Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Rainy Day Thoughts

I woke up to the sound of the rain gently falling outside my bedroom window. At once I felt the cold breeze and remembered that I left the window open. I beat the alarm this morning having had a full night of sleep; peaceful dreaming, warm thoughts but not wanting to move from the warm shelter and comfort of my bed. I got up and showered and made some coffee. Certain thoughts seem to be continually reverberating in my newly conscious mind, wondering, hopeful and ever thoughtful. It seems like California might float away with all of this rain. We’ve needed it so I’m grateful but the rain isn’t my favorite weather.

I’m recalling this morning still, all of the things I’m grateful for. I’m glad I’ve got my health, my children, friends old and new to experience life with. My job is a great source of positive challenge lately and I’m so happy to be doing work that I love. There is something amazing about work. It gives you a sense of purpose and accomplishment when you can muster the ability to do it well and it seems you do it well when you find something in it to enjoy. I’ve had my share of days where the only reason I came in was to the see the people I work with. I’m so lucky to have such a fantastic group of professionals to get through the day with. In fact, it hardly seems like getting through the day at all but more of something I really enjoy. I have to work, don’t get me wrong. Most days I’d rather be at the beach, or writing, or taking a drive along the coast. But, since I’ve got to work, I am grateful that I like what I do and the people I’ve got to do it with.

I’ve had such a long stretch of incredibly thought provoking experiences this last year and I think I’ve learned a lifetime worth of lessons in a mere 12 months. I understand now how the more you learn, the harder and faster the lessons seem to come. I’ve not had a break in that area and probably won’t until the day I die. That’s okay, life is meant to be lived and you might as well learn while you’re living, right? My thoughts leave the lessons behind and return to my warm cup of delicious coffee. I’ve got an easy day today at the office…lots of time to play in my mind and that makes me happy. There is a friend I’m thinking about today, as I have every day for several end to end. I’m wondering, I’m curious, I’m happy and content. Pleasant thoughts I must leave for now to begin my day but they’ll not be far from consciousness.

I think now about all of the friends I have. How nice it is to hear from them, learn about what’s happening in their lives and having the opportunity to learn not only from my own experiences in life but theirs as well. I’m a quick study in some things and I’m grateful for that. I’ve got a heart that although it seems it’s been broken and shattered too many times, feels completely whole and healed for the first time in a little while. I’ve got a pretty bright outlook that I fought to hold through much adversity and seeming chaos but I chose to hold that outlook. I chose hope and sanity. I chose peace and serenity over anger and sadness. Although it’s hard at times, I do practice what I preach when I can keep myself centered no matter what comes my way. Its hard and impossible some days and when that happens you just go with it and know it will pass and when you’re ready to give up anger, guilt and trying to control uncontrollable things, you naturally return to your center. I never really understood that before but I do today.

My thoughts have drifted and scattered like the tiny little rain drops blown in the wind. Time for more logical and rational thoughts held closer so that I can start my day in earnest. I have the same thoughts today that I do most…and that is that life is sometimes a struggle but it too is beautiful. You can change your perspective any time you choose but letting go over controlling the uncontrollable things and choosing peace rather than to become a victim of life or of others lacking scruples, knowledge or morals. Hell, some people are just sick individuals and truly deserve kind thoughts from us instead of feelings of anger and betrayal. You can’t stuff those feelings down when you encounter them. You have to acknowledge them and realize those thoughts originate within you and do not come from any outside sources or individual. We control what we feel ultimately but we just don’t realize that most of the time.

I really better get moving and get my girls off to school and myself off to work. I pray you have a beautiful day filled with magical thoughts, peace and serenity!

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