Sunday, March 9, 2014
The Highway of Life
Sometimes the highway seems too much of the same while traveling. The same white or yellow lines broken up by an overpass now and then or traffic merging on or off. Sometimes the monotony is broken up by the big white truck ahead of you going 20 mph slower than you were causing you to brake, change lanes, change gears and refocus. Sometimes I think life is like traveling a highway and we just keep going in the same direction missing the signs, doubling back, going in circles sometimes or missing the scenery and beauty altogether. There are amazing places to stop and find a road unlike the highway or a place unfamiliar with no roads at all. There are important things to see along the way too but if we're moving too fast or not paying attention, we'll miss them.
The monotony of life lived day in and day out in the absence of understanding is pain-filled and hopeless having one experience after another judged or perceived exactly the same way you have always judged and perceived. One day twenty years has gone by and you can’t quite remember exactly how you got there, where ever "there" may be or how you might have missed the things you knew where there all along but never took the time to look for or were afraid to see. It may seem a morose observation I weave tonight but I assure you it is far from that where I am sitting in this now moment.
In this now moment, I hold tears of joy for discoveries made, lessons finally realized and putting down this ridiculous projection of having to figure it all out myself. A very dear angel (several actually of late) reminded me I’m not driving this highway alone and in fact, I’ve begun to leave the highway altogether. There will be no more monotony of ignorance, lacking understanding or sleeping at the wheel. In this moment a bitter emotion may pass before me a few seconds only to remind me I am in mourning of not one or two but so many illusions. Even the beliefs I once held have all been blown up by the last emotional land mine I decided to step right on top of. I sigh a little and then smile at the same time. Our co-creation here is so far beyond perfect down to the very second of occurrence of everything.
I went for a walk outside with my partner last night and gazed up at a beautiful sky I had all but forgotten existed of late. So mired in emotion and self-disappointing thoughts I could not articulate or understand. The clouds were high and thin giving the moon the most ethereal and amazing glow. In that moment, I had all but forgotten the moments just before when it felt like the last of my world was crumbling with worry, anger and fear. In that moment I saw my favorite constellation, Orion…Sirius, Rigel…how perfect I thought that they should be overhead at this particular moment. The walk and the view cleared away so much of the emotion from the mourning of destroyed illusions and disintegrated beliefs. We must do that at times, mourn the things we’ve given up that we thought we knew or even understood. It’s part of being human but when the process is done, the moments of greater clarity come and you suddenly realize you’ve lost nothing of importance at all. But, what you’ve gained on your journey is worth so much more in fact I'd say, "Priceless."
I’m suddenly grateful in this moment to realize how fully I am not on this road trip alone. I see all of the human and ethereal angels around me who have been so supportive while I make my way through this foggy part of my journey. I’m grateful for each and every one, so grateful. Thank you, every beautiful one of you.
So, I’ve traded my illusions and traded my beliefs (at least those I am consciously aware of) for nothing but a simple and beautiful barely audible hum of a knowing. A knowing that there is more, so much more and I cannot settle for what is not meant for me. I’m free to create things so very differently as always I have been. I just didn’t know and I didn’t understand. And now, now the journey truly begins. I take a deep breath as if I’ve not taken in air for a thousand years and I let it out slowly. Life is truly amazing as are all of our creations, the dramas and plays, the colors we paint our lives so beautifully with. Life is a sweet treasure to be fully enjoyed free from anything that traps or binds you and nothing does that more than blindness, ignorance and lack of compassion for self primarily and others too. It’s time to fly. Sweet dreams beautiful dreamers. May the angels surround you with every breath and step.
© 2014, Jaie Hart (photo from dreamstime.com)