Wandering Presence

In need of a break from the fluorescent lights, I made my way down two flights of stairs and headed for the door.  A cool sea breeze caught me the moment I opened the door.  The sun was warm and the beautiful cerulean sky was amazing.  As I continued to walk, I became quickly aware of the sound of construction coming from no less than 3 directions at once.

It struck me funny that in an area that is nearly already overbuilt and snarled with traffic to the point of pure gridlock at certain times a day that no less than 3 multistory buildings were all going up at once.  While I’m grateful that this means there is work for the men and women working on these sites, I could not help but feel a twinge of sadness.

How long before we can no longer see our blue sky unless we look straight up?  What will that mean for stargazing or staring off into the horizon?  Something I am often guilty of and always treated by a delightful blue sky staring back at me.  Would that I could fly above the roof tops in a moment such as this.

The scene seemingly shimmered as if it were a Hollywood Movie and suddenly I saw them, steel skyscraper mirrored towers reflecting nothing but the distorted gray of the other skyscrapers covering nearly every inch of pavement, no trees or flowers, just concrete, no more cars but tubes that conveyed people commuting.  It was a strange impersonal feeling world.  A very strange world to me.  I didn't like the vision at all even though I felt it in some strange way deep within.

 

The sunlight dancing on the windshield of a passing car caught my attention and the momentary vision of potential things to come dissipated.  I sat down under a tree and just felt the pristine beautiful presence of the moment so very grateful to be just where I was in this moment in time.  I realize at my core that if I should continue to allow the smallest part of my mind to wander, I could become perturbed by my vision.  But the heart of me knows the symbols are only an expression of a frustrated mind and I decide to enjoy delicious shade on a warm sunshiny day.

There will always be the things we wish to see and do not wish to see in this world and within this dream but deep inside, we are everlasting presence and it is that presence that if we step with confidence into that will see us through all moments equally with much grace, love and peace.

© 2015 Jaie Hart (words photo from leganerd.com)

Pain and Love In You

There will be times in our lives we will be delighted by those that see the good in us and there will be times in our lives we will be disappointed by those that only see what is not good in us. Which perspective is accurate and is it right or wrong? 

This is limited thinking in action on all accounts.

We are more than any one person can truly take in unless that person is incredibly self-aware and near fully self-actualized which not a lot of humanity can claim. So, what does this mean in terms of those who choose to see the good or the bad in us? In terms of who we really are?...Nothing.

We each will see in others what we filter through our own life experiences. If we’ve not done the work to identify what places those filters firmly in place, we will not see accurately either in the positive or the negative.

 Maybe a better way to understand is not just in terms of what is good or what is bad but rather in terms of who and what resonates with us in a moment and who and what does not.

 Our lives and the things we have lived through will shape our beliefs and perspectives to a degree that will limit our vision of a good number of things. While this may be a fact we must understand and contend with if we wish to grow, there are ways we can strive for the truth and that truth is in feeling. I’m not talking about emotion and I’ve written about this in many of my works.

The feeling part of us is much deeper than emotion and is more akin to the likes of our souls for the sake of easier reference. At this level we can “feel” the truth about ourselves, a situation or others. We just need to learn to take the time in silence and learn to feel what we feel most deeply. If we can do this, we can come to better understand where people are in their development and that is really a more curious and positive way to look at situations and people rather than the required black and white of good or bad.

You see, we are all in various stages of emotional, intellectual and moral development. If we could understand this, we could learn to hold the same compassion for others that we would hold for a child learning what they do not yet know and that we have already come to understand.

This just takes a willingness to step outside of the framework of control, labeling and comparing. It’s not an easy thing to learn. But when you do, you free yourself to move through this world with greater authenticity, more compassion and infinitely more love and curiosity. There is both pain and love within us and these are the filters that shape our vision. What do you think shapes the vision of others? Can you wager a guess or try to understand? If you can, you’ve just made a huge leap towards your own development. Just some food for thought.

© 2015 Jaie Hart (photo/words)

Fear is the Hook of Proving

I ran across a thought this week that gave me much pause to reflect. It began from a simple phrase and one that is usually quite motivational and has even been so for me in the past. 

The simple phrase is this:
 

“Prove them Wrong”

Who couldn’t identify with this statement? It rings a bell of strength and courage to overcome unsavory projections from others now doesn’t? I learned in life something a bit different and I’d like to share with you a little spin to offer you another perspective to consider. I have great respect for the true ideal behind this phrase so please don’t miss my meaning. I’m a respectful soul down to my very bones and do very much understand the intent behind this phrase.

When I consider what I have learned with environmental psychology alone and what I term malware in our human consciousness, I cannot help but see this phrase as a potential hook in the negative for those who are not quite yet self-aware.

To put it simply, to prove others wrong means a part of us has become concerned about what others think of us. This is one very powerful trap that can have you striving for minutes, hours, days and years or a life-time even just to prove others wrong.  We may put out much effort in this regard for very little return in terms of satisfaction for our efforts.

