Conscious Awareness

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I am called by the name my biological parents gave me as well as the name under which I write but that is just a reference for my own personal point of focus here in the physical world.  You can label me with other words if you wanted to but that wouldn’t mean that you were accurate in your observation or perception of who or what you think I am.  In fact, you can’t know who or what I am in truth until you have that moment of crystalline clarity where you know who and understand what it is you truly are.

In your observations of those around you, you cannot see the totality of who and what they are.  You may only perceive that which you are able or capable of understanding and you will project upon them as you most need to.  You must realize that your perception is a filter from which you have experienced this world.  This means that with whatever or whomever you perceive stands before you, there will be a form of expectation in terms of what role you most need to cast someone into.  If you look even now in your world you will find you are surrounded by the industrious, the loyal, the betrayers, the theives, the wounded, the heros, the angelic, the gifted and even the tortured, dishones or villains.  But did you know that other people may not cast people in the same roles that you cast them in even if some others share your collective experience?  Did you know or even care to realize that what you experience in another, at some level, you wish to experience or you would not experience it at all?

What does all of this mean?  It does not hold the much overly simplified part of truth in this concept that says what is in you is in others so if you see bad in others it is because you are bad or if you see only good in others, you are good.  Think bigger, much bigger as this is a much bigger game you are playing in.  What you are is consciousness, what you see is consciousness, what you experience is consciousness in the manner of your own chosing.  That consciousness you observe around you existing within their own points of focus here in 3-D may be aware or unaware but it is or they are consciousness…or vibration if you will.  The entirety of the universe holds  consciousness and our points of focus that represent our physical embodiment here in the land of 3 dimensions most commonly understood (at least in general) as life on Earth and our consciousness has been limited by those who forgot who and what they truly are so they had no means readily available with which to teach you the truth. You can choose to become aware or not as is your choice and I am here merely to paint a picture of another kind.  And it is that picture that some will readily see and others will not.  That thought does not change the truth of who and what you are.  It also does not make real that which you perceive to be truth even if you “believe it.”

You can ponder and contemplate the nature of the universe and it will be a wonderful endeavor but not near as wonderful as connecting to the center most integral part of the core of what you truly are.  It would be wonderful if we could be so transparent that we changed the entire paradigm of our conscious awareness in this place in space-time perception.  But until all are aware, this is not possible entirely.  Consider the beauty and purity of what you truly are and as you consider this, know too the potential beauty and purity of all who stand before you exists regardless of roles you may have chosen to cast them in.  Seek understanding and test your belief.  Belief IS only untested hypothesis.  So, test your hypotheses (are they real and can you say so with 100% objective certainty) and then you will begin to understand not only the truth about you but the truth of the other conscious points of focus in this realm.  God bless each and every one of you as you make your journey of experience through this life.  May you gain the awareness that you came here to gain.  In love and in light, so it is.

Copyright 2014, Jaie Hart (photo and words).

Roles and Plays

How many times have I engaged in a play only to realize the part doesn't suit me?  I am afraid that I have most certainly lost count.  Even more times have I pleaded kindly with the writer of the screen play to cast me in a more appealing role only to have said same writer/director refuse me and insist on manipulating, shaming or imposing guilt upon me to remain in a miserable and overly dramatic play in the most horrid of ghastly and ghostly roles.  Having no choice then and heart-broken, I cast the script down at his or her feet and walked off the stage never to return.  How many more times will it be so?  I shall not answer any more casting calls and rather, I think I shall design my own screen play and it's one in which psychology is infinitely stable, love is spiritually at the core so very strong and optimism and curiosity shall guide every line, action and scene in a complete absence of judgement and inability to see the beauty of all of the play's participants.  I shall endeavor to initiate my own casting call and perhaps it is that I shall engage in said activities very soon.  But not now, I think.  I'm too busy writing, too busy creating, too busy healing the frustration from past roles gone awry and so very engaged in embracing all that is beauty, love and light in this amazing world.  Sadly, I suppose I did not clearly understand the roles I had unintentionally agreed to play.  I thought I was answering a certain call only to find the bait and switch trap had been laid.  But I cannot be trapped as a free-will human and shall be no one's victim of poor writing and directing even though I understand the point and the cause from which the roles were blindly created.  With great love I can find understanding and forgiveness but I cannot be manipulated, possessed or coerced into anything that does not align with the truth of my being.

For now, I tire of roles and plays.  I tire of trips and traps.  I dream of scenes more beautiful than most souls could ever even begin to imagine and I shall not settle for anything that is not in pure and beautiful alignment with my truest desire.  So, I go...practicing the lines in my head, creating the sets and scenes with graceful fluidity and openness enough to entertain those things I had not quite yet imagined.  I am not without hope or great faith and inside of me is a love that burns so pure and so bright.  I will never settle for a two-bit part in some psycho drama created by a soul overly mired in illusion to the point that they have so sadly lost touch with their pure love and light.  In my heart of hearts, I know I deserve by far much better than that and so, I must be always much better than that.  I do not fear my ability in any regard.  What I fear a little is the substance and volume of the pool of actors and co-creators of this dream here at this time.  But I have been encouraged to never give up hope on a dream, to lend my love and light to it instead always and trust in full faith it shall be just as I intend and create.  I smile from my soul now feeling the truth.

