The day came and went, the day I had been waiting for, the
day I had been hoping for and the day I’ve been dreaming for. This part of my story began so long ago, I
might have forgotten about it if a friend hadn’t reminded me. A while ago, a long while ago, I had a
calling. It was something deep in my
soul in the form of an idea…it’s time to go.
It’s time to move and the place came to mind. It was a place I had been and a place of good
memories. I just couldn’t see at the
time how in the world I could get there from where I was. The roadblocks at the time were simply too immense to overcome.
At the time the call came, I had just given birth to my
third child. I spent long nights alone
thinking, planning and working out how I might approach the rest of my
life. Then, detour after detour, another
child made four and lots and lots of life lessons came and oh my goodness, did
I learn. Then, after years of tears,
frustration, striving, succeeding, failing and then learning to listen, it came
again. I didn’t know it would lead me to
where I would soon be but it did and perfectly so. The roadblocks simply rearranged themselves into a very clear and perfect pathway. So, now I sit here, quiet in the early
morning pale light. I’m recalling all
the beautiful and terrible memories this place has brought me in the last 20
plus years. But if I’m honest, and I
mean really honest, it was all beautiful and truly not so terrible as it might
have seemed. Everything was perfect. I mean, truly perfect – bright peaks and dark
valleys -- all of it.
As I look back, I see so much magic in the orchestration of
my every move, decision, challenge and lesson learned. And then, the calling materialized not long ago in the
outside world this time instead of from within my soul and the resonance of the
idea from within and without... I still
didn’t know how it would further manifest itself so I did what I could – stayed
open and oh, so very curious. Step by
step the urgings became requests, inquiries and out and out searching and
pursing. With not much effort it has all
come together. On one hand, I’m
completely surprised but so very and pleasantly so. On the other, there is a core-level knowing
that whenever it is I heed the deepest callings of my soul, things come
together. They always have and I’d like
to explain it but I just couldn’t. I’d
rather just appreciate the magic.
So, well, I’m moving.
The life I have set up for myself and my family here has been perfect,
comforting, safe and supporting. We have
really thrived and I couldn’t be more grateful.
But, in less than two weeks we turn everything upside-down, pack it and
move a state away. The job goes with me
(thankfully), and then just those things that truly matter the most. I have the home of my dreams and beyond. I am so very blessed. I am so very grateful. I will remain ever and always curious, open,
hopeful and grateful. I see how much the
energy of those perspectives have brought me and I trust myself and the universe now more than
ever. All will be well and as it is
meant to be. One step, one breath and
mile at a time and we’ll finally be there and enjoy the journey in our new
locale. I will leave behind me the sensitive and painful memories
for in this moment I find they are transformed.
I trust life, I trust myself and I trust the call to go, do and be what
I need to be and where I need to be it.
I came here like a rebellious child and I leave here time-tested,
strong, hopeful and ready to live intentionally, purposefully and gratefully.
Listening to the inner urgings can be tough until you truly
understand the difference between running away from something and running to
something. It is all a matter of
perspective, staying open, remaining trusting and willing to step up to those
callings. I know that ultimately all
will be well. How? Well, whenever in my life I have truly heeded
an inner soul-felt calling, everything magically fell into place even when no
amount of analysis, experience or tactical preparation could have predicted a
good outcome. It’s crazy, sometimes I
think, how life works and the perfect things, situations and people rally
that around to help a dream come true. I love
that. Maybe I’ll get back to writing or
discover a new adventure. I honestly
don’t know but I’m ready and willing to find out.
These last few days until the day will be filled with the
necessary strategies and mandatory activities but they will also be filled with
the deepest gratitude and appreciation for all that has transpired at every
point, juncture and crossroads of my life.
It’s been so beautiful. If
anything, I strongly recommend that every soul strive for and truly learn to
hear that soul call, that deep and true inner urging. Get so quiet that the ego can’t touch the
truth of the call, so that you feel the pure beautiful truth of it and then
take your steps in beauty, light and
pure faith. Bless!