Here’s the thing, what other people think of us is really none of our business. If they think us lacking or unworthy, so what? Let people have their opinions and let them live with their own projection. You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself at the end of the day. You see, if you’ve fallen for the hook of needing to prove others wrong, there is already a part of you that agrees with them.

Your agreement is rooted in fear. If you can uncover and then acknowledge the fear and explore it, you’ve given yourself a better opportunity to get to the source. If you spent more time and energy understanding the fear, it would do more for you in the long run than expending effort to prove people wrong about you.

This isn’t to say that it’s a bad idea to clear up someone’s misunderstanding of you if a miscommunication has occurred. In this there isn’t really anything to prove but rather you take an opportunity to communicate and gain greater understanding. Proving people wrong as a form of vengeance for insult or verbal injury doesn’t ever solve the fear that becomes hooked. You can remove the hook by exploring the fear.

When you find a way to understand the fear, you won’t be hooked again. The next time a similar situation arises, you’re less likely to react knowing you have nothing to prove.  With this realization you can retain your balance and mental equanimity. It takes work, I’ll tell you that. But its work that will take you farther for longer than just striving to do something to spite someone else’s opinion of you. This is just some food for thought. Words are more powerful than you know. Think about them and what truth lies beneath them.

© 2015 Jaie Hart (photo/words)

With Thousands of Thoughts In Your Mind, How Do You Support You?

The average human mind thinks thousands of thoughts a day (estimated to be somewhere between 12 – 60K). If you could sift through them and bucket them, I wonder how many might truly come from the outside world in the form of negative judgments or beliefs creating more internalized thoughts of unworthiness and how many of them might be truly supportive, uplifting and self-loving.   I suppose there is no real way to definitively know but I think there is a way for us to tell and that is by how we feel should we become quiet enough and give ourselves permission to reflect.
 
Our thoughts race sometimes seemingly at the speed of light. If so many of those thoughts go through our minds unconsciously attaching emotions in the negative, we could end ourselves up in a really bad place without having any clue as to how we got there.

The way to slow down this unconscious process is to become very quiet in a moment alone and spend some time just noticing the thoughts that race, the thoughts that swirl, the ones that stumble and fumble through to our conscious cognition in the absence of any judgment. If we could find a few moments here and there to do this one thing and learn to dispassionately view the thoughts as not truly “us” per se but a by product of the ego functioning in part the way it was designed to in full acceptance of it just as it is, I think we might better be able arrive at a more pleasant present focus.

In the present, we need not worry about our thoughts or their feelings but just let them be and allow ourselves to think them realizing their origins may not have anything to do with us. With negative thoughts in particular, this is really important. A beautiful soul born on planet Earth would not come to carry the weight of negativity without purpose. So, why do we carry the heavy weight of our negative thoughts in the absence of understanding?

To give ourselves permission to reflect in the absence of judgment, gives us the power we need to create consciously and positively in our lives. We’re not necessarily taught this but it is one of the ways we can learn to better support ourselves. So why not begin to support ourselves by allowing greater understanding?

© 2015 Jaie Hart (photo/words)

Perfect in Our Imperfection

Some day we will learn that it is okay to be imperfect, to say or do the wrong things at the wrong time and that it is okay to make mistakes. I think sometimes we forget how perfect we are in our imperfection.

 Life is amazing no matter what but you have to remember that you just cannot be the perfect person at the perfect time for every single soul you run into in the way you might think you should be. Even when you show up seemingly and completely imperfect for someone in a moment, even in that there can be beautiful perfection.

 We don’t understand our own paths well enough at times let alone another’s. Who knows what they intended to learn or what you did? Your interaction will be perfectly timed no matter what you say or do or don’t say or do.

In a way this means that it’s okay to accept your every word, your every thought, your every emotion as well as those of others just as they are. There is no you like you in all of this universe. So be content with your unique qualities that add to the whole whether or not someone deems you perfect in a moment. 

You are perfect in every moment and so is everyone else. We are as we intended to be and we will interact as we intended whether we are conscious of that intent or not. We will learn from these exchanges and experiences. Just how cool is that?!

© 2015 Jaie Hart (photo/words)

The Wisdom of Legos

The sands of time begin to tell their tale in the lines about my eyes these days.  Youth left me quite some time ago, continues to and although at times I might wince just a little, I do not fear the hands of time.  It is those very lines that are evidence of the things that I have learned and that, primarily, is that life is a precious gift, as is the body, laughter and love.
 
I walk this path alone most days but on the perimeter always and ever stand those who would guide me from beyond without a moment’s hesitation.  I’m grateful for their presence always even when I don’t always care for the wisdom they will impart nor the things I know at the level of my soul that I must ponder and act upon.  But I always know what resonates deep within my soul and through daylight I walk this world with wonder and a curiosity that never sleeps and I carry these observations into the land of dreams each night.

