Dreamers ~sigh~ :)

Coming Back to Self

Ethereal sunset on the horizon
Searching through my mind for a single thought
Just to hold onto
One I could go with that might bring me understanding
Before long I find it as the birds soar across the sun
This ancient-feeling sense of loneliness
How long this feeling has hidden within me
I can’t even begin to say
I stay in the moment feeling the emotion behind it
For so long invisible but wanting to be seen
Not just by anyone but someone who knows
Someone like me
Then gratitude washes over me as my memories trace back
To faces and places in this time and all times
And I smile despite the heaviness in my soul
We  walk this Earth for a reason
We come to show the path of light
But that doesn’t mean its any easier to be here
Seeing the things the years have taught us to notice
It’s like picking out the sound of a pin drop
In the middle of the biggest city you’ve ever visited
Is this what it’s like to come back to self?
To feel the pain of the years asleep
Just not with self but to see it in others?
There has to be a better way
To show people the pathways home
To make them want to awaken and take it
It matters so much more than they’ll ever possibly know
So what then in the mean-time
Well, there is this glorious sunset to bear witness too
Throughout so many lives and times have I noticed the sun
And the things in life that give off the most light
And then  I smile from somewhere inside
Resolute, refreshed and feeling release
I’m ready to take up the path now in earnest


(c)2012 Jaie Hart (words and photo)



Feeling My Way Through

Emotion struck out of the blue and before I knew it, I was headed towards the coast.  The sun was getting ready to set and the sky had already begun to turn a hazy gold as the fog began to slowly roll in off the coast.  I turned up the stereo so loud I could feel it.  I love to drive when I need to think.  There is something about having total focus on the road that frees the mind to put forth ideas while being temporarily removed from your normal surroundings.  My coastal contemplations always leave me feeling so much more peaceful and peace was what I needed.

As soon as I got close to Pacific Coast Highway and caught sight of the water, the rush of emotion hit me like a tsunami.  I didn’t even try to stop it and never do.  Sometimes in life we carry things, burdens and thoughts that we are not even aware of.  I’m so guilty of that sometimes.  I’m a trooper in my life.  I just keep going and pushing through things without giving myself enough quiet alone time to just feel, be and think.  But thankfully, the body can speak and it will through emotion.  Whenever I feel it and I just go with it, I find my body will just purge itself of any emotion that has been pent up.  When I listen to my body and let it fulfill it's need to feel emotion, it usually ends up being a beautiful experience for me even if a little painful for a time. 

I found a parking spot in the first place I looked, pulled the truck in and just sat there a few moments collecting myself watching that gorgeous light radiant orb as it sat silent in the sky.  It was so beautiful to me in that moment.  It looked like it was perfectly hung in the sky.  I just wished, for a moment, some clouds would gather around it.  Disregarding that thought for a moment, I grabbed my camera, my sun glasses and headed towards the water.  The breeze was cool and the gulls were just migrating back from inland haunts.  They return to the shore about this time each night.  I watched them soar letting my thoughts wander through memories of Jonathan Livingston Seagull.   In thinking of that story I let myself feel the loneliness that had snuck up on me unnoticed.  My goal was to grab a thought, any thought and just feel my way through it and then worry about dissecting it for origins later.  Sometimes, the sources of emotion are not as important as just feeling it without thought or judgement.  The body sometimes just needs to feel its way through emotion and everything returns to normal.

