.  I can certainly resonate with that concept just now.  There has been something I've been working through for over a year.  Its one of those things that grips you at the level of the soul and takes so much time to truly understand and then, just when you think you've got it nailed down, it shifts and changes and then you shift and change and then the original concept couldn't even know itself if it stood looking in the mirror. 

Mmmmmm, Beethoven, Moonlight Sonata just shuffled into play and the tones resonate so deeply I am momentarily lost, adrift in a beautiful sea of pure emotion.  The trees are all etched now in fiery gold signaling progress with the sunset.  Finally a sea breeze to chase away the humidity a bit.  A rare quiet moment alone is in store this evening.  These are such a treat for me.  They give me time unhindered by obligations to think and more importantly, to feel my way through life lessons.  It's one thing to consider a lesson but it is quite another to allow yourself the space to breathe through the emotion of it.  Emotion can be a challenging thing sometimes but I assure you, it's ultimately good no matter which end of the pendulum the emotions swing.  It's acting when emotional that can become a problem.

I wish I could speak more plainly but sometimes its more important to focus on a theme and protect others involved who are also learning.  Have you ever wanted something and not wanted it at the same time?  I think that is the space a lesson has lead me and I don't understand the dichotomy.  I will in time because I refuse to give up and I never give in.  There is purpose for everything and everything matters.  But this thing, I'm learning a lesson in closure I think and this one is as complex as a summer day is long. So, I seek the bits and pieces of it that I can and I try to wing may way through the rest but there is an aspect that holds me back.  I can't move on from it and yet I can't quite let it go.  I have wrestled with this for a very long time.  Part of the equation has resolved itself and yet my thoughts do not coincide.  This is an important lesson as it leads to another that shall soon become my full force of focus.  I can feel it as surely as I'm sitting here breathing.

Perfect, Temple of the Dog, Times of Trouble shuffles in.  I laugh at the random shuffling of my music tonight.  I like to let the music choose itself sometimes and just go with it to see where it leads me.  Music and emotion go hand in hand as does a beautiful fiery sunset in the summer.  Gosh it feels like heaven just now.  A beautiful display and the wine is cold, ever so slightly sweet.  I savor the taste and the chill as I consume it.  Lately it seems feeling everything has become such a focus.  Pulling the all of you in tune with all that is just isn't an easy thing.  But if I don't pull all of these lessons together, synthesize them properly, I will be doomed to repeat them.  While we have all the time in the universe to learn what we must, I hate retaking a class.  I never liked reruns or leftovers either - well, except for pizza.  It just goes great with coffee sometimes (I know, I know...ewh).

If life were not so amazing and beautiful, I'd be rendered to tears just now.  I am kind of teary eyed from the pure pristine beauty I see so often.  So many souls have entered my sphere in the last 18 months and each brought me a lesson of great worth...a lesson of unimaginable value and each revealed a facet of something bigger I have been working on for a very long time.  It's not the "meaning of life" kind of stuff.  I guess you could say it's more the meaning of my life.  Everything I thought I held as truth has disintegrated into something even more amazing and beautiful and yet, I find I struggle with the freedom of it.  I guess like a prisoner caged, you get so used to the cage that you cannot comprehend what it means to step outside of an open door.  You've forgotten what an open door was or how to use it. 

Wow, the music is really on point tonight - Pink Floyd, Coming Back to Life just shuffled in and hearing that guitar intro while the sun makes its final descent into the horizon - there could be no more perfect audio visual for me in this moment.  The energy rises for me at this time of night.  It's palpable almost what happens in the transition times - that pause between day and night...and then again...from night to daylight.  Perhaps it is that concept I struggle most with...my life is in that in between state from night into daylight and it's been a long pause to consider everything up to this point.  And the words...Staring straight into the shinning sun...yeah...I can see it setting and metaphorically rising into my view for this phase I find myself.  I may not get it all figured out but I can bravely face any day I've learned.  I've walked through fire and ice, mastered many of my own evil seeming demons time and time again...I stand here tested, a bit weary but more than ready to face the day that begins to dawn.  I think I'm going to see if I can find some pink clouds to shoot with my trusty friend Nikon and relax myself into a pleasant and quiet meditation for a time.

