Wielding Your Own Power

At some point in our lives a shift occurs and we realize that searching for someone to rescue us from our pain, our misery and everything else bleak, bad or wrong we encounter just can no longer occur.  In those moments we realize that no one is going to come to save us, we may despair a little, be envious in our thoughts recalling how it seemed that it has happened for everyone else we know but us and we may dive headlong into depression, anxiety, a bottle, drugs or some other form of escape only to realize eventually that even there...there is no escape.  If we could but relax just a moment instead, breathe in deeply the beauty, joy and love all around us all of the time, we may finally come to the conclusion that it is we who must stand up in our own light and rescue ourselves.  Primarily, we are really victims of only one hideous and heinous thing...our thoughts...our assumptions and the resulting feelings from those things.  If we could but right our thoughts and allow the shift to fully occur...that shift that has been trying to get to us from the moment we seemingly lost our connection to Source shortly after our arrival here, we may discover some really truly amazing things such as:

1.  We can save ourselves;
2.  We have more than enough love within us to fill even the darkest, most painful and frighteningly lonely places within us;
3.  We need no other soul to generate happiness on our behalf;
4.  We need blame no soul for the state of our being but us;
5.  We need not hold harmful and unloving thoughts of ourselves regardless of the horrible mistakes we might think we have made; and
6.  We can stand up in any second at any part of our lives and take accountability for our very next steps and thoughts no matter where we are and regardless of how we may have gotten there.

It doesn't really matter what happened to us in our lives.  We can lay out our thoughts for miles in blame, shame, denial, vengeance, anger and guilt or we can decide to leave that all behind and allow the transformation, which is truly only a return to our true selves to naturally and so very beautifully occur.  We have that much power within us and need only the faith and confidence enough in ourselves to stand up and take the next steps and breaths and just live more authentically and gently with our thoughts of ourselves.  It hurts when someone pushes us down.  I do not dispute that.  But here's the thing.  You can stay on the ground and complain about the bumps and bruises and who caused it, we can begrudge the fact we now must expend energy unnecessarily to stand back up again or we can completely disregard the fact we were pushed down and the reasons why someone may have pushed us down.  We can just stand up and figure out which direction we'd like to start walking free of the blame, free of victim thinking, free of poisonous and toxic anger at others, self-belittling thoughts and muster the courage to know that no matter what, we can stand in our own light even if there are those who would seemingly prefer to stand in front of the sun casting shadows on our path.

Our thoughts, our lives and our feelings about ourselves need never be dependent upon the actions of others, the words of others or the deeds of others.  Standing in your own light means that you know who you are, you know how you are and no matter what comes before you...you will rely on your own love, light and knowledge to guide you through life on your own merits.  You will encounter those along the way blinded by the mistaken thoughts or beliefs that they can make themselves better only to the extent they can take others out or down.  Neither feel sorry for nor engage in battle with such individuals.  They doom themselves for a time until they too learn to stand within their own light and know that they can choose to do this at any time and it really isn't your job to school them any way.  The reality is that your efforts to educate them will be wholly wasted until they are ready to make that shift.  Don't let such individuals prevent you from making the shift from dependence on the world reflecting your worth to knowing that only you can gauge your true worth in this world.

You came here with so much love and light within you.  No matter what has hidden these facts from you, trust that you can always uncover the truth beneath the lies others and even circumstance in the world have lead you to believe about you.  You are weak and powerless only to the extent you give permission for this to be so by making yourself the victim of words and actions of others.  Things may happen to you and unpleasant things at that.  But YOU get to decide how you will be accountable for your actions in the very next breath and step and every breath and step counts.  I suggest to you that you do not waste time or energy in blame, don't waste it with victimizing thoughts and don't sell yourself short by believing anyone but you has the power to define you.  You are no less than a walking, living and breathing miracle.  Your presence here at this time is so very valuable.  Stand up in your own light always and live like you mean it, love like there is no tomorrow and take every step knowing that you matter.  In love and infinite light may courage and conviction to shift and return to your own truth become your focus in your tougher moments.  You will succeed.  May your God/Goddess presence be felt within you in all the steps you take in your lives always.

(c) 2013 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)

Wandering with Intention

I wander along the pathway my thoughts have created.  I do not know or desire to, where they may lead me.  I'm content just to meander along them sifting through memories and thoughts once held important, dreams laid by the wayside and then there are the hopes.  Hopes and dreams can seem funny things sometimes.  We place much more emphasis on them than we likely should and often we do so from a seeming place of lack.  We aspire to be this or that not realizing we already are that and more.  The realization is funny even though it makes me wince a little.  The pain of this discovery always seems to feel a bit too fresh.  Years of searching, seeking understanding unknowingly and encountering one demolition after another of my poor tattered ego.  Just before I become too distraught with these memories and thoughts I realize what a beautiful thing the destruction of one's ego can be.  If off kilter in even the slightest degree one unknowingly wreaks havoc upon one's own life for reasons we have no conscious cognition of.  Decisions are often made to fend of spectres real or imagined that can truly confound all manner of happiness, logic and reason for a time.  Or, so it may seem.  What if nothing unintended ever really occurred in life? What if every single thing under the sun we encounter and experience was exactly what we intended to experience?

