I know a soul who no matter what this soul tries, it blows up in this soul's face. Relationships, jobs, moves to other places...everything blows up always. But I wonder about this soul's expectations for radical change, moving across country to find the perfect love that perhaps does not exist. Perhaps this soul is unwilling to go the distance to attain that which this soul strives for...going only half way, expecting the world to change and give what this soul wants and needs without effort when the world doesn't work in the way of this soul's dreams and taking a sort of entitlement approach to things which sadly, always works out much less satisfactorily than is typically expected. So, perhaps it is not actually the world that lets this soul down but the steps taken and not to attain that which is desired. And yet, there is no self-accountability at all in this soul. This soul, at every turn, blames everyone around this soul...blame is issued forth to the government, society, loved ones, the weather but not one ounce of accountability for bad decisions is ever taken by this soul. And so, it goes that folks like me who paint a silver lining in every situation can become part of the long line of souls to blame for a bad predicament. The shift in thinking is all it takes to move beyond this and well, the acceptance of personal accountability for decisions, expectations and the unwillingness to do what it would take.
I can see how it is by far easier to blame society and people like me as the source of all that is wrong in this world. But in comparison, my life is so good. I look at a goal and discern the steps required to get there putting no onus or expectation on anyone but me to get me there and if I fail, I know that I missed a step and I'll go back and start again. I also have my very painful failures but rather than see them as the reason the world is out to make me fail, I realize that I merely discounted something important or I had an unrealistic expectation, maybe I was working with too much fantasy and not enough reality but I'll go back and start again and I always achieve that which I seek. I am not lucky and there are no coincidences. I refuse to give up and when I want something, I will find a way to attain it without requiring anyone do anything but me and I refuse to make anyone accountable to give me anything to get to my goal. I look for opportunities, I take the mistakes and seeming misfortunes, tear them apart to understand what went wrong and then I remap the steps to get to where I wanted to go and then I achieve that which I sought. I guess I do not understand how that is weaving a false fantasy that is unrealistic. Well, there is no misunderstanding there for me. I see it simply a matter of perspective differences. One person's nightmare is another person's dream, one person's mistake or failure is another person's opportunity and one person's lack of insight is another person's pure and beautiful vision. Everything, absolutely everything is a matter of perspective. We make choices in the dark or the light at every step and with every breath we take in life. When we choose to insult self or blame others for misfortune, we trap ourselves in a prison of our own design. We forget that it is we who have the key and that that key is our freedom.
So, I understand the victim mentality and how everything goes wrong. That was me in my late teens and twenties. But through trial, error, observation and analysis, I learned that the problem with my life was me and no one else. When I change me and the way I viewed things, everything changed and my life got so much better. We live and we learn I suppose and each must find his or her way in this world. There really isn't a wrong or a right. Victims are not wrong. They just lack the ability at the time they lock themselves in that prison, to see their view point requires much more energy to get out of than they are willing to put forth. Vision, accurate assessment of abilities and the tools and ingredients from which we create our life is our decision. We can change our view and change our lives but it takes willingness and great courage to get to that place. The journey is the destination. Our destination in the physical world is death so what are you waiting for? Get out there and find what doesn't work in your life and find a way to change your perspective so you can get to what it is you truly want. Set expectations, take the steps to achieve each step on the path to your goal and then one day you'll stand there so satisfied with your progress. Many helpers will arrive along the path you walk but if you are stuck in your ego and victim thinking, you will outright reject the assistance they came to give you. Be aware of the decisions you seemingly and unwittingly make. Those that tell you the things that hurt the worst, well, those are the ones to pay attention too. Not to own insults or injury, but to understand the root cause of your true emotions and why you choose it. Discover you. Discover life. Live it with meaning and no that you do not have to limit yourself before you even get started by thinking the world is against you. That is really YOU standing against YOU.
Food for thought, maybe, a little bit...at least? I hope so. Change your mind and perspective and you can change your life and your world. The choices are always yours to make even when it seems this is not so. Even if you don't understand the concept completely, remain curious enough to strive to explore it. You won't be disappointed. Blessings beautiful dreamers.
(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, beautiful internet find)