I hope that whatever plagues your mind with worry, that what ever lessons it is your mind is trying to understand, that you realize the sunrise always follows the darkness and it will shine on you once again.  Don't give up hope and never give in...give this life your best and it will give back to you in kind.  ~Blessings dear dreamers.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (words and photo only)  Video copyright is posted on youtube. :)

Superimposed

What an amazing view this morning!  The skies were clear cerulean blue at 7:30 am when I dropped my youngest off at summer camp.  We both noticed how beautiful the sun looked making it's way ever higher into a beautiful morning summer sky.  The humidity was already beginning to climb and it was very warm.  I signed her in, gave her a hug and a kiss and headed out the door.  My clear blue sky had, in a matter of a few minutes, become streaked and dotted with clouds again.  The clouds appeared as a bright opalescent white painted images against the contrasting depths of pure blue.  It was just more than beautiful.

Not quite ready to return home, I headed for Starbuck's.  I'm guilty of the need to satisfy a mocha craving now and then and today was just such a day.  The line of cars at the drive-thru was wrapped around the building so, I parked and walked inside. To my pleasant surprise and fully realizing I had good coffee karma, only a small handful of souls were inside waiting.  I had my mocha in hand and was headed out the door in a matter of minutes.  I'm moving in slow motion today for the sheer joy of appreciating every single moment, every single view, experience and even emotion.  Not ready to return home, I decided to head towards the beautiful Pacific coast.  I'm blessed in that I live only a few short miles from the beach and most days off, I'm usually headed to the ocean for a drive or a walk.  There is something about the ocean that reminds me of elsewhere...a place somewhere in time and so I go and love precious moments spent communing with the tides and feeling the raw energy and power of the sea.  Did you know if you sit there long enough, opening up all of your senses, you can hear the ocean speaking to you?  You have to spend some time learning it's language but it speaks in loving and soothing tones.  It's definitely a wise source of amazing power and it is all too willing to fill up all of your empty parts if you ask nicely and wait patiently.  I decided to park and take a closer look this morning and it was just incredibly beautiful.  I was filled with so much gratitude for the simple things in my life like a mocha, a paid day off to roam the south land and explore and maybe come home and finish up some writing projects.  Having emptied my soul of heavy thoughts for days on end, this little trip to the shore was like a much needed mini vacation.

As I sat on the shore I was transported to another stretch of ocean in another place more precious to me than there are words to convey.  I somehow seemed to be in both places at once and was struggling with my vision of blue skies and pink skies, two suns and one and just relaxed into an ethereal and physical ocean breeze.  I glanced to my right and I could see a silhouette elsewhere... a presence known and loved by me for all of eternity.  We did not speak but words were never needed between us. I thanked this amazing soul for his presence.  I'm grateful for it immeasurably.  I glanced to my left to see the sun rising higher in a blue sky.  I turned back to look again and elsewhere had dissipated into the mists that suddenly struck here in my world.  I smiled from so deep inside of me for a beautiful view both here, there and everywhere.  I'm reminded at once how precious life is in all of its dimensions, at all of it's levels.  There are so many miracles right before our eyes but we cannot see them until we wish to see them and then when we do we must know that we do see them and embrace the reality of a truth we're not taught here.  There is truth a soul my find and embrace completely unassisted in the physical.  However, we are never alone and ethereal assistance remains steadfast whether or not we can see.

I begin to feel my many unfinished projects calling to me and so, I stand up and dust off the sand from my person.  Mocha in hand I toast the beauty and glory of the sea, my well of inspiration, representative of the depths of my love for this life.  I sigh a little not wanting to leave.  Would that I could I'd sneak back through the veil to my favorite shoreline elsewhere.  But, I'll save that for later - a tasty desert after finishing another beautiful day in paradise.

Sometimes in life there are things we do not see because we will not allow our minds the freedom to roam.  While there are rules and limits to what we can do with our physical bodies, there is an aspect to our personages that is completely unlimited by the same confines.  Let your spirits roam where ever it is they will and experience life from both sides of the veil from time to time.  Its only as difficult as you believe it to be.  ~May you be blessed with unlimited vision today and the freedom to feel all of the things and beings speaking to you.  Much love!

