Thursday, November 4, 2010

Ego Games

Driving to work yesterday, gorgeous fall sunny morning, radio playing my favorite tune…when suddenly the red car just ahead of me changes lanes without signaling way too short in front of white car…white car nearly takes off my front fender trying to get into my lane just so he can do the same thing to red car.  I watched in awe and I was so sad.  One careless move, for reasons unknown…assumed to be personal and retaliation ensued and then the game continued for about 2 miles and then I lost them in the sun.  It made me so sad to see this.  I can’t tell you how much.  Retaliation and vengeance are so unnecessary, not to mention the harm that might have come to innocent bystanders just to prove an egotistical point.  Wasted time.

Later in the day, in the zone, communications humming right along and I hear it…the sound of someone’s obviously wounded ego taking pleasure in a small way in someone else’s pain.  The pleasure in noticing someone else’s pain was painful for me to hear and witness.  I shook my head silently and looked at the floor.  Sometimes it is so hard to be here at this time and witness the unnecessary pain inflicted again and again and again.  I wish we could all just heal our stuff, find the love within and learn to see situations for what they are, stop making assumptions, stop getting even.  No one’s actions can minimize you in any way.  This is no provisional truth!

I went to sleep last night thinking about this, feeling so sad about this, feeling sort of troubled by this.  But it isn’t anything new.  I witnessed it all of my life.  For the better part of my life I engaged in it in lots of ways but that was before I knew…once I learned, I stopped that for the most part some time ago (thoughts still occur but actions cannot).  The more I got in touch with my Higher self, the less it became necessary for me to save face or to take insults personally.  But I am still learning, I am still growing. 

Today, I watched it again…sitting at a light, another white car first in line at the light.  The light turns green but he doesn’t move.  The black car laid on the horn in seconds and I shook my head as I watched the white car driving 25 miles per hour in a 45 mile per hour zone to get even.  Again, what a waste of time that was…a temporary high, an insult taken personally…impatience – YES…distracted—YES but insults???None! 

Today I thought of these things driving home.  Still a bit troubled…I understand its all about life lessons.  I had to learn in time but its hard to watch others mired in this go-no-where purely egotistical behavior…I missed my turn just lost in my thoughts.  I’ve never done this before.  I usually turn too soon but this time I missed my turn and went right on by.   I drove to the next street and turned right, made another right and a left and I was right back on track.  I got close to the intersection right near my house and then I saw it…a horrible three-car accident had just happened a few minutes before (likely at the time I would have been there had I not been distracted and missed my turn)…the chills, electric, ran across my skin as I watched 3 cars destroyed, wounded people, a wounded animal, a light post on the ground, shattered glass, car parts strewn about and people rushing to try to assist.

The world is a tough place but ultimately I guess  I’m grateful to be here at this time, I’m glad that I notice the things that I notice and the way that I notice them and I’m really grateful for my life’s lessons.  What are yours?  Are you paying attention? ~Blessings

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