After about 30 minutes, the emotion began to subside.  I stopped sky gazing briefly to take a phone call and when I was almost done, I noticed some clouds had nestled perfectly around the sun and the golden hazy colored sky was beginning to turn bronze and opalescent pink and orange.  Struck by the sheer beauty, I readied my camera to take a few more shots.  I found my core standing there watching the sunset as my mind ran lightening speed through this lifetime and beyond.  There are things, experiences and people I am so incredibly grateful for.  There are also some I sorely miss.  I sighed a moment as I decided to let go of the rest of the emotion and I stood there breathing in the golden rays of the sun.  I noticed that it felt like the emotion was literally being  pulled out of me as if the waves took every ounce of emotion in me away.  A few more breaths and I was completely at peace.  I stood there a few moments longer recollecting this last year on this Earth.  It has really been amazing and wonderful.  I have realized the importance of appreciating experience and being grateful for those who brought experiences and life lessons to me.  Thank you – all of you, who have crossed my path in this life and others.  Things may change and we’ll come and go in each other’s lives but we’ll always have the experience, the memories and the beautiful lessons learned.

The sun has now set behind the clouds and all warmth has left the air.  It’s time to go home, I think.  I took one last look at the clouds that now fully covered the sun.  Dark gray clouds etched in fiery orange was an absolute pleasure to witness.  I could feel my consciousness pulled into the view and again, I was grateful.  I'm stalling now because it's so gorgeous standing here.  I really need to get home though.  I've got family there who love me and I'm eager to see them.  I realized as I made my way back to the truck just how blessed I am to exist in this life, to see the things I see and to feel everything I feel.  Life is really an amazing privilege and I'm really happy to be here.  I leave the beach smiling.

(c) 2012, Jaie Hart (words and photo)

Finding the Light

A carpet of emerald green stretches out before me and the sun casts both brilliant shards of light and then shadows through beautiful pines.  Again every shape of the morning is finely etched in fiery gold.  Mornings are my favorite because of the light.  Have you ever noticed the light change as the earth turns towards the sun?  It’s subtle at first, then beautiful beyond belief and then subtle once again until we reach that part in our continual turning where the sun no longer appears on our horizon. Then blazing colors again…less gold, more fire.  Amazing!  So much, we take for granted.  Take the Earth, herself.  How often do we ever stop and consider all of the things the Earth provides for us?  The Earth provides shelter, nourishment, thirst quenching clear water, garments, vehicles and all manner of useful things all made from things that come from the Earth.  We often take all of these things for granted.  But, did you know that in a matter of a few moments – focusing on your gratitude for all of the things the Earth brings and allowing your consciousness to stretch out from your vantage point can bring you great peace and joy?

This place is so amazing every day.  We get to learn so much about our existence, how we came to be here, where we might be headed and discover things we never understood before.  Every day, we just learn more.  In every way, we grow with every breath.  How can this not be good?  Sometimes our perspectives become jaded or we just forget about the small things that have great meaning.  I sometimes think that when life becomes a little too painful that we need to just simply go back to the basics.  Start with breathing slowly and purposefully.  Then move on to what you have and focus there in every detail (and that doesn’t always mean material things – it can be lessons learned, laughter shared or beautiful dreams too).  Focus on those things that you have and find in your heart a feeling…one specific feeling – pure gratitude for what you have.  When we focus on what we lose, we become out of balance.  We attach to things and people so easily but everything changes.  Even the Earth changes.  We are better served placing our focus where it will bring us the most joy and return for our energetic investments.  From there, we can create – even if it is just creating a neutral space from which we can begin to function again after an upset.

Life’s challenges can seem so great but so are life’s treasures.  We have to take the good with the bad and that is just how it is but we can come to terms with our emotions.  When we can begin to find the positives, we create a space of energy that allows us to breathe more freely.  It takes time and effort sometimes to find those positive things so patience is often necessary and also a belief that at some point you will find a positive – something to smile about.  With some effort even a dark and ominous set of rain clouds can be a beautiful experience.  Its sometimes a matter of perspective and a willingness to find something good to focus on.  Sometimes we must focus on unpleasant things in order to understand and give our emotions time to process all we’ve taken in.  It’s okay.  It’s okay to feel and be however you are.  Negative states can maintain negative energy though so finding a way to heal from upsets and pain is important.  It’s important for you.  In times of challenge, look for the light in the darkness.  In times of joy, look for the one in the room that needs some light and shine it in there direction.  We’ve all been blessed with a lot of amazing things here while we learn in the Earth School.  Understanding what we have come to learn and helping others find the light too is just an amazing way to live.  At least I think so.  Well, enough with my meandering thoughts for the day.  I hope your week is amazing, that you find a moment to see and appreciate the light around you and then you feel all the blessings of your life right down to your core!