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo is a random and fortunate internet find)

Free Will, Integrity and Love

Oh my the things the last few days have revealed to me.  The amazing clouds of late disappeared yesterday into a clear sea of cerulean blue and the sun was so amazing in the sky.  I can't remember a time it has seemed so bright.  I can't help but wonder if our vision changes when the fog of misunderstanding is lifted from our souls.  Life is a great mystery slowly revealed over time to those who observe, listen and open up to love and learning.  I have been ignorant of many things for far too long.  I have to catch myself with such thoughts because the truth is, no time spent here incarnate is ever truly wasted.  When we learn, we free ourselves to live life differently.  The whole of my life has existed on one misguided premise, one that lurked below the surface of my normal consciousness but guided my every thought and action.  I felt it beneath the surface pulling at me in every single interaction I've ever had and I wondered about it often.  I pulled it out into the light of day and I began to understand just exactly what it was, why it was born and why it compelled me often into action.

All of my life I have existed in some way or another to remove pain from my existence and the existence of those around me.  I came here thinking there had to be a better way to shape a soul than pain.  While that is true, there is a better way to learn, a soul sometimes creates pain for its own purposes.  To take that away from someone robs them of a very valuable experience.  Every emotion is worthy of the time spent with it.  The lesson is to understand it, why it was created and how it can be placed in proper perspective for highest learning and growth.  Some feel absolutely compelled to rescue other souls and they do so without thinking of the consequences of their actions and how it interfere's with free will.  Rescue seems noble and I suppose in some cases it is but when you begin to understand the construct and framework of this place, you start to realize that rescue is not always needed.  Some like the experience of selfless service to others and that's a beautiful thing.  But, if a soul never learns to rescue him or herself, he or she will always be searching for another's light to guide them when their own light is what will bring them the most benefit.

I was told before I came here I was free to explore and learn and do what seemed to call from me deep within my soul but I was given three rules...honor free will, embody integrity in all interactions and look for the love in every situation and encounters to find greater understanding.  At times I did not understand free will and the concept of allowing the choices of others to be as they are even when they create so much pain.  In time I learned that the greatest love you can show another is to let them make their own choices without any interference at all.  To honor these choices exhibits the highest integrity and when you look deeply, you can find the love through understanding the 'rules' so-to-speak.  Upon my realization I was rewarded with a freedom never before known.  Life is beautiful and amazing and wonderful.  It's so good to be here and every single soul in existence is so very beautiful.  We cannot always see that but it's only because we are not privy to each soul's development plan.  So, we judge and manipulate to try to get out of human interactions those things we think are right.  But, we're often wrong, so very wrong.  It's okay and perfect to be wrong.  But learning from our errors, nothing can feel more right!

So, my journey takes a twist and a turn and it is understanding that shines like the light of the sun and the beauty of it like the sea of cerulean blue as it swims through each day.  I pray you have a beautiful day where your free will is honored, your associates impress you with great integrity and that you see and feel the love around you to the point that it brings you the peace of true understanding.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (words/photo)

Changing Tides

Adrift on tides of emotion, I watch again the clouds roll in.  A quiet, warm and protected time of deep thoughts and memories finds me. I sort through them understanding some, at a complete loss contemplating others and wondering why they should come unbidden all at once in this moment.  The air is so thick today, at least it seems so.  Is it merely the humidity of a passing summer storm or is it something more...a product of deep thought?  Again I walked along the veil last night in a vision of emptiness and every-thing-ness.  I sent my thoughts out far and wide because I no longer wanted them.  I wanted only to feel what it felt like in my own soul.   It felt ageless and peaceful, knowledgeable and wonderful and yet these words mean nothing to a soul.  It doesn't matter whether I find a way to comprehend what I experience here now or thousands of years from now.  Time is only meaningful to those in a body but beyond that it means nothing.  But I'm here now, in a body, in a realm or is it a dream?  I only know that more than anything in me I wanted to come here.  And even though here in this dream I stand, I begin to see the error of my ways. To rest the biggest part of a soul, the impetus for being everything you've been because it is no longer necessary and never was is well, a strange realization.

This world and her peoples are not in need of saving, they are in need of love and understanding, compassion and freedom...permission to be who they are and a space free enough from judgment for them to fully realize and remember why they came here.  No one can give them these true life sustaining things as meaningfully as they can give to themselves.  But, it's a long lonely stretch of life's pathways to come to this conclusion.  So, what then for those who can see and yet are powerless to assist?  I don't know.  We live and breathe, I suppose.  Some of us came here too with a sense of service so strong and compelling it overrules all rhyme and reason.  What happens when you take away a soul's sense of purpose or a soul realizes that purpose is not required?  It isn't always a slow, agonizing fate worse than death.  In those moments a soul is free to create within this realm, this frame and lucidly dream their dreams.  It's a beautiful albeit an interesting shift in thinking that is required to embrace the possibilities.

