Oh goodness could I write a book on this topic! (I've already started one). People will tell you exactly who they are within minutes, hours or days of meeting and what they will end up doing to you should you refuse to be to them exactly what they want you to be. They will do this through manipulating you for sympathy and will be exacting in their blame about how all of the troubles and woes of their tragic life are due to the person that they love and adore. Such people truly have no honor nor accountability. Be not fooled by them for a moment. Those who proclaim so loudly to have been damaged and harmed by another insidious soul are actually telling you that they are a damaging, harmful and an insidious soul. What to do then when you find you are in the midst of such a soul? Distance, disconnect and strengthen your own self-love, separate from them whether they are family, friend or lover. Set a hard boundary and see it through and listen to not one word they say. Love them from afar as you would any soul in Source’s Creation but know definitively that not one single word a wounded soul screams at you or others about how horrible you are or someone else is-- is truth. You know the truth about you so discount the emotional and verbal attacks of those who proclaim to love you but then attack you as a person to your core. No soul has to stand there and take that. It is the most unloving thing a soul can do to itself. When crazy knocks at your door, simply refuse to open it. It is your right and it would be unloving of you to subject yourself to such torment. Walk away and hold your head high and know that not one word of vengeance or retaliation are necessary. State your truth with love and walk away...never look back. Hurt people hurt people and that, my friends is a definitive truth. You need not take that on nor own it. Pull away, love from afar and love yourself more than anything on this Earth. YOU ARE WORTH IT! <3
Be aware that there are souls in this world so wounded and damaged that they cannot take personal ownership for the woes in their world. They are damaged forever because of some evil woman or man and so their life lies in ruin at their feet. The reality is, the soul may be unable to help being wounded or victimized at some point in their lives but they absolutely can take accountability for what they will do about it in a healthy way. They can stop, at any time, from telling their dishonorable lies, tragic twisted partial truths and choking on their own poisonous toxic anger at any time they choose. Sometimes they won't though. Sometimes it is by far easier to blame and hate everyone than to face their own demons. Tragic but truthful. Know that with such souls, giving them sympathy reinforces their weakness. If you really want to help them, use empathy instead and give advice only when asked and if you give advice, refrain from any form of rescue. Reflect honorably what you hear them say and challenge them as to how they can change in an accountable fashion. If you are even slightly sensitive in nature, I don't recommend even engaging them. The thing is, because of their wounded state, at some point you will become their target. They'll use splitting techniques at some point announcing that people are either all good or all bad. They cannot comprehend reality and truth through their own pain so they'll make it up. Don't fall for it and see through the vicious words of anyone publicly claiming horrible truths to get even with someone. When you see anyone publicly claiming hateful words about another, realize that one day the person they hate will be you. People who possess so much hate are unable to refrain from making you their target at some point without psychological help.
Know the nature of the tragically wounded soul...see through the pain and understand where it comes from. Not one word they say is about anyone but themselves and they will tell the world exactly who they are by blaming someone for all of their wrongs and misery. Hidden in their proclamations about how horrible this person or that person was or is, they are telling you who they really are. The truth in what they say is not about the person they are claiming is all bad or all wrong...those truths are about them...about what burns within them from the inside of their wounded core. It's important to be able to recognize the Perpetual Victim because they can cause you great emotional harm but only when you do not see them (they hide very well). The "Misery Loves Company" axiom is more than truth with such individuals. Distance yourselves from the psycho dramas as is your right and your choice and be prepared to protect yourselves from the world-war-III approach they will take when you set a hard boundary. Be strong and loving with you. Get help if you must but tolerate bad behavior in another not for a single moment of your life. It is not gallant or honorable to sacrifice yourself for another soul's wounds. Especially when they have owned those wounds as part of their very existence. Telling them who you think they are is seen only as negative judgment and persecution so don't bother. Focus on what you will and won't tolerate and do not budge!
My sincere and honest wish is that all of the Perpetual Victims would find the strength to turn their focus inward on their own healing and forgiveness. For all the vitriol they put forth into this world, that energy is precious and could be used for their own healing if they would but seek it. Pray for them if you want to be helpful but do not stand in their presence a moment if it hurts you. You are under no obligation to take abuse, either emotional of physical from anyone ever. Every single one of us has choices to make and free will dictates our ability to play that out. Be loving and gentle with yourselves and know that not everyone is capable of healthy emotion. Understand this and move in tune with your own internal love and voice. You deserve to be surrounded by loving individuals who are truly kind and supportive of you. You deserve to disconnect from those who are jealous of you and must tear you apart in order to feel okay. Be watchful for those souls that proclaim so loudly they feel they must save the world from the bad souls in this world as these seemingly honorably stated desires come from their own doubt about the goodness in their souls. If they call everyone fakes, phonies and liars and persecute others for these things, it is because in truth, they know they embody these things and persecute themselves internally. Their actions are at the core, a very strong cry for help. Know these people when you see them. Do not wish them harm ever for in so doing, you bring only your own pain. Focus on love, light and loving actions for you and you can free yourself from the Perpetual Victims who live only to victimize until they learn the lesson is about healing themselves. Blessings of infinite love and light dear souls. May you all find healing and Source love within and without.
(c) 2011 (photo copyright is not mine)
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