So many questions have I as I continue to wander through the days, years and moments of my life.  Expectations, I've learned have been an utterly ridiculous part of my experience and I laugh as I recall how I've created my own misery with them.  I decide to let go and continue to stay with this curious sway and weight the energy carries as the wandering through my own history continues.  I recall with a smile all scenes and actors even one's I cringed at finding in my play so long ago in my complete lack of understanding.  I realized some time ago that it was I that cast every actor in the scenes of the plays of  my life that I actually scripted, directed and produced.  Again, a tinge of that wincing feeling and soon I notice it's replaced by a permeating peaceful feeling.  All those anxious moments worried I was not living up to the expectations of another, all those times I judged myself by someone else's misplaced words and deeds or how I held those same thoughts towards others truly to no avail...It's so funny to me now.

Although the thoughts now seem to be traveling at lightning speed, behind the smoky anxiety looms a deeper peace and I know it's true source.  No matter what I have seen or experienced, no matter how many missteps that I have seemingly taken, no matter how much I never knew about love I find that am surrounded by it despite my best unconscious efforts to miss it in action.  Love is the very air we breathe and yet we search for it high and low in things, people and places.  We hold it within us, love surrounds us and when we get to the heart of the truth beneath all the layers of lack and loss, we find it waiting right exactly where we left it so very long ago.  A sigh leaves me as I smile at these thoughts and the frenetic manner in which they became a part of my consciousness.  No longer fearful I walk the path now in earnest.  No longer questioning now as I take each step.  No longer worried now I won't find my own light.  I realize it has guided me in every breath and step for the entirety of my life.  In a sense, in a very long and peaceful sense, I've come home.  Blessings of great love and wondrous mental meanderings on your journey dearest souls.  Be brave and courageous as you make your way through your lives.  Don't take too much too seriously and love yourselves and everyone and thing with every step and breath that you take.  You'll make your way and be so glad of it.  You can do it.  What are you waiting for?  Dream, live, laugh and love.  That's what you were born to do.

(c) 2013 Jaie Hart (photo from recruiterpoet.com)

What Was is No Longer - Wait, It Gets Better

I've learned of late how fragile life can be.  One moment, all seems to be well and everything or everyone you thought you could count on  is just there humming along just as you planned.  Then one day when you least expect it, everything changes. Someone leaves, jobs change and the unexpected happens.  Most often, we struggle at best to take things in stride but we do so first from a space of complete resistance.  We do not like change much when it comes to those things and people familiar and a comfort to us.  We do not like to let go and we do our best for a time to try to hold onto what was even though it is no longer.  We battle ourselves in these troublesome minutes, hours and days until we learn to shift our thoughts to the potentials for opportunity that we truly face.  There is opportunity in every seeming shift or change we encounter in life.  We can't feel that though if we are dead set against letting go to embrace intended transformation.  Life is about change and not about standing still ever.

When we can find a way to make our way to the top of the mountain that understanding most often seems to be, we'll see that change is necessary not only for us but for all involved in our lives and experience here on Earth.  When we let go we give ourselves permission to grow even if we didn't seek that out or even remotely desire any form of growth.  To strive to embrace only that which came before is folly.  We simply cannot hold back change.  We cannot prevent our own growth.  We try in so many ways though to stop it once it starts.  I know that I do not care for change much either and that at first, I will always be resistant.  I've learned though, to not assign too many emotions to such a series of thoughts because I only create my own prison.  We all do that in so many ways...create prisons.  We forget that we always have the keys to release us from the prisons we lock ourselves into with our thoughts.  I think when change strikes, if we can find some small way to fight to stay curious about what is happening and reserve judgement and the assignment of resulting emotion for a time, we'll come to understand what the change is calling for us to do and we'll set ourselves free from the prison of "loss."  Sometimes it is enough to let go of those we love who must go.  Sometimes it is enough to let go of situations that we counted on.  Sometimes it's enough to embrace happiness through a refusal to engage in resisting change.

It's never easy.  It just never is.  But, I have found that it is always worth it.  Today, we celebrate the Fourth of July, independence day.  Independence and being free are always a part of my thoughts and so, I've decided to free myself from one toxic thing today - resisting change.  In my refusal to resist change and to instead expect it, I have set myself free.  I don't have to engage in fearful emotions.  I don't have to engage in anger for what could have been, should have been or might have been.  I can relax into experiencing what is free from judgment.  I like that idea.  I always like finding some way to turn a seemingly negative experience, thought or encounter into a positive.  Sometimes we view a situation as if we have lost something.  That's often a short-sighted view because no matter what we might seem to be losing, we have gained precious knowledge for our efforts and in that we never really lose anything.  Sometimes we miss what we think we were supposed to gain.  Sometimes it is a mere experience of a thing or a person for a time and to not have that experience, thing or person be with us forever. 

Enough of my rambling thoughts for now.  Too much work, schoolwork and stress as well as some exciting and purely magical things have prevented my writing for a while and well, I had to take some time to sort out a few more things floating through my mind and heart.  For those who are experiencing loss in any way, my heart and prayers go out to you.  My wisdom tells me that at some point you will heal and once again come to see all that you have gained despite the loss you face in this moment.  Many blessings of love, light and pure understanding.

(c) 2013 Jaie Hart (photo, random internet find)