It isn't easy to accept the premise that all is as it should be, choices are made or not and no one has the right to step in and circumvent choices except maybe where one soul's choice results in the over-imposition of it's free will on another who is not accepting.  I still wonder what a mender of souls would do with no souls to mend?  What does a painter do with no more art left to paint or a photographer with no camera? There is a need within for a certain kind of expression that is no longer required so what then?  I just don't know but I am not limited by the usual and typical thoughts of this realm and, so, I think I shall just live and enjoy the sunrise and sunset - feel the pure bliss inside whenever I catch a glimpse of the stars in a pure black sky.  Sometimes what we think we are is not what we are to become and it is in the becoming that there are so many beautiful and indescribable things at work.  So, I must search deep within for that which also calls to me and engage in thoughts along different lines and create differently for the sheer joy of creation.  Receiving inspiration is a beautiful experience and I am grateful for the awareness that allows me to tune in.  I think I shall spend the rest of my days counting blessings and rainbows, the myriad of colors in sunsets and sunrises and maybe the birds I've seen spreading their wings in free flight.  Yes, a retirement of sorts and a freedom there too whether not I can fully appreciate it as yet.  I laugh and I cry but I'm grateful for a change in direction. So be it.

If you seek to understand your true purpose, you will find it.  If you are open to the truth that comes back, the conflict within you will rest.  You are infinitely powerful when standing in your own love and light so, go be beautiful precious dreamers. ~Blessings.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo/words)

Within You

I watched the clouds barely visible in the cool and dark of the morning.  The last view of the stars was a joy to watch as the night slowly faded into day and the Earth turned.  The brightest one in the sky caught my attention for some reason.  All the stars but that one seemed to go out in that moment.  I turned away a few moments and looked back and with a smile I noticed it too had gone out.  I can feel moisture on the wind as I realize those clouds are the beginnings of another gentle summer storm.  I'm grateful as the water brings with it a refreshing reprieve from the heat of summer.  I'm grateful as I stand here consciousness stretched far and wide and wondering what the day will hold.  The general feeling of the latest days gone by have been anxious and eager interchangeably.  It's almost as if I'm standing on the edge of something and the full view of what is to come will magically appear like the valley floor when approaching the top of a mountain ridge.  Yes, it has been a very long but rewarding climb to get to where I am now, standing near the edge of a precipice yet again.

Life is like that I suppose.  We go through our lives day in and day out, climbing mountains of lessons, viewing the terrain, more peaks and some valleys and we just take it all in, label it and register it somewhere within the farthest reaches of our reaching minds.  I seek greater depths and understanding of life and must admit there are some things I wish I had no understanding of.  It might make life much easier for me but, then again, I enjoy the effort of climbing, learning, taking in new views from ever higher vantage points.  Like everyone else does I have my emotions purposefully and also unwittingly attached to thoughts that race through my mind sometimes undetected until they collect en mass and I must think hard and feel my way through all that I have collected.  All is peaceful in my world in this moment and the beauty I see as the gray clouds appear suddenly painted pink along their edges, the darkness erased and soon to be replaced by pure pristine and opalescent white.  A tingling sensation rushes through my whole being as the golden rays of the sun appear adding a new mix of colors and sensations for my appreciation to take in.

I wonder about all the things that have come before and all the questions I've been left with from human interactions.  It would be easy to focus on walking the path of others pointing out their mistakes, behavioral misfires and lack of forethought.  But I realize the path of others is not mine to walk.  I cannot walk the path of the other from the starting point that is me.  My knowledge rests in the journey of my own path which differs from those I see around me.  Oh, some may seem similar but to judge them based on my thoughts and experience would be short sighted and I know me, I would do so only when there was some aspect of my own journey I'm refusing to face.  This knowledge within me always pulls me back to my own road I walk mostly with courage and conviction but its a steep uphill climb sometimes and sometimes, I'll be honest, I just get weary.  Such times are not long lived and I know all I need to do is pause, think, regroup, take a very deep breath, stand and just place one foot in front of the other.  Mechanically it isn't so very difficult but emotionally sometimes its a chore.  I've dreams yet to create and many things yet to learn and more fully comprehend and I will not achieve that goal without proper focus on just where it is I place each step on my path.  Whatever it will turn out to be, it will be and I realize its my job only to show up, fully present on my own journey and hold a measure of respect for the lessons that others are learning here too.  So, off I go then.  May your journey be blessed with peace, patience, accurate perceptions, courage and love dear souls.  This life is a beautiful journey, your own lives are blessed with twists and turns, climbing and resting.  Enjoy every aspect and count your blessings more than resenting what you think you lack.  Everything you truly need is already within you.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo is a random internet find)

