Saturday, December 14, 2019

Random Thoughts on The Decade Passing

I sit in the cool and darkness becoming light. The sun slowly greets the day and me, here, mind empty and heart full. Not only does another year come to a close but the end of another decade does too. I don’t know where the time has gone.  It trickled away bit by bit while I was busy with other things.  Don’t get me wrong; the time I spent, I am most grateful for. My grandfather barely saw 54 years and my father never did.  Their time here was brief, so much so that I barely knew either of them. I send them my love wherever they are and hold nothing but gratitude for the blessings their existence brought me.

I have in my pocket, a seeming lifetime of good and hard life lessons learned in just this last decade and although I don’t care to repeat them (and pray I never do again), a part of me has come to terms.  A part of me is glad to be nothing else but simply present.  I’ve made so many changes in just the past 10 years.  I’ve come to a number of realizations.  They are by far too many to recite here and likely, they’d bore you to tears, but my life isn’t for anyone else’s entertainment but mine I suppose.

I used to think I knew where I was going and what I was doing as well as why but the funny plot twist in my life is that I never knew a thing.  Learning that now, is a very strange blessing.  I don’t know where I’m going and I do whatever it is that I am called to do without attempting the pre-determining of the outcome.  The results are more entertaining when it’s a surprise any way.  I’ve seen dreams shattered and brilliantly born in this past decade.  It’s been a joy, all of it.  But its strange to feel more self-assured not knowing what will happen.  It’s not as fearful when you truly know you can trust yourself to manage whatever it is that presents itself squarely upon your path to contend with.  If it is that and only that I have learned in this past decade, it was all well worth it.

The next decade holds just as much promise - of that I have no doubt.  So, I’ll slip into it gently, in full awareness of the past, pure enjoyment of the present and much hope and faith for the future, whatever it brings.  I’ve had seasons come and go, family and friends too.  It’s always a challenge to say goodbye but there is a strange comfort and peace in letting go and letting things and people be just as they are – even if far away.

When I look at the miniature world of this life I have created, I am content.  It isn’t perfect and I think that is the best part of it.  The beauty in the imperfection…it can sometimes seem magical.  To dare to be and do whatever it is your heart calls for is an amazing experience.  I say, pick up and move, go and explore, be a stranger in a strange land, be anonymous in the crowd, be one with the energy and stand in awe and wonder of every moment of every day.  Stand in the sunlight and feel the warmth.  Stand under a vast and depthless seeming sky and feel every single star and planet. Know the motion of it all is not only something you witness, but something you are a part of.

The ripples and waves we create in this life can be good ones if we can simply learn to relax and flow.  I don’t know.  It’s been a while since I have allowed myself to wax contemplative.  No reason behind that really, it’s just a side effect of staying ever-present.  Thinking really big thoughts is cool and all of that but it is entirely another thing all-together to just be so very present in a moment to truly appreciate all the moment has to offer you…the richness, the simplicity, the breath, the heart beating, the sensing and gently holding and then letting go.  It is a different sort of magic I guess and that is what the last decade brought me.  It brought me a deeper appreciation for all that is just exactly as it is while letting go of any thoughts depending upon some egotistical desire to change things or people. The now moment is a powerful thing. And it is right there for you, Now. How will you experience it?

I wish for you as this decade comes to a close, many realizations, the beautiful culmination of lessons learned, laughter, love, hope, courage and faith for the next one that comes to your door.  Breathe in; Breathe out.  You’ve got this and the Universe has got you!  Thank all that is good! 

© 2019, photo and words.

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