(c) 2012 Jaie Hart

(photo is not mine - random but beautiful internet find)

Freedom of Forgiveness

Long forgotten sins I’ve cast
To the farthest reaches
Of the universe that is my mind
Then something sparks a feeling
And within the walls of my mind a crack
And a torrent of emotion is let loose
Reeling I struggle to find firm footing
The Earth seems to spin at more than double time
The stars mere streaks and blurring light
As I try to find composure in my darkness
And just when I think all is irretrievably lost
Those streaks of light slow just a hint in their movement
And come to a gentle halt
The light of forgiveness and love rains down
With grace I find the strength to stand
Reaching out to embrace every conscious thought
I find that forgiveness breathing in my soul
No longer wincing from sins long past
Comprehension dawns with the lessons of life
And unbelievably it is life that finds its purchase
Pulsing within my veins is light
And it finds the heart of me there were I’m standing
The tears replaced with beautiful smiles
Embracing the ones that come to free me
The light in their eyes and the love through the core
I am free at last
From the shadows I come
And finally face the light of the sun

(c) 2013 Jaie Hart (photo, random but beautiful internet find)

Pathways

We become so lost sometimes
In the things that matter not
Lost in stormy seas of emotion
Intended to create in us deeper understanding
Intended to light the pathways home
And yet we doubt there is true purpose for us
We forget our own thoughtful intent
Reason, or a pronounced lack thereof
Brings us to our knees in pain
The truth behind what we think we see…
The love that lies just underneath
Like light in the deepest darkness they come
Teachers great imparting words imbued with great wisdom
Instructors and guides in every soul we happen upon
And yet we somehow continually miss the message
Time and time sorrowfully again
We come here because of our love of learning
Addicted and obsessed with the mysteries
Of our own lives mercilessly unfolding
Until like glass we thoughtlessly break
And the facade we burden ourselves with shatters
And the Source light refracts like rainbows
In all the shards and pieces fallen to Earth
And then we become
What we always were
Home…whole…loved
(c) 2012, Jaie Hart (Photo random internet find)

Perception = Emotion...Not Truth

I love to hear the birds singing when I wake up first thing in the morning.  There is just something about hearing them that sets an amazing tone for the morning.  So much in life is singing constantly but if we don’t take a moment to listen, we could be missing important keys to our own happiness.  After a long day yesterday, I was driving home into the sun.  We often think of the sun as giving off golden light.  But yesterday, the clouds in the sky were radiating a really subtle but beautiful silver light.  This sunset was different from so many others I have seen.  It reminded me that when you expect things to be a certain way, you only really notice them when they stand out differently.  I’ll tell you, that silver sunset was one of the most amazing sunsets I’ve seen.  I didn’t see the sun sink low on the horizon as I was busy with so many other things but I will remember the feeling inside of me seeing unexpected silver rays of sunlight.

I think that our feelings matter so much.  But it isn’t until you can begin to really feel them and understand why they exist at all that you really begin to appreciate them.  Our feelings are not facts.  They are based on what we perceive in a moment.  For me, yesterday, I felt elated at seeing something different in the sunset.  My own perception allowed me to see something different, something out of the ordinary.  But others, they may have seen the same old golden sun and not noticed the myriad silver rays that also spun out across the sky in every direction.  There was no wrong or right in anyone’s perceptions, but there were vast differences in feeling from mine—elation to others that maybe did not have an emotion evoked at all.  We’re all so different when it comes to our perceptions even down to the very core of why they exist.  Why can two people view the exact same thing and then perceive a situation differently and then allow themselves to give birth to two entirely different sets of emotion concerning a situation?  At one level, you could say its simple psychology and the damage or not that a soul has taken on in this incarnation.  And you could be right.  Or, well, you could go deeper to the very soul itself and realize that each soul has had different experiences as well that can often create a perception that has absolutely nothing to do with psychology of the mind.  I think there must also be a psychology of the soul.  The psychology of the soul would be harder to get at and understand because you may not be able to consciously understand a soul’s psychology.