The Veil Thins

The veil that separates us from our ultimate destinies, thins at certain places in time and this directly correlates to the depths of our inner awareness.  As our awareness grows, so too does our openness and ability to connect with others at the same level of awareness.  One can walk the same stretch of beach day in and day out never noticing others or doorways to other worlds of thought until one has achieved a certain level of understanding.  We remain trapped sometimes in these mini vortexes of limited thought until we walk out the other side with greater knowledge and understanding.  Sometimes we need a little help and the veil thins enough to see and hear those who have been where you are and they can reach out or pull you into a whole other level of awareness that promotes even further growth for you along the paths that is your lives.  In a sense and in that regard, we're never left to our own devices for long.  We live, we love, we learn and we grow and the veil thins and new souls enter our realm or we become superimposed upon the view of others.  They may not be able to see us as yet but as their level of awareness grows, so too does their ability to see and hear.

There are times it seems we are left alone, we are stagnant and waiting for something new to arrive.  I'd say that's not really the truth.  The veil can seem quite opaque at times and we don't see those standing there waiting for us to look up and see.  But once we do reach out with our minds, expand our consciousness if even just a little, we find ourselves surrounded with all manner of souls waiting to converse and to share of themselves to help enrich your life and allowing you to enrich theirs.  You can feel the veil thinning at times - that hum that seems to come from nowhere, that tingling feeling you can physically feel with no logical explanation or that sense that your name has been whispered on some far away wind.  Little clues that the time comes close for paying more attention to our surroundings and understanding where the veil thins and we begin again to communicate with those who also have been ready to connect.  It's a beautiful thing to find yourselves in the company of those who share new thought, new ideas and introduce us to new emotions.  Be grateful for every breath and step you have taken on your journey and know that all is truly in divine order.  Relax then and enjoy the forrests and trees, valleys and hills, oceans and deserts you find along the way.  It may seem that you encounter some lonesome stretches that leave you wandering contemplative.  Such times signal when the journey is about to get very interesting.  Pay attention to new thoughts and emotions and trust in your ability to always gain greater awareness and understanding.  Trust that you are guided even when the veil has not thinned enough for you to clearly see.  Your body will hear and your soul will hear the words whispered just for you.

Blessings of love, deeper understanding and higher awareness.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo is not mine but a random and beautiful internet find)

Gems in the Rubble

"You're going to have to go out there and do this," the ruggedly good looking middle aged man, with chestnut brown hair said as we were hunkered down in some kind of dirt bunker.  Shocked at my surroundings, I took a quick inventory of the scene.  Rubble, broken pieces of things that once were the typical trappings of an every day life lay in ruin every where.  "But how in the world am I going to survive this," I asked as if I somehow understood what had happened and what it was I was going to have to do.  Again, a part of the scenery came into focus and I saw a thick deep river of mud that I knew I was going to have to wade through.  I thought, how am I going to survive without food or water and how am I going to complete the tasks I have to complete with everyone depending on me?  I'm just one woman and I have no skills in this.  The man spoke again softly but with so much love and compassion that shown clearly and beautifully through crystal blue eyes nearly camouflaged behind a very dirty and dusty face, "You will have all of the love in the universe on your side sweet heart and you will have these."  His hand opened and in it were four emerald green clear oval items that almost looked like crystal Nyquil cold tablets.  "How in the world are these going to help me do this," I asked him. He mentioned a four day flight.  I looked at him and said, "Yeah, about flying...."  I woke with a start and found my surroundings had changed.  I was safe and sound in the comfort of my room surrounded by the low light of the television I forgot to turn off before drifting off to dream.  It was 12:38 a.m.  I got up for some water troubled knowing the dream wasn't a literal one but was, in fact, one of those soul gripping metaphors that will take time to fully comprehend.

I climbed back into my huge, soft and oh so comfortable bed.  The air coming in through my bedroom window was cool and comfortable. The sounds of the night a far cry more comforting than those in the dream.  I wondered who the man was and what he represented...a guide, a way out of whatever muck I was about to have to find my way through...imbued with what...these green crystal things that were some sort of saving grace...and then immediately thinking that green, green is the color of the heart chakra and it's energy is often more powerful than we humans give credit.  I was troubled a bit but took a deep breath, let it out slowly, turned off the TV and laid quietly in the darkness just focusing on the sound of my own heart beat. I drifted once again into the land of dreams.

Back into the scene I somehow fell and I was drinking water that was so dirty I thought for sure I was going to be battling malaria soon.  But I had to.  There was just no other way to survive.  The skies were gray and still there was nothing but rubble and dirt I wandered through alone.  I fought often to retain my balance and the ability to continue forward motion rather than dropping to my knees.  Somewhere within me the only drive I had was that I had to get to the other side of this war zone of sorts.  It felt very much "Mad Max" like.  A great upheaval had occurred and we, those of us who survived, had to fight to achieve the remainder of some mission I could not recall but felt deep within me.  I felt a strong and core level ache of loneliness wash over me and I was suddenly fighting back tears and I knelt down in the dust of a small hill to feel my way through it.  Superimposed over my vision, he came again.  He could project himself into my field of vision at will some how and he spoke again..."Sweetheart, don't give up.  I know how hard this trek alone is.  I know you don't understand so much of what you do but it matters so much more than you know. You carry my love with you always.  You can do this. You have to finish this so we can go home," he said again, with so much love in his eyes and in his voice and I could feel his energy encouraging my every step.  I felt bad for doubting myself...and I felt bad that I could not remember where I was going or what I was doing and frustrated as hell that no one could tell me.  I decided to stop my fears and my worries and I stood up and brushed the dirt from my jeans, I pushed back long wisps of very dusty wild blonde locks, found a piece of string and tied it back so I could see.  I didn't like what lay ahead of me but I started walking again with a sense of conviction that I don't even understand how it could exist within me considering what I faced.  I reached in my pocket for the little crystal green oval things and took them out.  They glittered even in the low light of a thick gray cloud cover and they somehow seemed to emanate their own light and a tingling energy I could feel in my left hand.  I looked up and smiled thanking the Gods for them even though I didn't understand what they were or what the heck I would do with them.  I stuffed the lonely feelings down deep within me as I put the gems back into my pocket.  I began climbing another hill of rubble following a weak trail of light and some unknown compass within me.

My eyes opened again and I saw that I was safe and sound in bed still.  The sun was just coming up and I could hear the birds begin to sing.  A night filled with Mad Max dreams I don't understand with my logical mind... but somehow my soul has already begun to deconstruct and analyze it.  I have theories and ideas and I plan to test each one.  Sometimes our dreams don't seem pleasant at all but they stick with us and seem to grip us at the core of our very souls.  Those are the ones I pay attention to most as those are the ones that have given me the greatest insights into the happenings of my own life.  I understand this dream and the energy of recognition runs along my skin as the hair stands straight on end with seeming chills of acknowledgement.  Grateful to be awake and that there exists in this world a wonderful invention known as a coffee pot, a full store of coffee in my pantry and a refrigerator stocked with delicious sweet cream.  I had much to ponder as I sat up slowly.  I debated whether or not I would share this series of dreams.  After a cup, the decision was made and, so, here it is.

Dreams are not insignificant things.  It is how our minds work out the details we cannot quite grasp while awake and distracted but their themes - once you can fully taste them, are beautiful indicators of direction, summaries of thought and the ideas that create within us hope and faith. ~Blessings as you journey through this dream.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo and words)

Stand Up, Step Out

It is by far too easy to complain about your every experience. In so doing, you relegate yourself to a vast land of victims and villains. It's a scary and dark place dear ones and the more you look out from your beautiful eyes and see this and only this, you close yourself off from love. You are not trapped in this vast land by anything other than the prison of your own thoughts and the emotions you choose to attach to your thoughts. You can stand up at any moment, reach for the love inside, take accountability and responsibility for your life and it's experiences and watch hell disappear before your very eyes. You can then step out and make your way, step by step to the heaven of an existence where you reinforce your experience with belief in you, love for you and a better life for you. It takes time to understand this construct in this frame but if you are willing, there will be a way for you to get there...one step and one loving breath at a time. You will always be guided and loved and you are never alone. ~Blessings of love and infinite light!

