How do we look out upon the happenings of this world and not see so much discouraging hate? I only wish I had an answer for you. Of late, it can seem that it is everywhere you might look both close to home and afar. It’s heart breaking regardless. It seems senseless, the murders, collateral damage, and ignorant and inflammatory commentary running non-stop on social media. I remember my Grandmother’s words so many years ago, “What is the world coming to?”
If I think about it – that very thought spoken so many years ago – tells me that every generation will have its moments of shock at what it perceives to be unsettling (or worse). It feels to me that we are having such a moment again. The bad news is – we’re seeing the extremely unsettling around us and if we let fear take hold, the extremely unsettling is all you will see. There is more to this world and it’s happenings than just the extremely unsettling things. Life is tenuous and precarious on a good day. That’s just the reality of life on Earth. But if we can endeavor to train our eyes and hearts carefully and with specific intent, we can begin to perceive so much more than what fear would dictate.
One thing I know having lived many decades now in life here on Earth is that tragedies abound in every direction but so does the miraculous. You just have to be willing to see it and work tremendously hard at it in some moments on some days. I’m remembering a quote from Mr. Rogers:
“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”
― Fred Rogers
In a continuing time of sensationalized news and click bait, designed to manipulate you into subscribing, out of fear, our vision can be skewed and very negatively so. There are things in the world that can hurt you. That is true. But there are also things in this world that can lift you up and inspire in you love and great compassion. It somewhat comes down to choices.
In a moment of experiencing some of the more challenging and worrying happenings in this world, we need to give ourselves a moment to entertain our emotions - feel and be not okay but at the same time learn the wisdom of sitting with our emotions or feelings and not taking action. The intensity of emotion begins and ends whether those emotions are positive ones or frightening ones. So, give yourself a moment to feel and be. There is a time to be, a time to plan, and then a time for action - striving ever to avoid the imbalance of re-action – that might cause you to do or say something you might later regret. One of the greatest teachers, in my opinion, puts the idea simply with regard to anger but you can take the same approach with any emotion.
"When you get angry, go back to yourself, and take very good care of your anger. And when someone makes you suffer, go back and take care of your suffering, your anger. Do not say or do anything."—Thich Nhat Hanh
There are ways to cope healthily and positively with all the things you perceive make the world a dreadful and unstable place to exist within. Take the time to learn these things. Set aside time to recount your blessings, the things you are grateful for and the things that inspire you every single day. On a horrendously difficult day for me where it felt as though my heart had sunk deep into my toes, I felt hollow and beyond sad. Every breath needed to exist took a great amount of effort to accomplish and I could not hold back tears that seemed to pour from the heart of my soul. I went outside to get some fresh air and noticed some flowers leaning into the sun near by. The colors became more intense the longer I gazed at them. At one point they began to glow and seemed utterly and amazingly content to delight in the sun rays and be caressed by a warm summer breeze. In that moment, the pain and suffering I felt could be set down for a time and gratitude sparked and grew as I wondered about beautiful flowers, firmly planted, taking in sunlight, and swaying in a warm summer breeze. I recounted my blessings and put a focus on all of those things I was grateful for. Did I still hurt and have worry? Absolutely I did. But, in opening up to this unexpected experience, I somehow made room in my perception for something good. That something good helped balance and center me in that moment. Nature taught me a huge lesson that day and I have come back to it time and time again. I’m coming back to it right now full of worry for all the seeming hate, insensitivity, anger, ignorance, and fear I see being played out in the world both near and far. I can’t stop it or change it. Ignoring it would be unwise. However, letting all that negativity take control of my perception of life or the entirety of my world view is not a choice I’m willing to make. I care about myself and my family too much for that.
When the world seems to be going crazy, rather than subjecting myself to feelings of anger and hopelessness for things I have zero control over, I focus on taking care of how I feel. When I can calmly respond to what I’m seeing, I can take action without trying to boil an ocean or save a world I cannot control. I can do what I can. I can start small and simple. I can focus within and take care of my emotions. I can strive to look for the good in this world and those doing their best to do definitively good deeds. I can plan to support those good deeds and maybe get involved in humanitarian activities, give to a church or an organization that calls to me. I can leave something truly good in this world too.
I guess today, I just wanted to share some thoughts to maybe give others something that they can do in a healthy supportive way in a world that at times seems to have gone mad. You don’t have to engage the hate, ignorance, fear, or violence. That ultimately does nothing but cause you and others more pain. You can support efforts to bring about change in a positive and uplifting way. You can take care of your own emotions. You can learn to see the good in this world and engage in it or support it. You can start small and take positive steps. You can seek help if it all becomes too much for you. You can look for support in your community, within your circle of friends, and your family. There are positive steps that you can take to cope with what you experience in this world without getting carried away by the negativity that does definitely exist here. It’s a matter of choice and it does involve looking for opportunities to take a breath and choose to respond instead of letting emotional reaction take hold and potentially steer you in the wrong direction - to wrong and devastating action. It’s possible if you decide it’s possible. You are empowered to support yourself.
The meaning of life is in the journey we make as we live through it. Don't lose sight of the good. Learn to see it. Keep looking for it. When you find it, breathe in and breath out. You've got this.
Helpful Links:
https://www.britannica.com/topic/Eightfold-Path
https://plumvillage.org/about/thich-nhat-hanh/key-teachings
https://www.amazon.com/Changing-Perspectives-Jaie-Hart/dp/0557180570
©
December 2024, Jaie Hart (photo and words)
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