There I am met by love everlasting, giving, beautiful, breathing light.  Oh to leave the land of dreams sometimes seems like punishment to me.  But I know now what I came here for and it is not duty and drudgery.  I certainly didn’t come here to maintain a perfectly clean house!  Were that the case, I would have neither children nor pets that enrich my life in ways that cause me to live in a state of constant gratitude.

The parents out there might understand this concept a bit more like this:  The wisdom of Legos dictates that when we walk the halls of our homes in the darkness and happen upon an unseen pile of Legos with our exposed bare feet, it is not that our children have been reared improperly to be so thoughtless–a fact we will deal with in the morning.  No.  It is that we have children we love and care for so much that it matters not that our homes are perfectly spotless but that there is love in the home. (This was a rather painful lesson I was once taught at precisely 2 a.m. while heading to the kitchen for a glass of water).

Life is so funny sometimes when we take the lesson plan or play a bit too seriously.  The obvious lessons are so well hidden in plain sight that it can take us years to see what stands plainly within the field of our vision.  It makes me laugh even more to recall those moments I have been swept away in ranging emotions for trivial things that never truly mattered.

The light of love and truth has come so many times and I did not wish to see or maybe I did not have the where-with-all at the time to truly understand.  But having suffered for embracing my own ignorance, I decided to step out from the darkness into the blinding clarifying light of truth – open my eyes and throw my arms open wide to embrace the love that lies deep within everything in existence I can even remotely begin to comprehend.

So, back to the play I suppose it is with me.  I have apparently much more to learn and in a certain area in particular.  How do you search when you have found what you are looking for?  You search no longer but proceed with your life and let what will be – well, be.  Pretty simple huh?  There is no pain in this realization really.  You must hold love and forgiveness for self as much as anyone else and in time you relax a little more into your own skin never minding the fact you don’t look like Barbie or some famous and beautiful movie star. You begin to learn to accept yourself as you are because nothing else makes sense any more.

There is no soul who comes here without experiencing their own nightmares at least for a time.  We are so much alike even though seemingly and incredibly diverse in terms of learning and understanding our life lessons.  We are one and not.  We are here and elsewhere.  We are here holding shadows seeking dissipation in the light. We are everything and nothing at all.  I’m okay with that.  I’m really okay with that.  Blessings for great understanding in your life.  May you find the flame of love within and follow your intuition in any way needed to keep that flame ignited.

© 2012 Jaie Hart (photo/words)

Resistance is Futile

There are times in our lives where our emotions will seemingly take us any way the wind blows and we may end up in some highly undesirable places in our own minds. It can at times be quite uncomfortable as we try to figure out not only how we got here, where ever here is, and how we may endeavor to get out. We are emotional creatures and act sometimes from the heart of these emotions in the absence of true understanding which can lead us to  places like anger, frustration, disappointment and even despair. We’re often lead to believe this is just life on Earth so get on with it.

At an overly simplified level this may be true. This is just the way life is so maybe we should just get on with it. But what if we could do so with greater understanding, certainty and confidence? Wouldn’t that make the bad feeling parts even a little easier to bear? I’d say certainly. What about you?

Sometimes there seems no easy way to get there from here when in an emotional state but when you do not understand your emotions or you resist them I’ll tell you that “there” seems an impossible distance from where we stand. Take heart though. There is a passage way and that passage way is understanding.

If you could understand that your emotions were not the enemy and learned to make friends with them, how do you think that might improve your journey? By making friends with your emotion I mean to say that you endeavor to open your mind to the idea that emotions are messages from you to you that something needs your attention, love, forgiveness, acceptance or just simple kindness.
When we can stop resisting our emotions long enough and understand that what we go through is ultimately for our greatest good no matter how bitter and jagged a pill that seems to swallow, we can over come much and with greater ease. We can get from here to there with grace, with ease of pace and even with a measure of joy for the journey. We need only be willing to entertain new thought or endeavor to embrace perspectives we might never have considered before.

Your life is an amazing journey even with all of its ups and downs. Emotions are messengers that tell you about the things really going on inside you that need your pause, reflection and consideration. When you can begin to understand this, you can ease into your life lessons with a little more certainty and a bit more control over your own thoughts and emotions. You can even render fear completely powerless with love if you try. To me, trying is doing. It’s not an in-between.

I encourage you to move through the journey that is your life with this greater understanding to one of life’s greatest secrets. Your emotions are you friends. Your anxiety is telling you that you may be moving too fast. Your depression may be telling you that you’ve had to act strong for too long without giving yourself credit. Your feelings of anger or incredulous may be telling you there is a lie that you are telling yourself or a situation you consider is not what it seems. You can learn about these emotions with pause and reflection. And of course some assistance of a coach, a cleric or licensed counselor. They are there to help you when you’re trying to understand not only where you are going in life but how you can get there in a way that truly best suits you. Just some food for thought. Blessings for your journey.

© Jaie Hart (Photo/Words)