If you do not care for the roles you have been cast in, rewrite the role or step out of the play and create your own.  You are always infinitely empowered to do so. ~ In love and in light, I wish you all perfectly beautiful and inspiring dreams.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

Found My Way Home

I cannot help but wonder a bit about the space I've found myself in recently.  I write and put it out there publicly in the hopes that something I write about my experiences might help others but what I've encountered is something entirely different than what I had anticipated.  When you step outside of yourself in any means publicly, others tend to develop certain expectations about who you are and what it is that they want or need you to be in order for them to feel okay.  Sometimes that expectation is too much of a burden to carry.  I've written about this before but the lesson lingers on and so, there must be something more to it than I had originally considered.  My ego reacts terribly to people who try to tell me what to do, how to think or who to be.  My ego reacts this way because it is a direct, even if unintended insult, right straight through the the heart and soul of who I really am.  Please consider this the next time you lay your expectations on someone else.  Is it really about them or is it really about you and the healing and accepting you need to do on your own.

I am a student of life, an observer with natural keen analytical ability.  I take things in, learn the frame work and then dissect it completely for one purpose and one purpose only...to understand it.  I write about my observational experiments because as I write, it helps me to understand what I think I am perceiving more clearly.  I am a human being just like everyone else on the planet.  I get out of bed every day, shower and make myself presentable to a world that doesn't really care who I really am - they care how I show up.  Sometimes the world seems to expect me not to be who I am but what it needs me to be.  I look at this one thing and see it as the very nature of much discontent and conflict in all human interaction.  I've bumped up against this one several times in the last few weeks and have suddenly come to realize how much this has materialized on my path in life and I look back nervously now as I see how many times I twisted, bent and contorted myself to be what others expected, demanded or even nicely asked that I be for them.  Its an unreasonable and untenable request - an unfair request - and ultimately, one I can no longer grant to any soul on the face of this Earth.

I can only ever truly find happiness if I show up and present with my heart wide open, my mind wide open and curious but I have to do that my way and I cannot cave under the duress of threat that someone won't like me or they will take their love and respect away from me if I don't behave the way they want me or need me to.  Not one single soul on this planet is above making mistakes or being human so let him who has never made a mistake be the only soul with a right to throw a stone at me.  I'm laughing as I type this and want you to know that I say these things truly with a light heart and to be a bit "cheeky" as my friend Annie would say.  In my 46 years of learning I have come to know the greatest life lesson there is:  To thine own self be true and for no other reason than to uphold your own sense of honor, honesty and integrity because at the end of the day or the end of your life which one day will come at the end of the pavement that is the road of your life...the character you build in matters of the heart and soul are all you take with you.  Being the best at acting to meet other's needs and please those around you in exchange for superficial "love" (that isn't love at all) will win you nothing but a trip to the void where you'll have to figure this out pretty quickly in order to move beyond and into the afterlife.  If you don't figure out who you are now and find a way to love yourselves for the beautiful divine representation of love that you are, you'll be beset one day, much like now, with the monsters and villains of your own creation.  It's not a good path if you ultimately wish to find love and happiness.

I have learned that in life, I tire of fighting the expectations that others have placed upon me and I will never succumb to those expectations again.  Rather, I shall move away, far away from those who think so little of themselves that they can influence others and manipulate them into being something they want and need for instant gratification.  Oh, it is never done with malicious intent I do believe, but rather a great heaping pile of misguided misunderstanding.  If you want to look up to someone and raise them above you - you have immediately cut yourself down.  Stop that right this instant as you do not deserve that.  Do not idolize anyone or anything ever because to do so minimizes you and you are no less than a child of light...a beautiful child of this amazing universe.  Take your rightful place in this world by finding and seeing the love within.  Quit seeking flattery and adoration and instead rebuild the structure of your thinking.  You are so beautiful just as you are and if another cannot accept you, then walk away.  I have walked away all of my life from those who laid the burden of their expectation on me about who I should be to them or for them.  I hope above hope and I pray that one day, one bright and beautiful day will come those who have fully embraced the hearts of who they are and who, like me, have decided to lay down the world's expectations and be the loving, joyful and wonderful souls that they truly are for the pure joy of it...rather than fake something or act just so others might adore them find me and together we will merely enjoy a moment in the sun.  I am not on this Earth to be adored and I am not on this Earth to cut myself down by placing others above me in my own mind.  We are one.  We are equal at many levels.  Our understanding, perceptions and assumptions are the only things that separate us.

Be courageous enough to accept you for who you are.  Be curious enough to discover the things you do not know about you.  Be compassionate enough with yourself and others to see your kindred equality and then you might see what the true light of heaven really looks like.  Heaven never was a place, dearest souls.  Heaven is a state of being...a state of knowing...a state of grace...a state of love...and a state of mind.  Thank Source I finally found my way home.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart