Restless

Oh is my spirit restless sometimes
So much to contemplate in every single moment
"Just be," they say
"Just breathe," they suggest
But sometimes, its just no use
We are human, fallible
And sometimes, we just need to feel
Whatever it is we feel
So, I accept how I feel in every moment
They're my emotions,
I know because I created them
And well, the whys will come in time I suppose
Until then I'll just move to the tune
Vibrating deeply within my soul
Would that I could be still in this moment
Attempting to stand underneath the blessed stars
I send my love up and out to each and every one
And they twinkle knowing just what to do
And I smile again
This moment will pass
And another will follow
And the seconds will turn to minutes and years
Distance from this moment will be
Perhaps by then I will have found the peace
From deep within the core of me
And I'll look back to this moment
I once spent restless
And I will be glad for it

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

Fanning Flames

Even when it feels like the love inside of you amounts to a tiny gossamer flame, if you put your focus fully upon it you can raise your flame to a blazing inferno. The love burning deep within us is the impetus for our growth, for our compassion and the pure resonating with others on this Earth and beyond it. Caress that flame with the gentleness of your intention, fan that flame with the faith of your affection and seek to truly feel it with everything in you that makes you you. The love inside is our treasured connection to Source. It never disappears but we sometimes turn away from it in our moments of sorrow and disappointment. Know it is that flame that connects us each one to the other and you are never alone in any part of your journey. When you raise that flame high, so too do those around you in response. Keep your light of love alive and shine beautiful dreamers. ~Much love and infinite light!

 

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, fortunate random internet find)

Did You Know?

...That your presence here on Earth at this moment in time matters?
...That right now someone is thinking of you and is glad you are here?
...That no matter how small you sometimes feel you are there are those that see your greatness?
...That you are someone's first thought in the morning and someone's last thought as they drift off to dream?
...That everything that you do does not go unnoticed by those who count the most?
...That every one of your perceived failures is actually a great life lesson for you?
...That when you give life your best, no matter what happens you will not fail?
...That you are a beautiful soul living a beautiful life and everything you do counts?
...That I am so grateful you are here?
...Did you know?
Thank you for you and all that you do.
You are loved.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart
 (photo/words)

Walking Buttons

I had a thought this morning and please don't think I'm picking on anyone because I'd have to pick on myself too.  So, the thought is this:  We all walk around with buttons.  What I mean by walking around with buttons is that we all have those wounds deep inside of us that if touched or exposed will trigger us into some kind of painful reaction either via anger, sorrow, sadness or even vengeance.  So, we are the ones who decide to walk around with these buttons and our first reaction when someone pushes one of those buttons is to strike out.  What I can't seem to wrap my head around is that the button pushers are the ones that always seem to be the ones we blame.  We don't seem to have any ability to take responsibility for the fact that we've got buttons that are so readily pushed. 

So, the button pushers are of a wide variety of folks.  They are either in the class of the keenly perceptive and take some sort of twisted pleasure out of pushing your buttons or they are of the class that just happened to push one of your buttons unwittingly.  You can tell them apart immediately by how they respond when you call them to task for pushing your buttons. The ones in the former class will be the ones to deny or to press that brutal honesty is required in life and you just have to deal with it.  The latter class are usually the ones who will say, "Gosh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to....(insert answer here)."  Regardless of which class the button pushers belong to, with this article I mean to suggest something that may seem so revolting and might even make you feel incredulous.  Are you ready?  Here it is:  Own your buttons and stop transferring blame for painful wounds onto others.  I know, it's a jagged bitter pill but stick with me here a moment.  There truly is a method to my madness.

So, when you realize you have buttons that can be pushed such as abandonment issues, self-esteem issues, situational interaction type wounds, emotional abuse, physical abuse or other things that you know you hold as unhealed wounds, you have an incredibly powerful opportunity to prevent the button pushers from ever causing you harm again.  It's so simple, own your buttons and work on healing what underlies them so that no one can trigger you again.  I realize how hard this is and that it will be one very arduous journey to embark upon but realize the power you hold by standing in your own light and owning your wounds.  If you own it and someone calls you on it...you can respond with, "Yeah, so or and????"  If you are in denial of it and someone exposes you, you are going to be triggered into denial, diversion, transference, projection and other ways to protect that wound from being brought out into the light of day.

If you own the button and work on healing it, you won't be subjected to triggering.  Another thing to consider - the role of the button pusher.  So, life is sort of a dream and it is we who build the sets, develop the scripts and engage in the casting calls.  Our souls, knowing we are in pain whether consciously or not, will cast the button pushers into scenes to act out with us for one purpose...to get us to seek out those wounds we carry and heal them.  You can fire one cast member after another for exposing a wound but you see, your soul will only cast another and another and another who will push the same button until you own it and heal it.  Its true, so very true...so painfully true.  So, quit giving the button pushers power.  Take a look at those things that cause you to react, deny, protect and fight back.  Look at those things openly and with courage and determine if you have a button that might need some work to heal.  If you can stand in your own light bravely, you can heal and grow from the experience and then, when your soul casts the last cast member on this topic to try and trigger you, you'll respond instead of reacting and you will have passed the test moving onto ever and ever greater and more meaningful plays and scenes.  Just some food for thought beautiful dreamers. Blessings of love, healing and light.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

Soul Friend

Soul Medicine

 

I somehow managed to sleep twelve hours last night.  On my way home from work, I happened to catch a huge full moon rising just above the mountains.  It looked 3 times it normal size and to see it rising in a sea of cerulean blue was just breath taking.  I think it is that vision of amazing beauty that made me so peaceful and relaxed that I slept more than I have in a very long time.  When I finally awakened this morning, the sun was already up and the birds were singing so sweetly right outside my bedroom window.  I thought how wonderful it might be to wake up like this every morning.  I made my way through my simple morning routine and headed towards my wonderful friend, the coffee maker!  As I was making coffee, I noticed the sky was a deep cerulean blue and clear as far as my eyes could see (picture is of that very view).  The night's chill had already worn off as the rays of the sun cast everything in a beautiful golden glow.  Once the coffee was made, I stepped outside onto my patio and decided to sit near my tiny little purple garden.  I cannot tell you the peace that resonated just gazing at tiny flowers in varied hues of purple and violet.  It set my entire being at ease.  I gazed at a very small statue of a beautiful angel that stands guard in my little garden and the white contrasting with the deep brown of the soil and the deep green of my beautiful plants and then the colors, my what a beautiful morning I thought.

This moving slowly, fully rested, is such a pure and simple pleasure.  I'm reminded how important giving yourself this kind of gentleness is.  We really must take the time to give ourselves some soul medicine.  We give ourselves soul medicine by adjusting our vision to a focus purely on the positive, solely on the beauty within our current field of vision and allowing the feeling of life to pulse consciously through our veins.  Breathing deeply in morning sunshine, hearing the birds and noticing the vast array of colors our vision can take in is such a blessing and can initiate one of the most beautiful feelings on Earth...bliss.  Gratitude can bring you there so quickly if you let it and you decide to choose to open your mind, heart and soul fully to it.

Be gentle with yourselves today dear souls.  Choose something to appreciate and feel fully grateful for.  Breathe in the pure beauty of the emotion of gratitude and feel your own well of love within pulsing and radiating outward in response to your choice.  Love and light beautiful dreamers.  May your journey today be peace-filled and full of love.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (words/photos)

Blessed With Grace

I know sometimes that life can seem so very hard dearest souls. In those very difficult times when it seems like you're all alone, please know that you are loved. In those tough and challenging times, there are people who love you, who are pulling for you and are praying for you to make it through whatever it is you might face. Not one of us is ever truly alone. Take yourself outside sometime under a clear night sky and look up for just a moment. Realize all the thousands of souls who have looked up at the same stars that you look upon. Reach out with your mind and your heart and feel them. People may come and go in your life, lessons will too and you, you will prevail if you hold tight to the love and light within you. Your journey through this life is blessed in ways you may not always understand in a moment of challenge but if you need something to believe in, believe in that - that you are blessed and you will find the grace to face your life. ~Blessings of great courage, strength and love for your journey beautiful dreamers.

 

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random but beautiful internet find)

Does Kindness = Manipulation?

I'll start off today's blog with a question and it's one I assure you I don't really have answers to but it was just something I was thinking about.  Is kindness a hidden form of emotional manipulation?  At first the question may be absolutely repulsive I realize as all the egos of the kind people in the world begin to spool up in defense. I write to understand things and I share to assist with understanding.  Again, I'll state, I do not have the answers but I do have keen observation.  So take the people pleasers for example.  Are they pleasing you to win your love and approval?  Maybe but, what if its something more than that?  What if people are kind to employ the golden rule?  You know, the whole "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."  When we think of manipulation, we instantly think of malicious intent of some sort.  But what if the kind souls out there or the people pleasers have another motive all-together?  What if they are not trying to manipulate you into loving them or validating them but are trying to put up a pre-emptive strike against abuse or pain?  Would that not get you to pause and consider that kind people are just souls out there trying to engage in the golden rule to promote more kindness instead of pain?

I don't know but I've thought about this quite a lot in my life.  Having watched certain things in action like the obvious manipulators who pretend to be kind to you to get you to do something for them or be something to them that they want from you and if you do not act accordingly, there is no kindness displayed next.  In fact, the personal rejection of kindness will bring out vengeance and vindictive behavior quicker than anything in some.  As you can imagine, there is all sorts of psychology that applies here and rather than quickly judge someone as bad or wrong, I suggest that we step back a moment and seek the higher wisdom of understanding so that when you encounter the negative aspects of intentional manipulation that you can respond accordingly.

I'm not convinced that people are kind only to manipulate you for love, validation, attention or even as a pre-emptive strike.  I have met souls who embody pure unconditional love, pure kindness and simply love the energy put into the world of that kindness and they ask for not one thing in return.  They will not change their kind-hearted behavior towards all because people don't respond positively to them.  They simply just seem to love the energy of kindness.  Rather than judging all with suspicion or questioning motives of people, I suggest that we sit back, live and let live and whether the consequences turn out to be positive or negative, the actions taken are really about the individual taking the action.  I don't think people manipulate to be evil (not always anyway).  I think that some souls have taken on a lot of pain, a lot of rejection and a lot of harm in their formative years from adults and others in their lives that did not know what love was or what true kindness or support was.  To make someone feel worthy only to the point they are giving you what you want or think you need isn't really fair.  The reality is most souls are absolutely worthy of love and act accordingly.  Some may act out in unhealthy ways until they learn to heal the wounds inside, accept themselves as loving individuals and learn to forgive those that treated them poorly so that the unhealed wounds of assumption can finally be transformed into truth and understanding. 

I walk away from these thoughts thinking that we all just want to find love and acceptance.  We all just want to be happy.  I think that we sometimes learn unhealthy ways to get what we need without realizing we carry wounds within our hearts.  Such souls do not need judgment and persecution but perhaps they need only to learn of their own love and light and perhaps they may find it with some patient soul willing to show them - if, and only if, they are willing to see.  Me, myself, I love kind souls and I even love those who have manipulated for love.  I understand them.  That doesn't mean I am going to tolerate negatively manipulative behavior but I will love and forgive those that employ manipulation in any form.  I may not stand there for repeat performances but I at least will not carry the animosity of taking misguided behavior personally.  The kind souls out there, for whatever reason, do put out an amazing energy of love when they do it with no expectation of personal gain.  Such souls do exist.  So, give people a break through understanding.  Rather than negatively assuming, judging, labeling or condescending to people, understand that everyone has had a hard path to walk at times and will protect their hearts in whatever way they see fit whether healthy or not.  Those that wish to heal and grow may just find themselves in the company of the truly kind-hearted and unconditionally loving souls who might just teach them to love themselves.

I don't have any answers as I mentioned from the start but as to the question originally posed, "Is kindness a hidden form of manipulation?"  I think my answer is this, I think the answer is yes sometimes and it is no sometimes.  You can only know which answer applies by considering the dynamics and specifics of each encounter.  Each encounter warrants it's own response and not a single stereotypical response.  Any how, food for thought.  ~Blessings of unconditional love and true kindness for all of you beautiful dreamers.


(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find).  Post inspired by a friend, Stephen Paulsen - Thank you my friend, for your inspirational words.  :)

Don't Fear the Hands of Time

Ladies and gentlemen, do not fear the hands of time. Do not dread silvery tresses, lines of laughter and wisdom you've gained. Know you have the right to ascend beyond the challenges of youth and reap the rewards of the wisdom of a life well lived. Be courageous as you achieve each right of passage. You are as beautiful now as ever you were. Your true beauty, energy and essence can never be touched by those hands of time. Love yourselves ever more every year as you grow into this beautiful life of yours. Do not mourn the ending of springtime in your lives but rather embrace the challenge, beauty and love of all of the seasons. Accept you - all of you - always and always. You are loved! ~Blessings of patience, wisdom and understanding to all of you beautiful dreamers.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo was a random but fortunate internet find).

Illusions Unaware

I'm home from work today sick with the flu...I'm on day 12 so am hopeful that any day now, I should begin to feel better instead of weak, groggy and blah!  So, I dropped my daughter off at school early this morning and decided that a short drive by the beach might make me feel a little better and I was right.  After days of blazing heat again in Southern California, we had a bit of a marine layer this morning that began to break up just as the sun was just coming up.  A broken layer of very fast moving clouds showed streaks of sun rays dashing to the ground and in between them bits of cerulean blue laced with a higher level of more stationary clouds.  Had I not been so sick, I'd have stopped at the beach and taken pictures but I realized I needed to save that for another time.  The ocean, first thing in the morning, is just more beautiful than one can imagine.  Perhaps its that coppery golden light dancing upon the water or the peaceful quiet of night broken by the light of the sun that just seems so magical.  I'm not sure but it does soothe a weary soul so very much.

I've had so many thoughts running through my head with time to think now that I am not focused on working myself to pure weakness and I've realized a lot lately about illusions, shattering them and picking up the sad pieces of self and letting them reform into a stronger, more aware and less critical being. Its funny that I stand accused of a great many things right now and I realized very quickly that I am not the only one who has been mired in illusion and it is those illusions that reminded me that I needed to stop focusing on the illusions others hold and instead bring into focus my own.  I've held many on certain topics and I've begun to understand why.  It'd be way too personal to go into detail so I plan to keep my own counsel in all but the high-level thought processes.  We hold illusions out of desire and we hold desire out of a perceived lack and if we are not careful, our creations will not bring forth the beauty we intended but the ugliness that needs our attention.  Its no easy thing to contemplate, I assure you.  We like to point out the ugliness in the world and the ugliness in others but it is the ugliness within us that brings that into focus.  If you do not shift, change and open yourself up to the truth, you're really contributing to more of the problem than the solution.  The solution is to pull back on the desire to point out the weaknesses in others and instead seek to understand better the weaknesses within.  The ego thinks it eradicates its ugliness by making someone uglier or even worse, responsible for your ugliness.  It's not true.  The more we stand and point out everyone else's flaws, the more we reinforce our own.  Its a terrible game but awareness can eventually set you free.

So, how is illusion tied up in this - well, it is the illusion of ego that makes us think we are made greater or better by pointing out someone else's shame and also that our ugliness is eradicated by blaming another for it.  It is the illusion of the ego that thinks blaming others for pain is the way to escape it.  No, no and no.  It makes it worse - it reinforces the pain..it reinforces the weakness the moment we engage in blame, or meting out guilt and shame to those around us or to those we think did not give us what we wanted.  Understanding, compassion and personal understanding is the only way to shatter the illusions we hold.  One key - We are responsible for our emotions.  No one on this earth has the power to make us feel anything.  If you do not seek to understand this one definitive truth, you will be trapped in situation after situation that will force you to eventually see the truth or nut yourself up in so much pain that you'll never get out.  Harsh message, I know.  Tough lesson?  Yeah, I know that too.  But, once you learn this one, you set yourself free, you stop spilling your personal power about you and you stand firmly and steadily within your own light.  The truth shall set you free indeed.  So, any way, I think I've beaten this thought to death lately and so I shall let it go.  I need to refocus my own energy on getting through this darned flu bug.  Sleep, lots of chicken soup and tender self-care is in order.  Be kind to yourselves and to your brothers and sisters today.  Never mind being right so much.  Just find a way to be happy.  Blessings beautiful dreamers.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo/words)

Trigger

There was never a more perfect song to convey the thoughts I have today than this one.  Have a listen for a moment....


Triggers are a funny thing and nothing launches our being into ire more than quickly than a person who has triggered us, made us angry or hurt.  We wish to blame them, attack them for triggering us and make them suffer as we suffer.  But, and there is always a but now isn't there....The person who triggered you is not to blame for your pain.  The reality is the "trigger" person is a messenger in disguise.  You can take the egotistical road and attack them, blame them, insult them for making you angry but all you are really doing is continuing to feed a very painful illusion that you, yourself, has created.  I know, I know, this is going to be like a big heaping spoon full of the nastiest medicine you've ever had to take but stay with me a moment and maybe you just might understand and set yourself free once and for all from the trigger. 

We get angry when someone makes us feel bad about us...and we feel bad when triggered only because we believe unconsciously (very unconsciously) that someone has exposed us - or rather, exposed a very sensitive and wounded part of us that we believe somehow is justified but do not want to believe.  Take the issue of abandonment - hot, hot, hot topic as we all have abandonment issues at some level.  So, someone we thought should be there in a certain way in our past left us, didn't support us or ignored us and we, feeling lost and not understanding what was happening, formed an assumption about us - that we are not worthy as evidenced by what someone important to us did or didn't do.  So, then, forever after in our lives we will be triggered when people leave us or in some way disregard us.  We are triggered so that we might take the opportunity to better understand the original wound and finally and fully heal it.  The truth is, people do the only things they know how to do and sometimes, they make bad decisions and leave us hopelessly and helplessly as collateral damage and it hurts.  If we form any unthinking assumptions about us, we condemn ourselves to being easily triggered for life.  If we go on through our lives always blaming and attacking those who trigger us, we are missing beautiful opportunities to go within and heal the wound that created the trigger to begin with.  We can shoot the messenger but that only reinforces the original wound leaving us helplessly trapped.

Its a terrible situation.  But, we can step out of that vicious circle/cycle and realize that we always were worthy of love, worthy of caring, worthy of consideration and someone just did not know how to give you that at a key moment in time when your opinions of you were just developing.  We have to realize that when we give away our power to the person triggering us through attack and blame, we are only feeding the original wound.  The truth is that no one has the power to make you feel anything but you.  To believe otherwise is to marry yourself miserably to one of life's greatest illusions.  Don't do it.  It's a terrible, miserable marriage that will leave you broken your whole life.  Stop the egotistical low-road thinking and grab hold of your power and use it to find the core of the trigger and heal it.  If you can do this, you'll never be triggered and suffer needlessly on this issue again.  In every moment we have the opportunity to chose darkness or light.  When you choose blame for your own emotions, you are choosing to remain mired in darkness - it is you making you suffer.  You are a beautiful soul, worthy of love, worthy of light and you do not have to suffer at your own hand and realize truly that it is your own hand.  Learn to find the wound, learn how to heal it and free yourself from one of life's greatest illusions.  Stand in your own light and taste the delicious emotional freedom that comes with healing.

Blessings of patience, understanding and courage for your journey dear ones.  I pray you find the highest love and healing light within you.  You do have the power.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart

Looking Toward the Light

I walked along the shore in silence heading straight towards the sun.  The sea breeze warm as a summer afternoon seemed strange for mid-October.  The locals out walking enjoying the sights seemed oblivious to the paradise they had there before them but enjoying themselves none-the-less.  I found a rare isolated spot and I sat there quietly taking in the view.  I breathed in as deeply as my lungs would allow and I exhaled so slowly so as not to make a single sound.  I closed my eyes there, comfortable in the sand and listened for the waves crashing onto the shore mere feet just ahead of me.  In a moment I was transported somewhere else and I opened my eyes and the skyline had changed.  The sky now tinged pink and twin suns side by side held seemingly by magic mid-horizon.  The sound became richer and more full and that familiar feeling of home struck me as a fine mist from tumultuous waves danced along the shore reaching out to me invitingly.  I stood up to see the landscape deserted and I decided to walk out and stand in the break water.  The water was perfectly cool as I stepped in and I gazed out at the swells rolling gently in perfect time.

Oh, these dreams, they make me wonder some times.  Just what is it that keeps calling me here.  I try to stay away and my dreams draw me back.  I try to focus on the here and now and the scent of that beach and that shore draws me in seconds up and out of a rather ordinary life.  Why here?  Why now?  What is the reason?  A lone gull flies over head and I watched him soar away from the suns.  I turned to follow just curious now.  He landed a little further down the beach near an outcropping of rocks and I walked slowly so as not to scare him off.  He looked at me as if to say hurry human, you're moving too slowly and I laughed a little at my own imagination.  Just as I approached the beautiful gull he banked East and went inland but not very far.  Again he stopped and he waited for me it seemed.  I quickened my pace to ensure I kept him in view and he flew yet again to the top of a very small hill and landed atop the highest branch of a lone tree on that hill.  I kept my eyes on him as I made my way closer and I noticed at the base of the hill there was a ripple and shimmer I caught but I wasn't quite sure.  I blinked my eyes thinking the salty air from the coast must have made them teary but when I opened them again, the shimmer was still there.  I walked up right to it and hesitated a moment gazing at my feathered friend.  He still looked at me as if I were crazy and I reached into my pocket for some crackers I had wondering if my friend might like a snack.  I stepped over the threshold and I felt a warm chill as if energetic glitter had been sprinkled over my being.  "What took you so long," my friend then did say.  I was stunned for a moment as I realized there was no gull before me but a beautiful soul - no feathers had he but gorgeous blue eyes.  He reached out for me and I embraced him and said not one word.  "Don't ask, just turn around," he said.  I did and watched the suns sinking into the ocean, the right one and then the left still higher on the horizon.  The colors painted across the sky deepened from pale pink to smouldering reddish magenta with fiery orange rays fading into the back ground of the coming night.  The colors dancing atop the water was breath-taking like an amazing display of fireworks back home.  I caught my breath at the beauty and I heard a dog barking and a felt a rather surprising thump.

I was back on my beach back home, collateral damage of a rather large black lab seeking momentarily lost frisbee.  I scratched him behind the ears and grabbed the frisbee and sent it sailing towards his owner.  I sat there frozen a few moments feeling the traces of my vision.  I smiled understanding something I hadn't before.  Sometimes you have to just follow the light no matter the reason, no matter whether you question your footing even.  You just have to keep going in your chosen direction even when you're not even sure why anymore. ~Blessings dear souls for an amazing journey.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart, (photo, random internet find)

Peaceful Time-Out

The sky is gorgeous in October.  I drove by the coast after the sun set just behind Catalina Island and watched the colors turn from neon to smouldering and then gently fade into the sea.  The power of the ocean was just what I needed to clear my head and fill my soul.  Sometimes you have to take a time out from an ordinary life and create a moment of reconnecting to the extraordinary peace that does exist within us and within this world and when the two connect...oh goodness, is it sweet bliss.  I was sitting in my car just watching the waves, listening to Lifehouse, Storm.  Such a great song at this time of day.  Actually, there are many good songs for sun set!  Even just listening to the sound of the wind blow and the hiss of the waves is enough.  There is just something about the ocean that calms the chaos in me in an instant.

I needed this peace and this moment, here in the quiet of the fading colors of an October sun set.  I sat there in the dark for a long time just feeling the rush of the tides deep within my soul and what I found there was joy, happiness and peace.  Truly a treasure after a battle with a nasty flu I thought for sure I was losing today.  But miraculously, the worst of it passed by sunset and I could breathe again!  It's amazing how much we take breathing for granted.  Its so simple, can bring so much peace and yet we notice it and appreciate it only when it is in some way compromised.  I'm reminded the importance of gratitude for all things.  I'm especially grateful for every color of the setting sun, every scent that has ever tickled my senses and every person who has ever touched my life. 

Feeling very much restored, I started my car and turned it away from the Ocean and headed south on Pacific Coast Highway towards home.  The lights seemed more crisp and vibrant than they have in a little while and I flipped through my music for another song, finding another good one (Ashram, Last Kiss - if you're curious) and turned it up loud and just enjoyed my drive home.  Taking a time out is needed sometimes to regain connection, composure and peace in this world.  It's always there when you most need it.  Don't forget ever that you always have the power to find it.  Sweet dreams beautiful dreamers and much peace.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo/words)

Indigo Sky

Breathe deep
The indigo sky
A blanket of stars
Above the Earth
And me, here
A tiny speck of nothingness
Standing here embracing
The infinite
Wandering gentle
Mental meanderings
Finding purchase
Here and there
A soul adrift
In a sea of life
The love and essence
Of a sparkling dream
That grows deep within
The soul of me
I can no longer
Carry it within
I release it to the stars
With the deepest
Of heart-felt prayer
Trusting the All of Everything
To hold for me
What I cannot keep
Breathe again
As I'm standing here
A cool ocean breeze
Touches my skin
And I close my eyes
And I feel those stars
Pulsing in resonant time
With the beating of my heart
Pleasing scent of rain comes in
Wrestling away the bareness
Opening my soul
To blessed peace
Once again underneath
An indigo sky

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

Neon Blue Awakening

I watched as the dark morning sky came to life in neon blue behind full white storm clouds.  The crescent moon hung perfectly still and cast it's light gently to Earth. The intensity of the silence and soul moving stillness filled me with a calm and peace I've not known for a very long while.  Chaotic days and sleepless nights cannot seem to dampen this mood, this wild curiosity and wonder at life.  It's beautiful always in its rapid change and continual blossoming.  Take heart in the stillness of the night.  Let hope take flight in the silence on silvery wings that will light the darkness.  There is magic a foot and murmurings of dreams and well, how beautiful does it feel?  Feel, now there is a word I can touch and taste...so delicious and sweet.  Today is in the making and as the sun rises, I shall await its first fiery golden rays and let my heart sing a tune of presence and persistence, acceptance without resistance.  The day will be all it can be and every breath and step will find me waxing nostalgic, appreciative of life, of love, of grace and dreams.  These things so light and beautiful carry enough weight to ground a soul in harmony with all that is.  And, so, it is. And it is all it will be.  To breathe this cool morning air at this moment, it's enough for me...sweet serenity has come to visit me. 

Find yourself those precious moments in between the happenings of an ordinary life.  Find the joy in the stillness, the peace of the silence and the roaring and delicious energy of the rising sun.  ~Blessings for your journey today dear souls.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo/words)

Mile Markers

It never ceases to amaze me how an emotion can mark a place in space-time, creating an indelible memory.  Emotions are so very powerful at times.  Our moments of struggle along with our moments of joy and happiness create something that can sometimes take on a life of it's own.  I suppose that is what makes us so amazing as human beings.  Our capacity to generate emotion and memory is truly amazing.  As I look back at my own life, the things that stand out the most along the path I have traveled are those moments of intense emotion whether positive or negative.  These little mile markers are left behind us to remind us of how far we have come in our lives.  Standing in the present, you need only recall the memory and the emotion can wash over you anew.  From the vantage point of the present, you can look back and see amazing things.  Sometimes the memories represent truth and clarity but sometimes those mile markers are created with assumption and resulting consequences.  Things we carry with us that maybe won't fully support us aren't always so obvious.

I think, though, that if we were to analyze the patterns of the past, we could provide ourselves with greater insight for the present and strengthen our awareness of who we really are.  The past events and memories do not define us but theydo clarify the patterns of thoughts we have held that created emotion within us.  It isn't something to be overly concerned about or become wistful considering.  Awareness is all that is needed along with a willingness to uncover the truth so that we can move forward on the path without hesitation, without reservation and without fear.  The journey of your lives carries great significance.  We come for an experience, to learn to love and to grow.  Every single moment that makes up the journey that has been your life is important.  The people, the occurrences and the emotion are written down in the records that become the story of your life. But, the story is not you.  So, keep that in mind.  Now consider moving forward...If life has become riddled with questions, worries and woes, think for a moment now and then just what you wish to create for your future.  Look ahead a little and realize that for as many mile-markers as you have left behind you, so too have you marked your future.  Time is meaningless in many regards.  Create what you will in terms of readiness to embrace your life and know that right now you can establish the platform from which the future will manifest your dreams.

Walk on bravely in your life always and ever seeking to understand it and strive to strike a balance as the pendulum of emotion swings and know that it will swing.  But you, you are the creator of your destiny and will create that which your soul most desires to learn and experience here.  Worry less about the future as it will come in it's own time revealing to you a little at a time the things you most desire.  Cultivate a great and wondrous sense of curiosity about what the path holds as you travel it one step and breath at a time.  Live your life knowing that no matter what, it will hold great meaning for not only you but every single life that you touch. ~Blessings for an amazing journey beautiful dreamers.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

Mindful Prisons

How do you show people what is inside of them when they do not wish to see?  Some folks wish to see only their mistakes, only their short-comings and only proof of the world's rejection of them.  In reality, it is only they who reject themselves.  There are myriad reasons why this is so but no one has to stay in that place.  Its so hard when someone truly feels victimized by life and I have actually read articles where folks like me who are out there trying to show the way are blasted for our positive thinking because we weave an unattainable and unrealistic dream.  But, if we have attained that dream, how is it that it can be said we weave an unattainable dream of positivity when we are in fact proof positive that it is attainable?  I cannot help but wonder if the reality is a mistaken understanding of words and actions.

I know a soul who no matter what this soul tries, it blows up in this soul's face. Relationships, jobs, moves to other places...everything blows up always.  But I wonder about this soul's expectations for radical change, moving across country to find the perfect love that perhaps does not exist.  Perhaps this soul is unwilling to go the distance to attain that which this soul strives for...going only half way, expecting the world to change and give what this soul wants and needs without effort when the world doesn't work in the way of this soul's dreams and taking a sort of entitlement approach to things which sadly, always works out much less satisfactorily than is typically expected.  So, perhaps it is not actually the world that lets this soul down but the steps taken and not to attain that which is desired.  And yet, there is no self-accountability at all in this soul.  This soul, at every turn, blames everyone around this soul...blame is issued forth to the government, society, loved ones, the weather but not one ounce of accountability for bad decisions is ever taken by this soul.  And so, it goes that folks like me who paint a silver lining in every situation can become part of the long line of souls to blame for a bad predicament.  The shift in thinking is all it takes to move beyond this and well, the acceptance of personal accountability for decisions, expectations and the unwillingness to do what it would take. 

I can see how it is by far easier to blame society and people like me as the source of all that is wrong in this world.  But in comparison, my life is so good.  I look at a goal and discern the steps required to get there putting no onus or expectation on anyone but me to get me there and if I fail, I know that I missed a step and I'll go back and start again.  I also have my very painful failures but rather than see them as the reason the world is out to make me fail, I realize that I merely discounted something important or I had an unrealistic expectation, maybe I was working with too much fantasy and not enough reality but I'll go back and start again and I always achieve that which I seek.  I am not lucky and there are no coincidences.  I refuse to give up and when I want something, I will find a way to attain it without requiring anyone do anything but me and I refuse to make anyone accountable to give me anything to get to my goal.  I look for opportunities, I take the mistakes and seeming misfortunes, tear them apart to understand what went wrong and then I remap the steps to get to where I wanted to go and then I achieve that which I sought.  I guess I do not understand how that is weaving a false fantasy that is unrealistic.  Well, there is no misunderstanding there for me.  I see it simply a matter of perspective differences.  One person's nightmare is another person's dream, one person's mistake or failure is another person's opportunity and one person's lack of insight is another person's pure and beautiful vision.  Everything, absolutely everything is a matter of perspective.  We make choices in the dark or the light at every step and with every breath we take in life.  When we choose to insult self or blame others for misfortune, we trap ourselves in a prison of our own design.  We forget that it is we who have the key and that that key is our freedom.

So, I understand the victim mentality and how everything goes wrong.  That was me in my late teens and twenties.  But through trial, error, observation and analysis, I learned that the problem with my life was me and no one else.  When I change me and the way I viewed things, everything changed and my life got so much better.  We live and we learn I suppose and each must find his or her way in this world.  There really isn't a wrong or a right.  Victims are not wrong.  They just lack the ability at the time they lock themselves in that prison, to see their view point requires much more energy to get out of than they are willing to put forth.  Vision, accurate assessment of abilities and the tools and ingredients from which we create our life is our decision.  We can change our view and change our lives but it takes willingness and great courage to get to that place.  The journey is the destination.  Our destination in the physical world is death so what are you waiting for?  Get out there and find what doesn't work in your life and find a way to change your perspective so you can get to what it is you truly want.  Set expectations, take the steps to achieve each step on the path to your goal and then one day you'll stand there so satisfied with your progress.  Many helpers will arrive along the path you walk but if you are stuck in your ego and victim thinking, you will outright reject the assistance they came to give you.  Be aware of the decisions you seemingly and unwittingly make.  Those that tell you the things that hurt the worst, well, those are the ones to pay attention too.  Not to own insults or injury, but to understand the root cause of your true emotions and why you choose it.  Discover you.  Discover life.  Live it with meaning and no that you do not have to limit yourself before you even get started by thinking the world is against you.  That is really YOU standing against YOU.

Food for thought, maybe, a little bit...at least?  I hope so.  Change your mind and perspective and you can change your life and your world.  The choices are always yours to make even when it seems this is not so.  Even if you don't understand the concept completely, remain curious enough to strive to explore it.  You won't be disappointed.  Blessings beautiful dreamers.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, beautiful internet find)

Soul Friends

You are changed forever, the moment you let someone inside of your soul.  There are those people in life who can move through our defenses as if they never existed because they come forth with not one ounce of pretense.  We meet such individuals soul to soul, heart to heart, and spirit to spirit.  They can see you, all the way through to the deepest part of you and you find a place where you are completely unafraid.  In human terms, it is very difficult to stand in such a presence because this world is not set up to behold that much beauty so routinely.  Oh, it could if we all could advance a bit more and reach up to it but we can't always do that.

There are special souls in life that will cross our paths from time to time for so very many reasons but these special souls will know you almost better than you know yourself.  It is very natural to want to hold them right where they stand, melting you with that knowing soulful look in their eyes and that beautiful loving charm in their smile but this, sadly, is not always the right thing to do.  In fact, you may often find that such souls were never intended to be with you for the whole of your life in this incarnation but rather for a moment in time just to reach deep into the heart of your soul and show you not only who you are but the loving soul you were intended to be.

Woe is the day that you must part as your soul may feel that it might just ache for an eternity in their physical absence.  However, these very special soul friends will always remain connected to you through the universal love of the all of everything and ultimately, you will let them go when the time comes and for the right reasons and because you want nothing more than to witness the beauty of their freedom in motion.

I'm so very blessed to say I've met such a soul and though my heart, at times, aches so deeply I fear I will never breathe again, I do..breathe...deeply, slowly and remember the words, the visions, the meanings conveyed with little to nothing in the physical world that mattered.  Everything that really mattered was exchanged through a soul baring love nothing in this world can touch.  And so, even though parting is truly sweet sorrow, I am better for the experience of meeting that one soul who changed my life forever.  Forever and ever I will wish this one soul who walks this earth nothing but pure love, pure joy and pure happiness for an eternity.  And now, now, well, there are promises that I have made and must keep. There are things I must think through and work through.  From time to time as I gaze up at the stars on a dark night, I'll see his face and I'll send smiles of gratitude and love. 

Should you ever in this lifetime behold such a soul, consider yourself blessed and know also that you have been initiated truly into the mysteries of your life. The days, weeks and months that unfold from that beautiful moment forward will hold much  promise for you in terms of your remembrance of who you really are.  And, that, my dear gentle souls is what soul friends are for...to bring you that perfectly timed message from home, confirmation of love and true understanding.  Your journey's are already blessed and will be all the more by precious soul friends who come and share pure love and light with you for a time.  ~Blessings of great love, wisdom and the highest understanding.

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo, fortunate internet find)

Ruby Throat

The sun spills through the tree branches in wide swaths of golden light.  The leaves outside of my front door look electric right now and just a moment ago when I was absolutely elated at my fortunate view, a ruby throat humming bird dropped out of the sky and hovered directly in front of my face as if to say hello.  I was so still not wanting to alarm my beautiful tiny friend and he stayed there for a little while probably with as much wonder about me as I held for him.  Have you ever watched the sun set in the fall and in the rays of the sun you can see the small flying things dancing in the light of it?  It takes me away, so far away in my memories to another place and time and the humming bird was perfection...right on queue.

It was so warm today I thought I might melt but I was so grateful for sunlight today.  In fact, I have a very long list of things I'm grateful for.  I'm listening to the birds sing the sun down and its the most beautiful music I've heard in a while.  Electric energy kept me moving through the mundane today and not even a trip to the dentist dampened this mood.  There are those beautiful moments in life where even the simplest things magically click into place unnoticed and the effect is intoxicating and mesmerizing to say the least.  The Earth holds so much beauty and the states of mind we can ascend to in a mere moment...breath-taking.

I took a flight last night in my mind's eye and hovered over an amazing landscape.  Elsewhere it was and I could see all of my favorite places, time spanning, moving slowly, quickly and the adventures come and gone.  Just as I thought my heart couldn't hold any more joy, the scene changed as I was called to a part I had never seen before.  On the other side of the cliffs and a beautiful waterfall, there is a different landscape altogether on a beautiful coastline.  The beach is more rocky there and as I focused in my view, I could see a castle.  Beautifully polished and perfectly placed light gray stone created its walls and keep.  The color contrasted beautifully against the deep blue of the ocean and the emerald green of a lush landscape. Inside it was light and bright although I could see no source of light at all.  Oh how I wanted to stay there.  Have you ever opened up your mind and allowed it to create beautiful places to explore for the sheer joy of the exploration?  Flying is an interesting thing even when inside of one's own mind but the exercise of it is more than beneficial.

I think that visit and communing with the Source gave me great impetus for returning to the love and light inside last night and maintaining it all of the day today.  The blissful feelings stayed with me all day and increased just now as I caught the golden light of sun set.  More memories now come to mind and I am content here now to sit with them a savor the remembrance for yet a little while.  I pray you set yourselves free to roam through the recesses of your mind some time...just to explore and see the beauty you can return to in your memories or create just for the joy of creation.  Blessings for a beautiful and creative week beautiful dreamers.


(c) 2012 Jaie Hart (photo copyright holder is as noted on photo)