But there are clues as to which one is in play.  When certain feelings are evoked and there isn’t any experience in this life that we can tie reactions to, I think the soul’s experience is exhibiting psychology.  It may be hard to get at the soul’s experience in order to understand how it’s experience in the past has shaped your perceptions unconsciously – or seemingly unconsciously.  If an individual can get very quiet and learn to listen to the soul and allow the soul to bring forth it’s memories to work out and understand, life can take on a whole new dimension.  THAT is amazing!!!!  If you’re challenged in getting to this place and you are curious, there are ways to get at this deeper soul-level understanding.  There are some souls quite adept at tapping into the akashic records to help with soul-level understanding.

From Wikipedia.com, the Akashic records are described as:  The akashic records are described as containing all knowledge of human experience and the history of the cosmos. They are metaphorically described as a library; other analogies commonly found in discourse on the subject include a "universal supercomputer" and the "Mind of God". People who describe the records assert that they are constantly updated automatically and that they can be accessed through astral projection^[1] or when someone is placed under deep hypnosis. The concept was popularized in the theosophical movements of the 19th century and is derived from Hindu philosophy of Samkhya. It is promulgated in the Samkhya philosophy that the Akashic records are automatically recorded in the elements of akasha one of the five types of elements visualized as existing in the elemental theory of Ancient India, called Mahabhuta. In the Mahabharata mention is made of Chitragupta (lit. "hidden picture"). He is the son of Brahma and a minister of Dharma and his duty is to examine a list of the good and evil actions of men (the Agrasamdhani) after their death. "Nothing is lost of either piety or sin that is committed by creatures. On days of the full moon and the new moon, those acts are conveyed to the Sun where they rest. When a mortal goes into the region of the dead, the deity of the Sun bears witness to all his acts. He that is righteous acquires the fruits of his righteousness there." (Mahabharata, Anusasana Parva, Section 130, Ganguli trans.) The term akashic records is frequently used in New Age discourse.

I’ve had some really interesting and wonderful experiences from the perspective of gaining knowledge through the akashic records.  If you’re open to such exploration, please feel free to contact me (jaiehart@gmail.com) as I can recommend some practitioners who are sure to open your conscious mind to a whole new level of understanding on this topic.  Whether you venture in on your own, which can be done but it’s hard without understanding and experience with the records, or you seek out a practitioner very experienced in such matters, understanding your own soul is so key to developing and learning here on Earth.  There is so much more to life than what meets the eye.  I take the approach of leaving no stone unturned.  It’s important that we remain curious and courageous in an effort to understand ourselves, our motivations and our self-created barriers.  With diligence and help, we can change our perceptions in ways that will facilitate our growth and understanding of life.  

I challenge you to notice your emotions and the perceptions that create them.  Nothing can bring you closer to understanding the truth about you and your purpose than the things that you feel.  When you understand why you feel as you do, you can uncover some beautiful truths instead of holding onto the untruths you may have unwittingly told yourself about you and/or life.  I’m headed off to work and I’ll be driving into the sun.  Even if the clouds obscure my view, I know the truth…the sun is out there and it will be beautiful and I’ll enjoy every single ray whether pink, golden or even that beautiful silver.  Life is beautiful to me no matter how I look at it.  Even the ugly things we see can sometimes have a beautiful purpose.  It’s all about how we allow ourselves to perceive and then feel about what we perceive.  I hope you have an amazing day.

(c) 2013 (photo is a random internet find)