Exercising Fears

There are times in our lives where certain situations repeat.  Maybe the faces and places have changed but there is a theme that seems to recur.  Some of those situations and themes can evoke fears from deep within us.  When this occurs, it is all too easy to cut and run from whatever it is that you face.  But, what if we suspended judgment for a moment and contemplated what has come before us?  What if we decided to seek to understand what the fear really stems from?  The very same thing that happened before in our lives could come to pass yet again reinforcing the fear or something different could occur.  I don’t know about you but this has occurred for me a time or two and all too often I have flat out cut and run as fast away and as far away as I could go and in so doing, I missed a valuable opportunity to take a look at my own core and understand where the original wound that created my fear lies hidden.

We judge things so easily based on our own fears and it colors our experience in ways that may not really be the most helpful to us.  Now, I’m not saying that if in the past you have turned the fire on the stove and stuck your hand in it and were horribly burned that the next time you turn the fire on you should stick your hand in and suffer burns again.  Only you can decide if the situation you face is truly that or something else.  What I’m suggesting is that you seek to understand IF it is really that or IF it is something else.  Things are so often not what we think they are.

Getting to the core of our wounds is not an easy thing by any stretch of one’s imagination.  But if we don’t find a way to get to the core of all of our wounds, we will carry the additional weight and burden of fears that will hold us back from truly enjoying our time here in some way.  This just doesn’t sound acceptable to me at all.  I do not wish to live a life full of fears, worries and the weight of wounds that makes it too hard to walk the path in my life.  Something from deep within me compels me to leave nothing unexamined in my life.  I refuse to continue to live this dream so deep asleep that I misunderstand the symbolism, themes and theories of my own existence that I created in response to this world.  I leave nothing unturned any longer.  My time here is limited and while I am here, I will understand the reasons I came, the fears I came to exercise and release within me finally and ultimately the pain of the wounds that I carry.  To not set this intent and strive to live it every day would be like taking away the very air I breathe.

Healing is one of the things I came here to do and I thank Source every day for every wound that has been inflicted, for every theme I have encountered that forces me to look courageously within to find the core of the fears created and for every single soul who has crossed my path to bring me messages like maps to lead me to buried treasure within me.  I cannot say that I am fearless but I will be courageous and unrelenting in terms of looking within for the answers I seek.  I may not want to see all of the things that I find but I will see the truth, I will find the fears and the wounds and I will heal them so I can move away from the heavier states of existence I have experienced during my time here.  I cannot stomach a single thought of remaining mired in my own illusions that will only ever lead me to face the same lessons again and again.  Without growth, time here is wasted time the way I think of it.  I will waste no more time…not a moment…not a day. 

I have found some things on my journey in this life that I might not have ever known had I not faced me and everything within me.  I have found a well of love so deep and so vast that I know it will carry me though.  I have also found strength and courage to face even the darkest parts of my own soul and still have the ability to own them, be responsible for the actions that resulted and embrace them.  I have also found deep faith and trust in the perfection of this Earth’s greater purpose.  Everything in life and in my life has been absolutely perfect in every possible way.  I am deeply grateful for the state of my existence and the ability to be willing to look in even the most painful places within and let the light of love shine.  It isn’t easy to do but it is worth it to relinquish one’s illusions and delusions and seek instead to understand we are nothing and lose nothing but embracing this beautiful fact.  No illusion can make you greater nor lesser than you already are.  Letting the illusions fall away with grace is an unbelievably freeing and healing experience.  Once you find one, walk through the pain of it and feel the power of letting go, you realize that there is no other way to live.  You begin to lose your need to judge and blame others because you understand  and for every single soul who has crossed your path to bring you messages like maps to lead you to buried treasure within you, you might actually learn to become grateful.

Examine your fears with courage and love, release all judgment of self, others and this world and seek to understand the true meaning of your life.  Every effort expended in these endeavors is worth more than anything else in your life you could possibly attain.  Healing is divine.  Find it.  Read about it.  Seek out teachers and guide and learn how to see the ones that are standing right there in the middle of your lives.  They are beautiful, your life can be beautiful.  You just need to be willing to expand and then change your perspective.  I wish you much strength, courage, love and light on your journey’s dearest souls.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo/words)