The leak in my ceiling is like a gentle waterfall and as the
hours go by, the paint bubbles to release some more. It’s almost like this place is filled with
pent up emotion bubbling out and ready to fall.
I’m home now waiting for the contractor to arrive. He’ll pull down the dry wall and the water
will fall whichever way it wants to. It
won’t have to find the seam from the last repair to try to worm it’s way out
and about from behind the dry wall. So
many metaphors spool up and race to reach my finger tips. I think I’ll just acknowledge them and flow
more gently with the vibe of the day.
Things go wrong sometimes at the worst possible time. You can stress and worry about these things
or you can just take things as they come, do what you can do and well, just
breathe. I never in my life would have
thought a leak coming through my ceiling would bring me peace. Really, I’ve already done everything I could
possibly do and now I wait. I wait for
help and assistance and listen to the tink, tink, tink as the water drips from
the ceiling onto the cookie sheets I have strategically placed around my living
room floor.
The floor is now getting wet and all I can do is shield the
electronics I’m not able to move at this time.
I’d take out the only semblance of norm we’ve been able to somewhat
restore since the leak became apparent.
I did take the opportunity to rearrange the furniture while everything was
torn up. I’m trying to change up the
energy a bit. Preliminarily, I’m happy
but it needs some fine tuning. I’m also
using the opportunity to throw away the clutter, get rid of a couple more big
pieces of furniture that just no longer suit me. All the money I spent for this piece 10 years
ago feeling like I was somebody because I could spend $900 on a beautiful
desk. It was one of the first really
nice things I bought for myself. I’m now
going to give it away. I no longer need
things of monetary value to feel okay. I find it easy to let go of things these
days and become so much more curious now to wander through my motivations then.
I’m so much happier, I think - letting go. I’m simplifying my life as much as I
can. I’m down grading, releasing,
breathing more comfortably and making plans to get rid of some more. So much have I physically carried with me for
all of these years. Honestly, I’m going to
empty my garage without opening the boxes.
I’ll donate what I recall as usable, recycle what I can and then just
enjoy the space with no need to fill it.
I suddenly feel so grown up, content and happy. Life isn’t about attaining material things as
much as we think it is. At some point
you realize you didn’t really even want half of the stuff you bought for a
quick fix of ego-joy. It pales greatly
in comparison to acceptance of self, love of what is, as it is and just being.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m as sentimental as the day is long
and have small trinkets from family and my partner all around the house that
make me smile. It isn’t the things that
matter but the sentiment behind them. If
I lost them all tomorrow, I’d carry the memory of the sentiments and just count
myself blessed. I glance up at the
ceiling and see yet another bulge in the paint as big as the palm of my
hand. At any moment, it is going to
break and more water will be tumbling down.
I’ve prepared - another cookie sheet is at the ready to catch the mini
deluge. I don’t know why I’m calm right
now but I like it. My home is chaotic at
the moment with everything being removed from the room where the water is
gently coming down. I’m not feeling
chaotic. If that bulge gets much bigger,
I may opt for a pot…hmmm. Not necessary,
I now hear dual tink, tink, tinks as the water is now making it through the
other leaking spot in the ceiling. Only another hour to go until help arrives
and we’ll hopefully have the leak found this time, staging for repairs of the
source and after-math of it and then repairing the ceiling and drying the
floors. Who knows how long it will
take. But I’ve got the day off today to
manage it and the frame of mind to handle it.
I guess that is just good enough.
Water is an amazing substance, I must say. I wholly admire its tenacity to move and
flow. I might appreciate it more where
it falling from the sky instead of my ceiling but, well, this is what I’ve got
to contend with today. So, I’m off to
it. Whatever you face in your day,
whatever inconvenience or frustration you encounter, just do what you can
do. Make sure you take some time to
breathe, step back and view the situation as if it were on a TV screen. Let it be as it is, let you be as you are and
know that you are up to the task and if not, ask for help and be grateful when
it arrives. Blessings of great peace,
calm and understanding for your journey.
© 2016 Jaie Hart
