Friday, June 17, 2011
Vulnerability – Not a Fate Worse Than Death
The definition of “vulnerable” at (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/vulnerable) means that you are capable of being wounded…not that you are or will be. Our life experience often teaches us negatively that to be vulnerable is a bad thing because we could be wounded. So then, feeling vulnerable in the negative means that you are not living in the now moment. It means that you are standing there worried that your openness and authenticity will absolutely render you wounded and so you go to great pains and take great efforts to avoid it through worry, disguise, dishonesty and inauthentic behavior. You build walls a mile high and thick in order to achieve a sense of safety but that is an illusion…safety, that is.
Consider this for a moment, say you absolutely can successfully build invisible walls around you so that you will never be exposed to your core, never be seen for who and what you really are and that no one could ever reach you to hurt you because you have closed yourself off thinking your actions can prevent you from being wounded. I must ask you, what kind of life would you be able to live? How could you ever learn or grow if you prevent the pressures and pains in life that would turn your coal-like parts into beautiful sparkling diamonds? We don’t like pain. We are taught to fear and avoid pain nearly at all costs. Then begins an interesting dynamic of fear of the fear of pain which boxes you into behavior and decisions that are so far removed from your truest desires. I have to tell you that in my opinion, it takes by far more energy and effort to seal yourself off and protect yourself than it would to experience what life has to teach you, work through the emotions and then begin to learn and understand more about who you truly are.
It may be unpopular but I do not subscribe to the New Age thoughts of “eradicate the ego” or “eradicate fear.” The fact that we come here equipped with these two great challenges speaks to me in volumes of the perfect design we are as is. The ego and fear (they are so closely related in function) are to be understood. These things are not bad or evil in and of themselves…it is our reaction to them that becomes the problem…our addiction to remaining in a state of fear to generate adrenaline to make us feel alive. Maybe? The ego does not like vulnerability. It is, by its very nature, fearful. There is no need to resist or hate that part of us. In so doing, our hatred could tear us apart and we then are committed to living life ever after…fragmented. This is not good. We cannot be effective in this life if we are not whole and living authentically.
I do not LOVE vulnerability and I struggle with it like everyone else on the planet does but I will NOT resist it. I will instead acknowledge it when it is triggered in the negative and then seek immediately to understand why it exists in a particular moment. In this way, I can take advantage of a unique opportunity to peer into the soul of the person I truly am…understand my failings and weaknesses and do so with others who might be able to support and assist me to the extent I am willing to grow and change…or evolve into a higher being of love. When others are vulnerable with you, consider the rare and amazing gift that is. Someone feeling safe with you or the need to open up to you is giving you an opportunity to rise to a higher level of awareness and allow the love within you to grow while you walk through whatever it is with someone else.
Vulnerability is not inherently bad. Being vulnerable is a good thing…it’s an opportunity to be treasured and worked with, not something to fear or avoid. Food for thought…Love and light all!